Options in Conflict Genesis 31

Sermon Nuggets Mon Oct 1 

Gen 31:1 Jacob heard that Laban’s sons were saying, “Jacob has taken everything our father owned and has gained all this wealth from what belonged to our father.” ² And Jacob noticed that Laban’s attitude toward him was not what it had been.

Options in Conflict                            

            Conflict is inevitable. People who work together, go to school together, live in apartments or neighborhoods near other, and in families will sooner or later find conflict. There will be differences of opinions. There may be irritations over animals, garbage, or noise. People might just be plain jealous and that can cause for conflict.

           

I think the hardest conflicts come among church people. We should know how to resolve differences better because of the Biblical principles and the Holy Spirit. However, when it comes to more issues than doctrine and interpretation it is a sad commentary on the church for centuries of fighting among denominations, and sadder still for the history of church splits. Pastors are sometimes fired for minor differences of opinions with a powerful church member. People find it easier to leave a church than work through issues over which they may not agree. Some reason, why deal with tension when you don’t have to? But sooner or later you will be in conflict with someone.

            Someone said you can pick your friends and pick your nose, but you cannot pick your family. It’s true. Of course we know about the sibling rivalry between Jacob and Esau. We know of the marital conflict between Isaac and Rekebah. There is racial conflict between Jews and Gentiles. Some of the most difficult conflict comes between in-laws.

Benjamin Franklin said relatives and fish both start to stink after 3 days. I don’t know how Jacob and Laban, son in law and father in law, could last 20 years together. I know that in that culture it was not uncommon for extended families to live and work together. But when Jacob became prosperous it no longer worked. Jealousy with the in-laws showed it’s ugly head. Jacob wanted his freedom. He didn’t want to be under the obligation of his father-in-law anymore. He wanted freedom. He wanted independence.

How we deal with conflict is not just a personal matter. It can affect many people and relatives.

As we talk about options in conflict this week, pray about a situation that you might be facing at home, work, church or school. What would God have you do to honor Him? How might you prayerfully proceed?

Pastor Dale

Sermon Nuggets Tues Oct 2 

Gen 31: ³ Then the Lord said to Jacob, “Go back to the land of your fathers and to your relatives, and I will be with you.”

⁴ So Jacob sent word to Rachel and Leah to come out to the fields where his flocks were. ⁵ He said to them, “I see that your father’s attitude toward me is not what it was before, but the God of my father has been with me. ⁶ You know that I’ve worked for your father with all my strength, ⁷ yet your father has cheated me by changing my wages ten times. However, God has not allowed him to harm me. ⁸ If he said, ‘The speckled ones will be your wages,’ then all the flocks gave birth to speckled young; and if he said, ‘The streaked ones will be your wages,’ then all the flocks bore streaked young. ⁹ So God has taken away your father’s livestock and has given them to me.

¹⁰ “In breeding season I once had a dream in which I looked up and saw that the male goats mating with the flock were streaked, speckled or spotted. ¹¹ The angel of God said to me in the dream, ‘Jacob.’ I answered, ‘Here I am.’ ¹² And he said, ‘Look up and see that all the male goats mating with the flock are streaked, speckled or spotted, for I have seen all that Laban has been doing to you. ¹³ I am the God of Bethel, where you anointed a pillar and where you made a vow to me. Now leave this land at once and go back to your native land.’”

¹⁴ Then Rachel and Leah replied, “Do we still have any share in the inheritance of our father’s estate? ¹⁵ Does he not regard us as foreigners? Not only has he sold us, but he has used up what was paid for us. ¹⁶ Surely all the wealth that God took away from our father belongs to us and our children. So do whatever God has told you.”

¹⁷ Then Jacob put his children and his wives on camels, ¹⁸ and he drove all his livestock ahead of him, along with all the goods he had accumulated in Paddan Aram, to go to his father Isaac in the land of Canaan.

¹⁹ When Laban had gone to shear his sheep, Rachel stole her father’s household gods. ²⁰ Moreover, Jacob deceived Laban the Aramean by not telling him he was running away. ²¹ So he fled with all he had, and crossing the River, he headed for the hill country of Gilead.

An Option to Leave

           

            Some people refuse to fight. They run. Some with conflict in marriages chose divorce, Conflict at work, they quit, conflict in neighborhoods they move.

            There were several factors which made Jacob consider the option of leaving to resolve the conflict. First, His brothers-in-law were complaining that he had become so wealthy at their fathers expenses. The more Jacob acquired, the less their inheritance. Jacob was upset that Laban had cheated him by changing his wages 10 times, but God had stepped in and made Jacob prosperous. All the doors were open.

