Sermon Nuggets Mon Nov 12
Gen 38
Matters of Lust and Love
Every Valentine’s
Day there is be a big push to buy things
for the love of your life: cards, candy, flowers, dinner or more intimate
appeal. There are many that get the message confused over love or sex.
The message our society gives is
loud and clear. If you love someone of the opposite sex you express that
sexually. It doesn’t make any difference
if you are married or not. The Henry J.
Kaiser Family Foundation monitors social mores, said sexual content featured in
two-thirds of all television shows increases dramatically every year. A U of California professor did the study but
even this is 10 years ago.
``Every time there is sex on TV,
there is an opportunity to deliver useful information to young people,'' said
Kaiser Family Foundation Vice president Victoria Rideout. ``While some shows
are taking advantage of that opportunity, 9 out of 10 do not.” Clearly, 80% of the TV couples engaging
in sexual intercourse are unmarried.
I am not sure we need an official study to tell us that
Television programming makes us believe that various sexual exploits are normal
and common and acceptable. It is not even a matter of just turning off the
television set if you want to guard yourself or your families from material.
As a pastor I am not ashamed to say
I have a pretty tame life. As I hope you would expect I find it wise to
minimize temptation rather than feed it. I don’t subscribe to things that are
questionable, I seek to visit websites that would be family approved, so
imagine my surprise to discover how easily pornographic material is advertised
on my bulk email. I could easily and innocently click in the privacy of my room
that which would lead me to adult material plenty of it for free. Even the
installation of Netnanny and other internet controlled browsers which I
strongly recommend for Christian families can’t keep up with the fasted growing
business of the year- internet pornography. All the free stuff entices men to visit
pornographic pay sites, or phone calls and so forth. I am discouraged.
I am
discouraged when unsolicited and not once ordering any material of sexual
content to find in my regular mail box advertisement for some of the raunchiest
material. How does a young man keep his life pure? The Bible says Ps 119 by
living according to the Word of God.
I hope you don’t misunderstand what I am saying. By God’s
grace, not by my own flesh, God has allowed me to hit the delete button without
opening up the letters. After first discovering what one of those blank
envelopes has in them, I can throw them away without opening them up. I did
return one asking to be removed from the list. We’ll see if that happens. There
are many brothers in the ministry that by such temptations have become addicted
to pornographic material. Industry knows it has most men hooked by such
solicitations. People know lots and lots of money is made off this sin.
I want to take these next two weeks
talking about the subject of sexuality and temptations as we continue in our
series on Genesis. The story today is of Judah whose compromises destroy his
whole family and own life. Chapter 39 as we will see next week is contrasted
with Joseph who seeks to keep his life pure.
God is trying to show us the
difference between needs and misdirected desires, the difference between lust sex
and love.
Pastor Dale
Sermon Nuggets Tues Nov 13 Sexual Attraction
Gen 38:1-5 At that time, Judah left his brothers and
went down to stay with a man of Adullam named Hirah. 2 There
Judah met the daughter of a Canaanite man named Shua. He married her and
lay with her; 3 she became pregnant and gave birth
to a son, who was named Er. 4 She conceived again
and gave birth to a son and named him Onan. 5 She
gave birth to still another son and named him Shelah. It was at Kezib that
she gave birth to him.
Sexual Attraction
Isaac learned about God from Abraham, Jacob
learned from Isaac, Judah learned from Jacob, but there is no mention of God or
divine influence in the marriage or raising of Judah’s sons who were so wicked
God took their lives.
Judah’s troubles began when he left
his home and Godly influences to go to a foreign country. He stayed with his
friend Hirah, an Adullamite. While with Hirah, Judah saw a certain Canaanite
woman whose name is never given. I take it from the fact that stress is laid on
Judah’s seeing this woman that her outward appearance is what attracted him,
not her faith or character, as a wife. Since this seems to have been
influential in Jacob’s selection of a wife, we need not be surprised at this.
It was a purely physical choice. Certainly no spiritual considerations were
taken into account.
He lay with her as his wife and eventually
they have three sons. While in Canaan the same words used for the rape of his
sister Dinah are used for the way Judah finds a wife. Nothing is mentioned
about anything of their relationships except sexual one.
