Sermon Nuggets Monday Sept 5 A Love Story -Courtship
Ruth 3:1 One day Naomi her mother-in-law said to her, "My daughter, should I not try to find a home for you, where you will be well provided for?
2 Is not Boaz, with whose servant girls you have been, a kinsman of ours? Tonight he will be winnowing barley on the threshing floor.
3 Wash and perfume yourself, and put on your best clothes. Then go down to the threshing floor, but don't let him know you are there until he has finished eating and drinking.
Considering Courtship
I often find it interesting how couples meet. Some of you might remember that Judi and I met at a wedding. I was the groomsman that escorted this beautiful bridesmaid down the aisle. The first time I ever saw her was the night before we were having sandwiches at the home of the mother of the bride, a mutual friend of ours, and here came Judi down stairs with her hair in curlers wanting to look good for the rehearsal I guess.
Following the wedding another couple we knew was supposed to give Judi a ride back from Rochester, Minnesota to St. Paul where she lived. Instead, they said they would be delayed and wondered if I could give her a lift home. I thought about it long and hard and 5 seconds later said, “Sure”. Three years later that couple stood up for us at our wedding. Those three years of courtship were surrounded with my starting a new job as youth pastor, with finishing up seminary, taking a year of Clinical Pastoral Education and living on the other side of the Twin Cities making some late nights when I got home to Robbinsdale from east side St. Paul. We talked, we thought, we prayed and came to the conclusion that this was of the Lord.
One girl was excitingly showing off her engagement ring and heard to say, “I don’t know whether I am able to stand a long engagement, sometimes I can barely keep from correcting Wilbur’s faults.”
Courtship has changed from the day of chaperones going along on dates, to the social pressure that some kids have to date a special love of their life in elementary school. Yet the time when a couple gets serious is an important period to look at personality, goals, values, faith, as well as the practicalities of how a couple gets along.
Attraction for another is certainly no reason to commit one’s life to another in marriage for physical attraction gives way to more important characteristics in life.
As we continue in the book of Ruth we see God working to provide a story of a redeemer through the story of Ruth and Boaz. This Gentile woman also becomes part of the genealogy of the Messiah chosen of God. Naomi was seeking to find a husband for her daughter-in-law to be sure she is provided for and protected. It is practical reasons for a young woman to marry. But God uses our experiences in life so show His Sovereignty and glory. God uses the courtship of Ruth and Boaz to introduce us to the concept of a redeemer, as God shows the extent of His love to us.
Pastor Dale
Sermon Nuggets Tues Sept 6 Customs
Ruth 3: 4 When he lies down, note the place where he is lying. Then go and uncover his feet and lie down. He will tell you what to do."
5 "I will do whatever you say," Ruth answered.
6 So she went down to the threshing floor and did everything her mother-in-law told her to do.
7 When Boaz had finished eating and drinking and was in good spirits, he went over to lie down at the far end of the grain pile. Ruth approached quietly, uncovered his feet and lay down.
8 In the middle of the night something startled the man, and he turned and discovered a woman lying at his feet.
9 "Who are you?" he asked. "I am your servant Ruth," she said. "Spread the corner of your garment over me, since you are a kinsman-redeemer."
Considering Customs
Immediately we see some unusual practices that do not take place in our culture. It would be highly improper for my mother to call my father on the telephone before they were married to initiate a date. It was always the man that took the initiative. In the day of Boaz and Ruth for a woman to take an initiative like Ruth did is very uncommon, but there are some cultural reasons for that.
First they followed an Old Testament custom of a Levirate marriage where the widow could initiate a desire for a close relative of the deceased to take her as his wife for care and protection. It was almost unheard of for a woman not to be married.
Men could be single for many years, but since a woman found value in childbearing and the more kids the better, she often married young. Naomi is concerned that Ruth be provided a home and security and at first didn’t think this was possible because she came from a different country. However, after Ruth made the Lord God Jehovah her God and accepted and followed the customs of Israelites, the racial question was no longer an issue. Boaz was the kinsman, the Hebrew word Goel.
Goel is one who fulfills one’s obligations as a redeemer. If times were hard and money short a man could part with his land, but there was always right and duty of redemption, which allowed one to buy back the land when times were better. Since Elemilech had land in Bethlehem he would also have the right to buy it back. But he died in Moab. That meant a near kinsman could pay for it and claim it back for the deceased in his name and for his honor. He could also marry the widow if she asked him and children would carry on the name of the deceased. The man could refuse.
So when Naomi found out Boaz was a distant relative the wheels of being a matchmaker started turning. There were some problems. 1) Boaz was not the nearest of kin, only she didn’t know that. 2) Naomi had the rights before Ruth did. 3) Boaz was older. Why would she want him for her husband? So it was her plan to cause this rendezvous that implied Ruth will fulfill the obligation. Since Naomi was making this intimate move it was showing that Ruth would like to have Boaz as her husband, age was not a problem.
