Sermon Nuggets Mon Nov 5
Gen 37
Handling Envy
Is there a difference between
wishing you could be like someone else and the sin of envy? I admire someone
who can sing well and often wish I could. Am I being envious? Or if someone was
on “Do you want to be a millionaire?” Sometimes I wonder what it would be like.
Or when I’ve had lots of car trouble, I wish I could have a car like some in my
church that runs well.
I have been thinking about
retirement a great deal and what I should and should not be doing for the
future for the health of SBC. While at study break a few years ago I was
talking with a pastor who was telling of a problem he had in his former church
where the pastor had been there for almost 30 years and retired in the church.
He kept running the church informally even when he wasn’t the pastor any
longer. He remained in the church and this provided for conflict. One person
asked the new pastor to come and pray for her husband who was quite ill and in
the process led him to accept the Lord. When the older pastor heard about the
good news he drove over to the house and confronted the new convert and asked
him why he didn’t accept the Lord when he was pastor. He talked enough about it
to him. It wasn’t fair. That’s envy.
The Lord has rebuked me in looking
at my envy when I see some of my friends have growing churches and I don’t.
That feeling isn’t just admiration; it is envy. Have you ever heard the sounds
of envy? They sound like this:
"It’s not fair, Tommy gets to
stay up till 8 o’clock and I have to go to bed at 7:30, and he’s younger than
me. I wish I had his parents."
"I hate her. Her hair always is perfect
and teeth shiny and white.”
“How did Bob get a car like that?
His parents must have bought it for him.”
"Why can’t you be more like
Rita’s husband, he’s so good at woodworking and making things. Why can’t you
make things like he does?"
"Everything seems to be so easy for them.
God seems to bless them so much. It doesn’t seem fair"
These are the kind of thoughts that go through the minds of all people, even Christians. They seem harmless. They may even motivate us to try harder to achieve or be better people. It’s natural to compare ourselves to others and then, of course, we want to have some of their good traits or abilities. The problem is that when we continue to feel this way, or start resenting others, we are being envious.
As we begin the stories about
Joseph, God has many lessons for us in various areas of our lives. This week we
will look at handling envy.
Pastor Dale
Sermon Nuggets Tues Nov 6
Gen 37:1-9 Jacob lived in the land where his father had stayed, the
land of Canaan.
2 This is the account of Jacob.
Joseph, a young man of seventeen, was tending the
flocks with his brothers, the sons of Bilhah and the sons of Zilpah, his
father’s wives, and he brought their father a bad report about them.
3 Now Israel loved Joseph more
than any of his other sons, because he had been born to him in his old
age; and he made a richly ornamented robe for him. 4 When
his brothers saw that their father loved him more than any of them, they hated
him and could not speak a kind word to him.
5 Joseph had a dream, and when
he told it to his brothers, they hated him all the more. 6 He
said to them, “Listen to this dream I had: 7 We
were binding sheaves of grain out in the field when suddenly my sheaf rose
and stood upright, while your sheaves gathered around mine and bowed down to
it.”
8 His brothers said to him, “Do you
intend to reign over us? Will you actually rule us?” And they hated him
all the more because of his dream and what he had said.
9 Then he had another dream, and
he told it to his brothers. “Listen,” he said, “I had another dream, and this
time the sun and moon and eleven stars were bowing down to me.”
The Causes for Envy
Step families- There is a problem that is very common
among blended families. Increasingly in our society where divorce, death,
remarriage and couples living together there are increased number of step families.
When I heard Jim Faye speaking in
Cambridge on parenting a number of years ago he made a good point. It went
something like this. “Judi, I love you with all my heart. I’ve found such joy
in our love. You are very special to me. In fact I have so much love around
that I want to bring another woman into the home also, we can all enjoy each
other so much.”
Now had to that their children and
as far as the mothers are concerned they are half brothers and sisters. Birth
order can cause rivalries between siblings. Where does that leave oldest child
when another one is brought into the home to love just as much. (jealousy). But
when one has a different parent that can only add to their feelings of
insecurity and competition. Now if you
bring in other children by step children or half siblings there is a bond
between some and not others and now you can have team rivalries going on. They
compete for attention of mom and dad. They are very aware of who is getting
most attention and when. Parents soon learn that it’s impossible to be fair
because kids are constantly comparing by their definition of what fair is. It
is hard enough for blood brothers and sisters to get along, but there is a
natural tendency to have a closer attachment to your own full siblings, than
half brothers and sisters and step siblings.