As we have mentioned before the
concern over marrying someone from a foreign nation wasn’t a matter of race,
but of religion. Ruth was a Moabite, who converted and with the blessing of God
married Boaz. It is a great love story. Moses married a foreign woman,
Zipporah, but both followed God. There
are examples in the Bible of Gentiles and Jews who are Christians marrying, but
where you have trouble is when a Christian and a non Christian marry each
other. You have a mixed marriage. You have a divided household.
Judah let
other attractions lead his life, not Gods will. That, unfortunately, is not
unusual among many Christians today. Some who call themselves Christians (they
have a Christian background and Christian perspectives on many issues), act in
the same way Judah acted here. They go about their daily affairs, relying on
their own insight and intuition and ignoring what part God would want to play
in their lives.
2 Cor. 6:14-16 Do not be yoked
together with unbelievers”
The Bible speaks plainly about the
dangers of close relationships with those who do not share our faith. There is
very good reason for this. When we are involved in a "mixed marriage"
or partnership of any kind, an erosion of our own faith is inevitable. In a
desire to "get along" with the non-believer we inevitably soften our
own commitment.
There is no better illustration of this than with Solomon.
Solomon was the wisest man in the Bible (outside of Jesus) but he still drifted
away from God. Why? It was because of his marriages to foreign women. Each
foreign woman he married had religious beliefs that were different from him. So,
to appease and show respect for his wife, he built a place of worship for her.
Most relationships begin with physical attraction. From
about Junior High age on one gender becomes aware of the other gender and it is
very good. God made it that way. But to build any relationship based on
physical attraction is dangerous to your future. Commit your life to God and
ask him to lead you to the right person and in his will he will lead. Look at
the beauty God gave to Abraham and to Isaac, and even to Jacob, it is worth it.
Pastor Dale
Sermon Nuggets Weds Nov 14 Sexual Abuse
Genesis 38: : 6 Judah got a wife for
Er, his firstborn, and her name was Tamar. 7 But
Er, Judah’s firstborn, was wicked in the Lord’s sight; so the Lord put
him to death.
8 Then Judah said to Onan, “Lie with
your brother’s wife and fulfill your duty to her as a brother-in-law to produce
offspring for your brother.” 9 But Onan knew that
the offspring would not be his; so whenever he lay with his brother’s wife, he
spilled his semen on the ground to keep from producing offspring for his
brother. 10 What he did was wicked in
the Lord’s sight; so he put him to death also.
Sexual Abuse
Unfortunately,
when Jacob found a wife, Tamar, for his eldest son, his wickedness was so
offensive to God he died. Now we get into a complicated part of the story. I am
glad this rule is seen today as inferior to Gods’ greater plan in marriage and
that we have a means of taking care of families of the deceased with rights,
insurance, and provision. That was not the case for widows and orphans back
then.
The rule in the Old Testament culture was if the eldest
brother died without having offspring the next oldest was to marry the widow
and raise up the children in the name and inheritance of the eldest. Onan was
next in line and Tamar was given to him to be his wife, only he resented the
fact that legally the heirs would carry on the brother’s name.
The Bible
reads this way, “so whenever he lay with his brother's wife, he spilled his
semen on the ground to keep from producing offspring for his brother.” Kind of
blunt isn’t it? This was a means of birth control I suppose. Through the years
many girls found themselves pregnant when boyfriends practiced this method of
birth control. I call it abuse. He uses the girl for sexual reasons not for
love. The intent of Onan to use her but not for love but for sex, not for her
benefit, but his. He fulfills his sexual duty for the family but abuses that
relationship toward Tamar so she will not have a child. He uses her body but
refuses her “honor” as presented in that culture.
What he did was wicked in the Lord's
sight; so he put him to death also. What was wicked? Some have tried to make
this passage the proof text for banning any method of birth control. I don’t
agree with that interpretation. Onan didn’t do what was honorable, but what was
selfish. Not only did Onan sin against his father and Tamar, but he sinned
primarily against his dead brother. Onan put his own personal interests above
his brother’s inability to continue the family line. Birth control (or any act,
for that matter) is evil if it is motivated by self-seeking and if it is
clearly an act of disobedience. “Whatever is not of faith is sin” (Romans
14:23) must be one standard by which we measure our every action.