Laban also was looking upon Jacob in a different way. When he was making money for Laban everything was fine. But when Jacob was making money for himself then friction grew. We see that Leah and Rachel were finally going to agree on something. They both felt their father had cheated them. They knew their future security would come from Jacob.

            But overriding this decision was the fact it was God’s will. Circumstances sometimes may seem to lead us to a certain course, but how many times do we pray about Gods’ leading in our moves and in our travels?  God promised to accompany Jacob with His protection. So in order to resolve their conflict it was decided that now is the time to leave. He would quit his job and move on with his family to the place of God’s promise.

           

It does not appear to be accidental that he departed at a time when Laban was busily occupied in shearing his flock. Leaving without any warning, Jacob reasoned, was the way to depart without any resistance from Laban, who might have refused to release Jacob’s wives or his flocks.

I think one of the hardest things many people face is determining Gods’ will  when it comes to such issues as leaving, moving, finding a new job, getting married, going to college. But take your vows to the Lord seriously, like marriage. In most cases it is God’s will to work on the relationship and commit to your spouse and not leave.

           

There are times when it is in God’s will for us to leave, move or resign. It may not be in conflict situations either. We know God’s will as a young person to stay under the home of our parents until school graduation, but when that freedom comes following the senior year to work, to stay at home, to go to school, to get married, go to college, or travel many serious about their faith will pray and pray and then express confusion and anxiety that they may not be in God’s will because there is not clear direction or peace.

           

Some of our decisions, though important, are taken as if we make the wrong turn we will be forever outside of God’s will and therefore blessing. I think to help determine Gods direction for decisions such as this include these four elements. First what is it that frustrates you about staying? There are always things that will frustrate you about staying. Bosses, friends, neighbors, pastors, church, all get under our skin after awhile. Is this an increasing anxiety or a passing mood? If you are not being treated fairly by an employer and the matter with discussions does not correct itself, aren't you glad that we live in a land and in an age where we can make the decision to leave and find different employment? Don’t make hasty decisions, but I don’t’ think 20 years working for the same unfair boss is hasty. In fact, being his father in law will bring added sense of stress, just as working with your family can be a delight, but can add to stress because of the complexities of the relationships that affect wives, husbands, parents, grand-kids, brothers and sisters in law, cousins and so forth.

           

Another point of decision is consider what is positive about the move. What attracted you to new change? Is it home? Is it love for family? Is it job opportunity? Is it advancement that you think is right with your interests and gifts? Does it excite you in positive ways? That is an important opened door. Don’t ask if it is only money, or short term gains, but does it seem right and positive. I know many pastors and churches that look for change because they don’t’ like what they have instead of getting positive of what they see as exciting possibilities for the future.

            There is a third consideration when moving and that is family unity. You can bet that if all the family agrees there is something of a miracle in and of itself. I know some moves are outside our control, A company may fire, or move someone against their will, and the kids and spouses may not want to move, but in time one has to face the family discussion and take into consideration each one’s feelings and inputs and pray that if it is of the Lord there would be cooperation if not agreement from everyone.

           

But ultimately there is the God factor which can be very clear or very unclear. If it is clear there is no problem with the decisions, but if it is unclear then after you have prayer and are sincere about being willing to go however God leads, then do what seems right for you now and God will direct you differently if that is not meant to be. Learn from your mistakes and see others, and talk with them about your options so that you are not blind to obstacles along the way.

           

God’s will for Jacobs was clear and encouraging- Go back to the land of your fathers and relatives and I will be with you.    Determining Gods’ will involved a desires; circumstances, and direction. The last is waiting on God.  Many people instead of facing problems run from them.

           

Pastor Dale

Sermon Nuggets Weds Oct 3 

Gen 31: 22-32²² On the third day Laban was told that Jacob had fled. ²³ Taking his relatives with him, he pursued Jacob for seven days and caught up with him in the hill country of Gilead. ²⁴ Then God came to Laban the Aramean in a dream at night and said to him, “Be careful not to say anything to Jacob, either good or bad.”

²⁵ Jacob had pitched his tent in the hill country of Gilead when Laban overtook him, and Laban and his relatives camped there too. ²⁶ Then Laban said to Jacob, “What have you done? You’ve deceived me, and you’ve carried off my daughters like captives in war. ²⁷ Why did you run off secretly and deceive me? Why didn’t you tell me, so I could send you away with joy and singing to the music of tambourines and harps? ²⁸ You didn’t even let me kiss my grandchildren and my daughters good-by. You have done a foolish thing. ²⁹ I have the power to harm you; but last night the God of your father said to me, ‘Be careful not to say anything to Jacob, either good or bad.’ ³⁰ Now you have gone off because you longed to return to your father’s house. But why did you stealmy gods?”