A match maker was part of the Hebrew culture. Such a one sets up arrangements for potential mates. Some of you might remember the delightful play “Fiddler on the Roof” where Tevye has 5 daughters to marry off. The 3 oldest girls are hoping the matchmaker will make them a match. They sing, “Find me a find, catch me a catch. Look in your book and make me a perfect match. For papa make him a scholar for mamma make him rich as a King, for me, well, I wouldn’t holler if he were as handsome as anything. Matchmaker, Matchmaker I’ll bring the veil. You bring the groom slender and pale, Bring me a ring for I’m longing to be the envy of all I see.”
Well the woman looks over the choices and find one man who is 62 and another who is fat and short of temper and drunk – explaining that with no dowry, no money no family background they lucky she can even find a man. Well that changes their turn. They sing, “Match maker, matchmaker, you know that I’m still very young please take your time. Up until this time I misunderstood. I could get stuck for good. Maybe I’ve learned that playing with mates a girl can get burned.”
The problem with courtship is that unless one takes it very carefully many do get burned when you get married for the wrong reasons and to the wrong people.
One girls told her boyfriend that she wished he were like a huge rock. “What do you mean?” “A little bolder”
Ruth took a bold step to introduce the relationship to a new level of courtship. It wasn’t the custom but how Naomi went about it was, to follow the rights of a redeemer-kinsman. Ruth does not pursue an illicit relationship, but makes her request for companionship. Ruth tells Boaz right away why she came, lest he misunderstands.
Fornication was wrong in the Old Testament (Lev. 19:29; Deut. 21:13-21) just as in the New Testament (Mt. 15:19).She was trying to claim her rights as a young widow in respect to her departed husband
Boaz delights in seeing the faith in Ruth and shows her kindness as well a protection. Now the question comes, she desires him to be her companion. Will he fulfill that role for her?
Ezekiel 16:8 talks about the Lord taking Jerusalem and like bridegroom put his cloak over her. In our culture it might make more sense to give an engagement ring.
Pastor Dale
Sermon Nuggets Weds Sept 7 Culture
Verses-Ruth 3: 7 When Boaz had finished eating and drinking and was in good spirits, he went over to lie down at the far end of the grain pile. Ruth approached quietly, uncovered his feet and lay down.
8 In the middle of the night something startled the man, and he turned and discovered a woman lying at his feet.
9 "Who are you?" he asked. "I am your servant Ruth," she said. "Spread the corner of your garment over me, since you are a kinsman-redeemer."
10 "The LORD bless you, my daughter," he replied. "This kindness is greater than that which you showed earlier: You have not run after the younger men, whether rich or poor.
11 And now, my daughter, don't be afraid. I will do for you all you ask. All my fellow townsmen know that you are a woman of noble character.
12 Although it is true that I am near of kin, there is a kinsman-redeemer nearer than I.
13 Stay here for the night, and in the morning if he wants to redeem, good; let him redeem. But if he is not willing, as surely as the LORD lives I will do it. Lie here until morning."
Consider Culture
Courtship is cultural. I was surprised about mail order brides in Japan and Korea. In India the parents make arrangements and you may not see your spouse until the day of your wedding. There was an African student a Bethel who looked with suspicion of the American system of dating. He thought we are more concerned about emotion feeling, which does not make a good mate. In his tribe of Africa the parents are concerned for the welfare of their child and will pick someone who will be good for them because they don’t want their son or daughter to get hurt. They choose wisely.
I’m not so sure with all the expectations placed on young people today they appropriately handle all the temptations of dating without thinking about honoring God.
The average marrying age is getting younger than it used to be for first marriages. There are lots more second marriages than ever before. As you know in the news the whole institution of marriage is under attack as thousands of homosexual couples have gotten married. Many states have voted to define marriage is between one man and one woman, or you have changed the institution and morals of a relationship. Marriage as well as any “courtship” are under attack. The problem we have as Christians is to look a the Word of God and discover what is beyond culture and custom. What includes culture and custom and keep the principles and laws of the Lord?
There is no indication of dating in the Bible. Does that make is wrong? There are arranged marriages in the Bible. Does that mean we all should have arranged marriages? I was asked recently about the many wives the patriarchs of Scripture had. When does culture conflict with the perfect plan of God?
Marriage is instituted of God. The practices of how one marries certainly can be cultural and changes from area to area. Living together and having intercourse outside of marriage is not a cultural issue, it is sin against God and others. Some things do not change as cultural changes. Being faithful to your spouse is a Biblical directive and command. Regardless of how our culture changes Christians have a higher authority.