There is
appropriate use of sex and abuse of sex. The very act of sex is instituted and
planned of God. Some people think that there is not connection between God and
the bedroom except the “Thou Shalt nots”. Our sexuality and desires were planned
by God. Sexuality reflects the image of God. It has to do with permanent and
holy relationships blessed by the Lord. We, unlike an animal act, can think,
imagine, responds and interact. We can communicate with God and with each
other. For sex to be the use of a body only is nothing short of abuse of God’s
plan. What Onan did was not sexuality according to Gods’ plan.
Our bodies are to be shared openly
with our spouses in marriage. God’s plan of becoming one with each other is not
for recreation, but for endearing relationships. Sex works best when a husband’s
focus is on adoring and affirm his wife and connecting with her emotionally as
well as physically. That was not the way Onan treated Tamar. The New Testament
tells us that our bodies also belong to our spouses and that marriage is to be
held in honor among all and the marriage bed to be undefiled.”
There are many restrictions in the Bible
regarding extramarital sexual involvement, but there are no “do’s and don’ts”
for sexual activity within marriage except to love and to honor one another.
This is important to distinguish between lust driven sexuality that is based on
mankind’s sinful, self seeking nature and healthy, enthusiastic sharing of such
desires in marriage. As we share the way God designed marriage to be we become
vulnerable with each other and experience a deep sense of warmth and closeness
with our spouses.
Now we in our society have taken what God has said which is
good and abused that in so many ways by selfishness. We treat women as play
things, and men as toys. We have seen the abuses of children through incest and
molestations. We have seen degrading of dating to rape and gang rape, and
homosexual activities have in the name of the law. We have unrestricted sex resulting in killing of
unwanted babies through abortions and emotional neglect of women. So many girls
are used by men having their sexual lusts met they discard them as used paper.
The self-esteem of the woman is devastated.
My wife is
a school nurse. She has told me some stories that girls are telling her in
private that would make your blood boil. The abuses of sex today have a
profound effect for years and years to come on families yet to be. All of this
could be prevented if people would seek God and follow his word in obedience
and love.
God saw
that Onan was using her physically, but not in love or honor, but as a body.
How else she may have been abused we do not know, but why would God take Onan’s
life while so many who do sexual violent acts still live? The only answer I
have is this serves as a warning that God delights in holiness and judges
wickedness, in His time.
Pastor Dale
Sermon Nuggets Thurs Nov 15 Manipulation
Gen 38: 11 Judah then said to his
daughter-in-law Tamar, “Live as a widow in your father’s
house until my son Shelah grows up.” For he thought, “He may die
too, just like his brothers.” So Tamar went to live in her father’s house.
12 After a long time Judah’s wife,
the daughter of Shua, died. When Judah had recovered from his grief, he
went up to Timnah, to the men who were shearing his sheep, and his
friend Hirah the Adullamite went with him.
13 When Tamar was told, “Your
father-in-law is on his way to Timnah to shear his sheep,” 14 she
took off her widow’s clothes, covered herself with a veil to disguise
herself, and then sat down at the entrance to Enaim, which is on the road
to Timnah. For she saw that, though Shelah had now grown up, she had
not been given to him as his wife.
15 When Judah saw her, he thought she
was a prostitute, for she had covered her face. 16 Not
realizing that she was his daughter-in-law, he went over to her by
the roadside and said, “Come now, let me sleep with you.”
“And what will you give me to sleep with you?” she
asked.
17 “I’ll send you a young
goat from my flock,” he said.
“Will you give me something as a pledge until you send
it?” she asked.
18 He said, “What pledge should I
give you?”
“Your seal and its cord, and the staff in your
hand,” she answered. So he gave them to her and slept with her, and she became
pregnant by him. 19 After she left, she took off
her veil and put on her widow’s clothes again.
Sexual Manipulation
Judah had two sons who were now
dead. He was thinking maybe Tamar is the reason the Lord is taking their lives.
Does he want to risk another son if he were to marry her? It never seemed to
occur to him that it was his sons who were the problem, not Tamar. So he will
care for her, but told her to live as a widow and wait for son number 3 to be
of age.