We have talked before about the
inappropriateness of polygamy, and with progressive revelation how it was
condemned in the Bible later when the law was established with Moses. There was
problems with envy with Cain and Able and certainly with Sara and Hagar and
their children Ishmael and Isaac. We see envy lift its green head when Joseph
and Benjamin were sons from favorite wife, Rachael and others resented her
family. Now Benjamin was just born and too young to be part of the internal
dynamics of the family. But Joseph was the youngest of the brothers as a teen
and was resented. Just because you were born to whom you were born to can
automatically cause envy and you have nothing to do with it.
Parental Favoritism Dad didn’t help the matter any by
playing favorites It is not easy being a parent. I talked with a couple of
parents that had three children. They discussed the problems with having a
middle child and how that child often felt left out and struggled for
attention. The oldest seemed to have privileges the others don’t at the time
because of his or her age, and the youngest is pampered and looked upon as
spoiled and protected, but the middle kids feels left out and after that others
get favoritism. Unless there is a large age difference it is common that
brothers and sisters will compare themselves with each other. It is impossible to treat each child alike
because each child is different. What impresses or bothers one children doesn’t
the other.
It is unfortunate but true that all the patriarchs had
favorite kids they treated differently. Abraham favored Isaac and there was envy.
Isaac favored Esau and there was envy. Rabekah favored Jacob and there was
envy. Jacob favored Joseph and there is envy. It wasn’t imagined it was real.
He made it plain this son was special and different and liked and loved more.
Playing favorites among children
causes serious problems. Playing favorites among people is wrong. It boils down
to showing partiality and prejudice. It is hard for all the love kids need to
feel they aren’t getting enough love and support. Joseph isn’t the one at fault
in this area, but Jacob is.
I don’t
know how one lady was able to do it, but after her funeral the adults children
were talking and one finally confessed that she was sorry and felt badly
because she knew she was Mom’s favorite. The great thing was each of the
children felt they were the favorite children because of the unique and special
relationship she had with them.
How do you evaluate
the relationships you have in your family? What about has a parent? Do you see
how your children cooperate or hold resentments? What might be some cause for
that and how can you encourage growing respect, closeness and love?
What about has a
sibling? How is the relationship you have with other brothers and sisters? Do
you see yourself comparing or contrasting yourself with them? In what ways?
Where might envy and jealousy creep in? What might be causes that result by no
fault of the children?
Make your
relationships a matter of prayer and celebrate the uniqueness God has given to
and your siblings. Seek cooperation and reconciliation whenever possible. As
much as it depends on you, live in peace.
Pastor Dale
Sermon Nuggets Weds
Nov 7
Gen 37: 8 His
brothers said to him, “Do you intend to reign over us? Will you actually rule
us?” And they hated him all the more because of his dream and what he
had said.
9 Then he had another dream, and
he told it to his brothers. “Listen,” he said, “I had another dream, and this
time the sun and moon and eleven stars were bowing down to me.”
Adding to Envy
Addressing
yesterday some causes of envy it resulted over things Joseph had no control.
His parents favored him over the others. He was the youngest in birth order. A
lot of envy and jealousy existed even before Joseph was born and he added to
their problems.
But now we see some
things that Joseph did which added to the resentment his brothers held. He
flaunted his gifts and differences. Perhaps it wasn’t intentional but it seems
highlighting his prophetic dreams added fuel to their hostility. I know when I
was angry at my older brother and wanted to get back at him I would flaunt a
gift I got over his. I would brag about a party I went to and he didn’t have
that privilege. I would make fun of his clothes. Why? My heart was not wise or
right.
Let’s look at other
things that add to the envy department and the way some people might show it
off.
Possessions Another cause of
envy is possessions. People who have things are envied by many who do not. One
of the 10 commandments says Thou shalt not covet another’s possessions.
Covetousness is the desire to have what someone else has. It is not that it
would be nice, but hard feelings occur and negative feelings are built up
against the other because they have something and you don’t.
I am told you don’t have to worry
about crabs getting out of pail because as
soon as one gets close to getting out the others drag him back in. If they
can’t get free, no one can get free.
Joseph had
a coat of many colors. It was beautiful. It was something everyone wanted, but
only Joseph got. It was a gift by his father and every time the brothers saw it
they were filled with envy. He wore it often. I highlighted what the brothers did
not have. What is it others have that made you feel envious and bring up hurt
feelings?