Someone said, There tends to be too much romance before marriage and not enough after marriage. Go into marriage with eyes wide open and after the wedding with eyes half closed. In our day it is important to look at background and value similarities. One looks at how compatible they are in philosophy of raising children, money management, working outside the home, career, education. We try to look at resolving differences, and respect and honor in a relationship. There is the big no no word, submission. If people aren’t willing to submit their own desires for the best of the family then don’t get married.
Naomi is concerned that Ruth have security. She is concerned about protection and like any Grandmother wouldn’t mind having some grandkids to boot as according to the law any children she had would be carrying on the clan of Elemelich.
She gives some advice to Ruth. Dress up look nice and use perfume. Make yourself attractive to Boaz. This almost sounds deceiving, doesn’t it? Our society is well familiar with how beauty and attractiveness sells products. We know that one seeks to look their best if they want to interest a guy. I don’t doubt Naomi’s motives. She had a strategy of wanting to do right with Ruth in presenting her to the kinsman-redeemer. I am not sure I agree with the techniques. I don’t mean to dress nicely, but to wait until he is well fed and asleep to sneak into his room in darkness and take his cues.
What’s up with Naomi’s advice to Ruth? Yes, look nice and the psychology of presenting yourself when the guy is well fed is probably a good idea. But I’m not sure about this late night private rendezvous. It is true that he would pretty much have to take her as his wife if they got intimate, but there are other interpretations.
Some think it is a way of asking to be married. Some think to uncover the feet is so he’ll wake up gradually because his feet get cold. Some think it is a symbol of submission to him as a willing and ready servant. Some think it refers to the verse in the previous chapter of being under the wing of the Lord, now wanting to also be under the garment, or protection, of this man.
It meant something in that culture which maybe we might now understand. But what is clear is that Ruth is being presented by Naomi and this can be the initiation of requesting a proposal for marriage. There are other cultural rule that must be followed first. Those laws of the land are used as a picture of Jesus and the church in a symbolic way.
Pastor Dale
Sermon Nuggets Thurs Sept 8 - Companionship
Verses- Ruth 3: 10 "The LORD bless you, my daughter," he replied. "This kindness is greater than that which you showed earlier: You have not run after the younger men, whether rich or poor.11 And now, my daughter, don't be afraid. I will do for you all you ask. All my fellow townsmen know that you are a woman of noble character.
12 Although it is true that I am near of kin, there is a kinsman-redeemer nearer than I.
13 Stay here for the night, and in the morning if he wants to redeem, good; let him redeem. But if he is not willing, as surely as the LORD lives I will do it. Lie here until morning."
14 So she lay at his feet until morning, but got up before anyone could be recognized; and he said, "Don't let it be known that a woman came to the threshing floor."
15 He also said, "Bring me the shawl you are wearing and hold it out." When she did so, he poured into it six measures of barley and put it on her. Then he went back to town.
16 When Ruth came to her mother-in-law, Naomi asked, "How did it go, my daughter?" Then she told her everything Boaz had done for her
17 and added, "He gave me these six measures of barley, saying, 'Don't go back to your mother-in-law empty-handed.'"
18 Then Naomi said, "Wait, my daughter, until you find out what happens. For the man will not rest until the matter is settled today."
Considering Companionship
One of the greatest inventions of God is marriage. It is also one of the most challenging relationships one can have. We see from Genesis that the companionship that Adam had with God was special, but when it came to the work on earth there was no helpmate for him. He was lonely. In God’s wisdom he created woman and the marvelous statement is “she is bone of my bone and flesh of my flesh. She shall be called woman for she was taken out of man. For this reason a man will leave his father and mother and be united to his wife and they will become one flesh.”
This design was for companionship in work, in worship, in pleasure, in raising a family. Perhaps that is one reason why many Christians rise up against the attack on marriage by the gay community by wanting to change the Biblical definition. Friends are important, no matter who they are, but God did design a special relationship between man and woman and their commitment to one another.
This is not to say everyone is to be married. God has a place for single people. The Bible also speaks of that. But it is easier in our day to be single than it was in the day. There were no economic privileges to a woman. There were very little career opportunities. They were not allowed to own and purchase property or hold contracts.
When Boaz recognizes he is not the closest relative to honor the cultural pledge of marrying Ruth he affirmed he would do what was required and desired to have Ruth to be his wife. He would seek to take the role of redeemer, protector.
My mother used to go collect S&H green stamps. They were given out at various stores when purchases were made. One of my tasks was to stick the stamps in redemption books. Then we’d go to a redemption center. There were pictures of things you could get for so many books. I don’t remember all that she got, but I remember a toaster, and a coffee pot which were for free as we had enough stamps to trade them in.