In the course of time Judah's wife
died. He was grief stricken. As a single man again he went about his work. He
went to another city to shear sheep. Someone told Tamar her father-in-law was
there. She had a plan. She took off her widow's clothes, covered herself with a
veil to disguise herself, and then sat down at the entrance to Enaim, which is
on the road to Timnah. The third son by now had grown up and yet Judah never
gave him to her to wed. This part of the bargain was not kept.
In her
society not only were the younger brothers able to marry their brothers widow
without children, but since Judah was now single he could do the same
thing. Tamar determined to force the
matter by becoming pregnant by her father in law. Judah was wrong in withholding Shelah, but so
was Tamar by taking these matters into her own hands.
She didn’t just dress up to
disguise herself she painted her self up and wore the clothes of a prostitute.
When Judah came by she used her womanly charms to have him pay for her sexual
favors.He went over to her by the roadside and said, "Come now, let me
sleep with you." He propositioned her. Her plan was working. They agreed
upon the price. But she wanted something she could prove it was Judah who came
on to her.
The seal, cord, and staff each had
distinctive characteristics, which were peculiar to the owner. The seal was the
ancient cylinder seal used in the making of contracts. It was the counterpart
of our charge cards today. Each cylinder had a unique design of its owner
carved in it. When a contract was made, hot wax was put on the document and the
seal was rolled over it, leaving the impression of the owner of the seal.
She was veiled and then in a dark
area so Judah did not see her face and he was not interested in who she was or
what she looked like, she was just the body to sleep with. In that one night
experience she became pregnant by him.
Sex is a power thing. It is used to
sell, to capture the attention of men. Beautiful and scantly clothed woman will
pose in variety of ways to captures men’s interests to manipulate attention
sometimes it is to buy all kinds of items, magazines, cars, watch XFL football
shows, sell perfumes, and houses and you name it women have been used to
manipulate buyers. Wives have also used sex and not love to get their husbands
to do what they want, or get them what they want. A common means of manipulation over men is withholding
sexual involvement until they get their way. That is also abuse of the
relationship for selfish purposes. Many women use sex as a tool of manipulation
and not love which, like before, cheapens the expression of love and tenderness,
of appreciation and procreation which God had intended.
Tamar got what she wanted and used
clothes, perfumes, and sex to get it.
Our news stories are filled on TV
internet and paper with the sexual scandals affecting the highest of ranking in
the military. They men admit foolish decisions that jeopardize their marriages,
reputation and career. We do not know who pursued whom. But appropriate
concerns are raised to see if encounters were used to get and sell information
of national security. Sexual manipulation has been to get what others want. It
was not the way God intended it to be.
There is a difference between lust
and love and we confuse the two and trade what is wonderful for married couple for
immediate pleasures and cheap thrills and unwanted consequences.
Pastor Dale
Sermon Nuggets Fri
Nov 16 Lusts
Gen 38: 15 When Judah saw her, he
thought she was a prostitute, for she had covered her face. 16 Not
realizing that she was his daughter-in-law, he went over to her by
the roadside and said, “Come now, let me sleep with you.”
“And what will you give me to sleep with you?” she
asked.
17 “I’ll send you a young
goat from my flock,” he said.
…..20 Meanwhile Judah sent the young
goat by his friend the Adullamite in order to get his pledge back
from the woman, but he did not find her. 21 He
asked the men who lived there, “Where is the shrine prostitute who was
beside the road at Enaim?”
“There hasn’t been any shrine prostitute here,” they said.
22 So he went back to Judah and said,
“I didn’t find her. Besides, the men who lived there said, ‘There hasn’t been
any shrine prostitute here.’”
23 Then Judah said, “Let her keep
what she has, or we will become a laughingstock. After all, I did
send her this young goat, but you didn’t find her.”
When this encounter ended, Judah
and Tamar went their separate ways. Later hi friend was sent to pay the
prostitute and retrieve the items which Judah had given her. He asked for the
whereabouts of the “temple prostitute”. Prostitution was a part of the Canaanite
worship of the god of fertility. Judah was having more than an affair that
fulfilled his physical lusts, but as far as the culture was concerned was
participating in a ritual of worship to fertility god of the temple prostitute
with whom men would have sex to somehow bless their own sheep so many ewes were
have many lambs. Not finding the “temple prostitute” and, worse yet, being told
that there was no such person to be found, placed Judah in a very awkward and
potentially embarrassing position.