Giftedness is another cause
of envy. When someone has a gift or an ability that is popular others can be
resentful of them. If someone sings well, or has athletic prowess, or someone
has intellectual ability, or dramatic gifts or artist talents others can be
envious of him or her. If someone gets promoted because of sales ability it can
be hard on the emotions when everything goes easy for some and so hard for
others. It doesn’t seem fair.
We see criminal results of envy when in cheerleading
competition in Texas one’s mother saw to it another girl killed so her daughter
would win. Remember also when Tanya Harding was in figure skating competition in
the Olympics she hired a person to break the knee of the competition. You can
see how envy turns murderous.
God gave to
Joseph an ability that was special in every way. He was given the gift of
dreams and the interpretation of dreams that had prophetic implications. He saw
things others didn’t and it had meaning. These sheaves are prophetic of the
time to come when there is family in the land and the brothers had to go down
to Egypt to Joseph and bow and beg for grain in order to eat. This came about
just as God revealed to Joseph. Also his whole family was under his rule when
he was second only to Pharoah.
Leadership
is a talent and gift as well as anything else and the brothers envied Joe
because of it.
Bragging is a cause of envy.
It isn’t so bad that someone has looks over which they have no control over
some God given ability. It makes is horrible however if they start bragging
about what they can do, or gloating over others who don’t match up. Conceit is
a problem that breaks relationships and hurts feelings. It is pride that builds
in the feelings of envy. I don’ think young Joseph was helping the matters of
good relationship when he flaunted the facts of his being better than his
brothers and some day they would all fall down and pay him honor.
Pastor Dale
Sermon Nuggets Thurs Nov 8
Gen 37: 12 Now
his brothers had gone to graze their father’s flocks near Shechem, 13 and
Israel said to Joseph, “As you know, your brothers are grazing the flocks
near Shechem. Come, I am going to send you to them.”
“Very well,” he replied.
14 So he said to him, “Go and see if
all is well with your brothers and with the flocks, and bring word back to
me.” Then he sent him off from the Valley of Hebron.
When Joseph arrived at Shechem, 15 a
man found him wandering around in the fields and asked him, “What are you
looking for?”
16 He replied, “I’m looking for my
brothers. Can you tell me where they are grazing their flocks?”
17 “They have moved on from here,”
the man answered. “I heard them say, ‘Let’s go to Dothan.’”
So Joseph went after his brothers and found them near
Dothan. 18 But they saw him in the distance, and
before he reached them, they plotted to kill him.
19 “Here comes that dreamer!” they
said to each other. 20 “Come now, let’s kill him
and throw him into one of these cisterns and say that a ferocious animal devoured
him. Then we’ll see what comes of his dreams.”
21 When Reuben heard this, he
tried to rescue him from their hands. “Let’s not take his life,” he said. 22 “Don’t
shed any blood. Throw him into this cistern here in the desert, but don’t
lay a hand on him.” Reuben said this to rescue him from them and take him back
to his father.
23 So when Joseph came to his
brothers, they stripped him of his robe—the richly ornamented robe he was
wearing— 24 and they took him and threw him into
the cistern. Now the cistern was empty; there was no water in it.
25 As they sat down to eat their
meal, they looked up and saw a caravan of Ishmaelites coming from Gilead. Their
camels were loaded with spices, balm and myrrh, and they were on
their way to take them down to Egypt.
26 Judah said to his brothers,
“What will we gain if we kill our brother and cover up his blood? 27 Come,
let’s sell him to the Ishmaelites and not lay our hands on him; after all, he
is our brother, our own flesh and blood.” His brothers agreed.
28 So when the Midianite merchants
came by, his brothers pulled Joseph up out of the cistern and sold him
for twenty shekels of silver to the Ishmaelites, who took him to
Egypt.
The Consequences of Envy
When the
brothers of Joseph had enough of feeling inferior they responded as Cain, who
killed his brother. Fortunately, by God’s grace a caravan of merchants came
upon them and instead of killing Joseph they sold him into slavery.
Resentment is probably what happens
first. The more you are confronted with the issue and the more you have to live
with it the more resentment builds into hatred. But left to fester resentment
can turn to bitterness and bitterness to hatred. That is how it is described of
Joseph’s brothers with him. They learned to hate him because of envy. Hatred is
an evil thing. It can bring up emotions that can preoccupy us. It can cause us
to focus on little else than the party that we resent.
Envy can be the controlling force
in our lives. It so easily leads us to sin.. It led David to steal Uriah’s
wife. It led the Pharisees to reject Jesus, the Son of God.