We don’t have redemption centers any more, but the point is that a redeemer is someone who trades something for what they wish to have. To redeem is to move from something lesser to something greater – to pay what is required to get something of value.
To redeem is paying-off someone’s debt – or buying someone from slavery so they can be free. This is a type of Christ as the redeemer kinsman fulfills the requirements. To redeems an inheritance the person must be a kinsman and willing. Christ coming from Bethlehem, near kinsman (Heb 2:14-17 “since the children have flesh and blood. He too shared in their humanity so that by his death he might destroy him who holds the power of death and free those who all their lives were held in slavery." He was willing to redeem us. He desires our companionship. He bought us with a price to redeem us unto Himself.
The companionship Boaz wanted was a pure and righteous one, not a sexual relationship to see if it would work or not out of personal pleasure and lust. He didn’t want to ruin reputation by having anyone know that Ruth had been to the threshing floor. Nothing had happened that was improper, but since when do the facts matter to gossipers?
Man looks on the outward appearance, but God looks upon the heart. It would go well for young people to take time to see the heart of the one who wish to marry. Look at the communication of character and morals, of faith and respect as well as honor. Share what is on your heart and seek to understand one another.
Pastor Dale
Sermon Nuggets Fri Sept 9 Circumstances
Verses: Ruth 3: 16 When Ruth came to her mother-in-law, Naomi asked, "How did it go, my daughter?" Then she told her everything Boaz had done for her
17 and added, "He gave me these six measures of barley, saying, 'Don't go back to your mother-in-law empty-handed.'"
18 Then Naomi said, "Wait, my daughter, until you find out what happens. For the man will not rest until the matter is settled today."
Considering Circumstances.
God arranges circumstances beyond our control. God certainly worked out the circumstances that they met. Ruth just happened to come to his property to work. There are no words for coincidence or luck in the Bible. They happed to show interest in one another, He happened to be the kinsman who could redeemer Ruth. Realizing that some things are means to another we are delighted to see the sovereignty of God working. We are willing to accept them and certainly the attitude of Boaz is if it is agreeable with the kinsman then he must do what is right. You do what you can and you leave the rest up to God. He will work out the circumstances to have His will. That gives us as Christians tremendous assurance.
Naomi knew there was a time to move and a time to sit still. When we have done our part then it is time to sit and wait on the Lord. There is a time of rest when labors are over. They were going to leave the details up to God.
I have heard many people speak of a death of a vision. That is where you have a vision, do the work to achieve that vision and then it seems blocked. “Okay God if it is really of you then do your work to accomplish this.” Maybe this is a blessing in disguise and God has something different or better. Or this might be nothing but headaches and instead of glorifying the Lord that will cause difficulties within the community.
Billy Graham wrote of his engagement to another woman. He loved her and was willing to do anything for her. Emily Cavanaugh was 20 year old student at Florida Bible School. He loved her from the moment he saw her. She had “sparkling personality, intelligent, musical, same faith, vivacious, dedicated partner at tennis, and worked together for youth and became engaged. Later that year she began to have doubts. At a social it was customary for boys to send corsages to girls they liked. Billy decided to send a more expensive one because he wanted the best for Emily. During the party she did not wear it and asked to talk to him. “I don’t think you’re the man for me, Bill” He replied, “You know that I love you. I thought that you loved me. We’ve been spending an awful lot of time together. I’m sorry I thought you cared for me”
“I do. I’m very fond of you, but not that way. The truth is I don‘t think you’re ready to get serious with any girl. You’re a drifter. You’re irresponsible. I’ve listened to you talk and I don’t see anything in your plans as of this time, of a clear Christian purpose. An evangelist? What kind of life is that? Would you expect your wife to be traveling with you all the time? What kind of home life would you have? How could you expect to raise children? No I want more security than that.”
Graham was dejected and discouraged and wanted to quit. The realization that emotion of love is one thing, but hard look at her values and circumstances of the situation said what a minute this just isn’t right. Lets break off the engagement.
His friend gave him that verse. “All this works together for good to those who love God and are called according to his purposes.” Rom 8:128 That was it.
Through the circumstances God was trying to teach him to trust him not his emotions. He knows best. There would be someone more fitting to his call. Well, Ruth Bell had her reservations also because she believed God wanted her to be a missionary to China. But in the biography we read how God affirmed their marriage 4 years later while they attended Wheaton College. When God saw the time and person was right.
We will see how the circumstances work out for Ruth and Boaz. There is hope. For it is Boaz and Ruth who become the grandparents of king David – and also the human forefathers of Jesus the Messiah – the Redeemer of the world. It is through the union of Ruth and Boaz that God eventually brings redemption to the world.
Pastor Dale