She wasn’t motivated by lust, but wanting a child. Judah
was motivated by lust and greed. Seemly superstitious he was also protecting
his younger son from marrying Tamar since two sons died. Lust is getting what
we want. It is seeking to have our desires met. Apparently Judah was feeling
guilty and wanting to cover up his sin. Here's a principle for you: If you feel
you need to hide what you are doing . . . what you are doing is probably wrong!
And the longer you hide the further you drift.
A young man (or woman) watches
suggestive shows on prime time television. Before long it doesn't "bother
him." In other words it no longer seems dangerous or inappropriate. So he
pushes a little further. He starts watching movies that don't just suggest
immoral behavior, they show it. It easily grows from there to more and more
involved sexual interests. Most immoral behavior begins in what people think
are innocent and commonly accepted entertainment. The world will always toy
with as much sin as they can "get away with". We should expect that,
but guard against it.
Frank was a young man with a lovely
wife of five years. They had a child. He came to his pastor and confessed, “I
didn’t intend for it to happen. There was this one night stand affair with a
young woman at work. Recently, there hasn’t been anything at home. His wife had
been so preoccupied with kids she just doesn’t have time for romance anymore.
She’s been too tired and to be interested since the baby came. But I didn’t
mean for this to happen. I’ve really messed up, I don’t know what to do. This
will kill her. I couldn’t bear to lose her and the kids I can’t believe what
I’ve done.” A moment of weakness is all it takes when lust gives full birth to
sin and another family is destroyed.
Unfortunately one of the leading
articles in the local paper this week was of a nice young man from a nice
Christian home hired on at a school to be a teacher and coach. He was married
and had a promising future until lust too over. His contact with one of his students
has ruined his dreams and reputation. It takes so little to be led down a path
that destroys.
Also in the news is of one of my
pastoral friends who coming out of homosexual tendencies was put in tempting
situations and his position as a counselor cause him to compromise his witness,
testimony, position, and reputation. Lust kills.
TV and movies makes it look so much
fun. We are bombarded with entertainment that appeals to our lusts and mocks
Biblical values.
Satan has taken the lie of lust and
the looseness of the morals of our society and produced at great expense
divorce, AIDS abortions, unwanted pregnancies, and adultery. God warned often
in the Bible when you live like the world and are a child of God you will
suffer. All of these sexual sins were common in the surrounding culture of his
day but God’s people were to live distinguished lives not giving in to lusts of
flesh but to the desire of pure relationships which meet our longing according
to God’s blessings. Lust occurs when we become more focused on temporary
physical pleasure than finding our satisfactions in the design and desires of
God.
Pastor Dale
Sermon Nuggets Sat Nov 17 Discrimination
Gen 38: 24 About three months later
Judah was told, “Your daughter-in-law Tamar is guilty of prostitution, and as a
result she is now pregnant.”
Judah said, “Bring her out and have her burned to death!”
25 As she was being brought out, she
sent a message to her father-in-law. “I am pregnant by the man who owns these,”
she said. And she added, “See if you recognize whose seal and cord and staff
these are.”
26 Judah recognized them and said,
“She is more righteous than I, since I wouldn’t give her to my son
Shelah.” And he did not sleep with her again.
Sexual Discrimination
Now the story comes out that Tamar is
pregnant and Judah, the father in law is so angry that he is ready to have her
put to death. As she was brought up for judgment, she sent Judah a message.
“Here are the items of the one who impregnated me.” There were the things that
he left and now realized what had happened. He was the one who was caught in
the act. She had a right to marry him and he didn’t fulfill his vows.
What is upsetting is the hypocrisy
of the double standard. This happens a lot in sexual discrimination you know.
It was wrong for her to have illicit sex, but not wrong for me. It is okay to
have her put to death, but as long as I don’t get caught I’m innocent.
It may have even been possible that Judah saw this as the
solution to a problem of not having to give her to his youngest son.
What a shock this must have been to
Judah to be faced with his own guilt and sin. He had to say of this woman, “She
is more righteous than I” (26). She didn’t treat him the way he treated her. He
does not say she is more righteous than he in the matter of the immorality
committed, but in that she acted so as to procure a son that was rightfully
hers, while Judah refused to give her Shelah as he had promised.