Is there someone you hate today? Someone that hurt you, said
something about you? Hatred is real between children and a husband and wife. It
needs to stop today before it leads to the next steps.
They couldn’t think of a kind word to say. When we put
others down and speak ill against them I wonder how often the root and source
is envy. We feel we can build ourselves
up when we take another down so we don’t feel so badly about ourselves. And we
might even do things to take away their reputation. So easy to say something
negative about someone we envy. "Maybe he’s a good preacher but he sure
does not know how to be a pastor or a shepherd."
Gossip is part of the unkindness that is done toward people
we envy. We think of things that will hurt the others reputation or consider
ways to talk about the other person so people we will with will agree with us
or not befriend them. Isn’t it interesting there was nothing they said about
him that was kind.
Gary Collins my former psychology
professor at Bethel gave a distinction between jealousy and envy. To envy is to
want something, which belongs to another person. In contrast, jealousy is the
fear that something that we possess will be taken away by another person.
Jealousy can apply to our jobs, our possession or our reputations. We might be
afraid if the affections of a loved one might be lost to a rival. We fear that
our mates, or perhaps our children will be lured away by some other person who
when compared to us, seems to be more attractive, capable and successful.
The brothers felt they were losing
the love and respect of dad. They wanted what Joseph had and if they didn’t get
it, then he wasn’t going to keep it either. We cannot bear them having
something we don’t have ourselves. We want them to lose what they have. We may
even wish them illness. We’re so envious or jealous that we wish they would
loose their looks, health, good voice or integrity. Maybe we’re tired of
hearing about how good someone is or, say, a church is. "They’ve got it
all together - great music, great pastor, great facilities - everyone wants to
be part of the church." And then we hear that they are having some
problems. Inside of us, we may smile. We kind of feel good. Because we did not
have what they did, we like to see them tarnished or to loose it.
The brothers plotted to take him and put him into a dry cistern where water is kept. It is in the dessert. They were convinced by brother Reuben not to kill him but leave him there for now. He had intended to take him out later, but hatred and crowd and peer appeal grows.
Then it will lead to actually wishing
harm on others. You begin to hope for bad things to happen. Don’t even be
surprised at this. How many times have you thought, I hope they break a leg, I
hope their business fails. I know marriages where they each begin to hate each
other and hope something bad happens to the other person, even that they would
die in an accident.
Dwight L Moody once told the fable of an eagle who was envious of another that could fly better than he could. One day the bird saw a sportsman with a bow and arrow and said to him. “I wish you would bring down that eagle up there.” The man said he would if he had some feathers for his arrow. So the jealous eagle pulled one out of his wing. The arrow was short, but it didn’t quite reach the rival bird because hew as flying too high. The first eagle pulled out another feather, then another- until he had lost so many he himself couldn’t fly. The archer took advantage of the situation and turned around and killed the helpless bird.
Sooner or later when we continue is
destructive behavior we are the ones affected by it and things go from bad to
worse. Form envy, jealousy, hatred,
harm, murder, selling their brother into slavery, deceiving their
father, facing the consequences of instead of him lavishing his love on them
and attention on them he goes into deep grief and neither get what they want.
The have to cover up their sin by lying and as you know the story eventually
the have to face the consequence of their sin in Egypt and fall before the feet
of Joseph in sorrow and repentance.
Self destruction is the consequence
of envy. We are the ones who hurt ourselves the one we hate and others we love
in the process. When we harbor things like that in our hearts it grows and
grows until resentment turns to hatred to harm and revenge and then spills over
to hurting others we love unintentionally because of our own uncontrolled
emotions. They did not intend to hurt Dad except to the point that he favored
Joseph.
James 3:16.” For where you have envy and selfish
ambition, there you find disorder and every evil practice.” Wow. I read that
and realized that at the core of most of sin according to the Bible are two
things: Selfish ambition, and envy-focusing on what I want and focusing on the
resentments toward others. And we bear the miserable consequences.
Pastor Dale
Sermon Nuggets Fri Nov 9
Gen 37: 29 When
Reuben returned to the cistern and saw that Joseph was not there, he tore his
clothes. 30 He went back to his brothers and said,
“The boy isn’t there! Where can I turn now?”
31 Then they got Joseph’s robe, slaughtered
a goat and dipped the robe in the blood. 32 They
took the ornamented robe back to their father and said, “We found this.
Examine it to see whether it is your son’s robe.”