When President Clinton was caught
in the acts of inappropriateness sexually with Monica Lewinski there were all
types of denials until the evidence was produced and he was forced to admit his
sin and his lying. At first there was outrage made by some of the senators and
congressmen talked about his affair. It was only later that some of these men
were guilty of similar actions. It was okay to judge the president as long as
no one knew their secret.
It seems ironic of the popular
outcry of two Generals who were prominent and now the director of the CIA lost
his job over inappropriate sexual affairs, but what do we feed our nation on
each and every night. Women are exploited as sexual toys. You will see that
more even on ads coming into the Christmas season. I have boycotted Hardees for
the way they directly target young teens with sensual portrayals to get people
to buy hamburgers.
Why is it the girl is punished, but
boys will be boys? That is hypocritical. Why is the girl responsible for how
far a couple goes on a date? It is just as much the boy’s responsibility if not
more so.
Sometimes discrimination at the
work place against women especially have caused all kinds of laws suits. Equal
work with equal pay is just as it should be. Women and men should expect work
without harassment because a person’s gender. Each gender should be respected
and honored, and treated as a brother and a sister, and not objects of sexual
innuendos and language that causes embarrassment.
If Christ were in the work place
where you worked, or neighborhood or school, how do you think he would treat
females? If Jesus were in your conversations with the boys what types of jokes
would he made or laugh at. Is it sex or love is an alternative that is far
reaching not just with our spouses, but with the way our society calls us to
live and the way Jesus calls us to live.
We are not our own we have been
bought with a price, therefore glorify God in our bodies I Cor 6
Tama gave birth to twin boys. Perez
and Zerah. Since the twin that was first to emerge from the womb traditionally
possessed the rights of the firstborn, some kind of identifying mark was placed
on the first to issue from the womb. When one of the boys thrust out a hand, a
scarlet thread was tied about it, assuming that he would shortly come forth.
The hand was withdrawn, however, and the firstborn was the other boy As later
genealogies will prove, this firstborn son, Perez, was to be the son of Judah
who would carry on the messianic line until the time of David, and ultimately,
of Jesus (cf. Ruth 4:12; Matthew 1:3).
God in his glory shows his grace
and choose Judah to be the line of the Messiah and the line of Tamar to be the
offspring and ancestry of Jesus Christ. This is Christ’s family. Sexual sin, it
should be pointed out here, and as is obvious by how this tale ends, is not the
unforgivable sin. Failure in this area can always be forgiven. The Lord can
even redeem our bad choices if we are like Judah, if we honestly admit to our
wrongdoing, allow ourselves to be ministered to, and if we thereafter purpose
to seek to live righteously
In Jacob’s day, as in our own, the same basic issues are at stake. The family was under attack, as the
church is today, on two major fronts. The first is in the area of purity and
separation. Judah eagerly committed the sin for which he (or at least his
brothers) put an entire city to the sword. He married a Canaanite and would
have had sexual relations with a cult prostitute. Today our children are facing
incredible pressure to conform to the world around them, to date and marry
unbelievers, and to forsake the faith they have learned from their family.
Separation from the world is especially important in the matter of the friends
that we choose.
The second front in Satan’s attack
on the family and the church is the matter of unity and brotherly love.
Joseph’s brothers had no brotherly love and no essential unity. Judah’s son
Onan had no sense of obligation to his deceased brother and was motivated only
by self-interest and selfish ambition. So far as he was concerned, it did not
matter if Tamar ever had a child, but God had determined that she would be the
one through whom the Messiah would come.
Perhaps some of you identify with Judah
and Tamar because you feel you have made a mess of your life. You made bad
decisions. You knowingly went down a wrong path. You sinned in horrible ways
and have concluded that God could never love you or do anything through you. I
hope you will be encouraged. The God who forgave them will forgive you. The God
who transformed them will transform you. The God who used them can use you. It
doesn't matter where you have been. It doesn't matter what you have done. What
matters is where you turn now.
Another son of Jacob handles a second
incident involving sexual temptation very differently. That is our topic for
next week.
Pastor Dale