33 He recognized it and said, “It is
my son’s robe! Some ferocious animal has devoured him. Joseph has surely
been torn to pieces.”
34 Then Jacob tore his clothes, put
on sackcloth and mourned for his son many days. 35 All
his sons and daughters came to comfort him, but he refused to be
comforted. “No,” he said, “in mourning will I go down to the grave to
my son.” So his father wept for him.
The Cure for
Envy
This
passage is sad in that it doesn’t illustrate all that could have been done to
find peace after there was sin. Reuben know it was wrong. Went along with his
brothers for a time, but his love for dad and desire to release Joseph wasn’t
enough. He didn’t act fast enough. His feeling of remorse, unfortunately as still
covered up by a lie that Joseph was killed by an ferocious animal.
How do we face envy and get the
cure for that sin? The only result is confessing it for what it is. Call it
what it is. It is sin and an offense that needs to be faced. Admit that it is
wrong.
I am so grateful for 1 John 1:9 I
think the Lord put that verse in the Bible just for me. If we confess our sins
he is faithful and just to forgives us of our sins and cleanses us of all
unrighteousness. Do you know that is how
all of us must first come to God to begin with? That is how we even become children
of God by confessing our sins and trusting in the death of Jesus Christ on the
cross to save us and believe in him and accept Him as our savior and Lord.
Maybe some today need to come to that place in their live and get right with
God by trusting in Christ. Maybe you are a Christian and need to come to ask
God’s forgiveness.
Contentment is realizing there is something else that has
the focus of my attention. It isn’t whether someone is a better singer, or as
more money, or has more privileges or less problems in their lives. Contentment
is something within that is a gift form God when our focus is on things above
and not on things below. Some of the most contented people are people who have
very little, but are satisfied. The richest of men who is not satisfied with
what they have are not contented.
We become content when we stop
comparing and contrasting yourselves with others and are grateful to God for
what he has done and is doing in your life. Contentment is being thankful for who we are
and what we have. We should strive for holiness and to develop and use gifts
and talents God has given us, but if we are content we do not envy 1 Tim 6:6 But godliness with contentment is
great gain.
Heb 13:5 Keep your lives free from the love of money and be content with what you have, because God has said, "Never will I leave you; never will I forsake you."
Phil 4:11-12 I am not saying this
because I am in need, for I have learned to be content whatever the
circumstances. I know what it is to be in need, and I know what it is to have
plenty. I have learned the secret of being content in any and every situation,
whether well fed or hungry, whether living in plenty or in want. I can do
everything through him who gives me strength.
Pray for those whom you envy. Pray that God
will use them for His glory. We are told to pray for those who persecute us.
That includes those who bother us (make us feel persecuted). As we pray for
them, our envy will disappear and we will rejoice in their strengths and gifts
rather than resent them.
Some of you know of the great preachers of London, F.B.
Meyer, Haddon Spurgeon, G. Campbell Morgan. Spurgeon and Morgan’s churches were
flourishing and growing by the 1,000s Meyers was not. He was filled with envy.
Then he decided to pray for his brothers in the Lord. “The only way I can
conquer my feelings was to pray for them” he writes. “as I pray for Mr.
Spurgeon on the right hand side of my church God bless him or for my other
brother, Campbell Morgan the other side of my church God bless him: I am sure
to get the blessing from the overflow of their cups fills my little bucket.”
If you want
to win over envy, pray for that person. If they are a braggart you can probably
be right to assume there is something lacking in their own soul that only God
can fill and they are happy they way they are.
Phil 2 reminds us to have this same mind which is in Jesus Christ. Be like him in every way. Now he did not get his reputation by what he owned on earth even though he owned it all. It didn’t make difference what people thought of him only his father who was in heaven. He realized death was only something passing he would get up again and tells us for all who believed in him and received him as their savior and Lord they will get up again also. When the Holy Spirit comes into our lives we are changed people and God is good in relating to others regardless of their status or abilities or acquisitions. Don’t let others be your model, but Jesus. The humble person is not an envious person. A loving person is not a spiteful person. A servant isn’t one who is downgrading of another.
There is only one way to allow the Christ likeness to be
more evident and that is in being filled with the Spirit, in our growing
relationship with God by prayer and reading of the word. We do acts of good
service toward others and let God be the focus of our praise. For if you come
right down to it. Envy only happens when others get in the way of our focus
from Jesus. When we are filled with Him we forget about the others and become a
blessing to ourselves and others. That is a cure for envy.
Pastor Dale