³¹ Jacob answered Laban, “I was afraid, because I thought you would take your daughters away from me by force. ³² But if you find anyone who has your gods, he shall not live. In the presence of our relatives, see for yourself whether there is anything of yours here with me; and if so, take it.” Now Jacob did not know that Rachel had stolen the gods.

An Option to Confront

When some are in conflict they confront the situation. They may attack, they may rebuke, they may argue, but they face the problem head on.

Jacob prepared his departure secretly, because he knew Laban. Each time he tried to make a deal that is recorded for us Laban pulled a fast one on him. So he quietly moved the flocks far out in the direction to home. He called his wives out and shared his intentions with them. He told them their father’s attitude toward him had changed. He reviewed the details of his long and faithful service and many attempt of Laban to cheat him. He then explained the drama that God had showed him which came about regarding the stripped and spotted animals.

            . When the report came to Laban about Jacob fleeing he took his relatives and chased him for 7 days until he caught up with him in the hill country of Gilead. It was the intent of Laban to handle this conflict with confrontation. He was going to go and perhaps discipline him, over-power him, take away the possessions by force. He probably was going to read him the riot act, but we know from vs 24 God appeared to him  that night in a dream to warn him against harming Jacob. He was not to say anything to him either good or bad. 

            Angry people like to confront. There is a place when wrongs are committed to confront. So much of confrontation is done in anger and not in the right spirit. When I am angry I want to deal with my emotion and confronting the situation and don’t even want to pray because I think I am right and don’t want to be confused with the facts. Do you ever feel that way?

            Well God spoke to Laban about his attitude and it appeared he was going to do more than give Jacob a big tongue lashing. So when the next day appears he greets him with a more calm spirit, but still lets him know that he feels he has been wronged.

            Laban's speech is self-serving. First, he seems to give the wounded father routine. "Woe is me," he says, "you have taken off with all my loved ones, my daughters and my grandchildren. Why didn't you tell me you wanted to leave? I would have had a going-away party for you, with music and dancing. How could you be so hardhearted?"

Leah and Rachel, however, were wise to his tricks by now. They stared back impassively at their whining father. The women were well aware of the price Jacob paid to acquire them. Laban should properly have used that money to provide a nest egg for them and their children, but instead he spent it all on himself.

So Laban next becomes the threatening muscle man. "It is in my power to do you great harm," he boasts. Intimidation is one way to gain power in a conflict. That’s Laban way.  Now he is trying to say you should be afraid of me, this I can do to you, however, God had told me to keep his hands off of Jacob and his family.

Then Laban next takes on the guise of a victim: "Why ever did you steal my household gods?" he whines. What a manipulator!

At last, Jacob stands up to Laban and answers his uncle with openness and courage. He was unaware that anyone in his entourage had stolen anything from Laban, and welcomes his uncle to have a look around.

Well maybe Jacob is learning a bit how to confront the very man he most feared. We must realize that it was God who had given Jacob the courage to stand up to Laban. There are times when God wants us to be unpopular in order to confront evil, or stand for morality, or point out injustice. Jacob’s confronts the situation with what he understood the truth to be. He was not the least bit interested in the idols, unless it might have been to destroy them, so he allowed for his tent and possessions to be searched. Rachel had hidden them in her camel’s saddle and was sitting on it. Rachel apologized to her father for not getting up to pay him the respect due to her father, but stated that she couldn't because she was having her monthly period.”

            What Jacob did not know was that Rachel had stolen Laban’s gods just before they departed. Many speculations are made concerning Rachel's motives, but the reason best supported by the text and by archaeology is that Rachel stole the household gods in order to establish a future claim on Laban’s family inheritance. The household gods were a token of rightful claim to the possessions and the headship of the family. Rachel must have felt justified in stealing these gods and in expecting to share in the family inheritance. Rachel may well have had some ties in with pagan idol worship, like her father, but the fact that possession of them could strengthen ones claim to the inheritance According to commentary by Derek Kidner. If Jacob got away with his gods, he could someday return and make a claim to his estate.

Pastor Dale

Sermon Nuggets Thurs Oct 4 –

Gen 31: ³⁶ Jacob was angry and took Laban to task. “What is my crime?” he asked Laban. “What sin have I committed that you hunt me down? ³⁷ Now that you have searched through all my goods, what have you found that belongs to your household? Put it here in front of your relatives and mine, and let them judge between the two of us.

³⁸ “I have been with you for twenty years now. Your sheep and goats have not miscarried, nor have I eaten rams from your flocks.³⁹ I did not bring you animals torn by wild beasts; I bore the loss myself. And you demanded payment from me for whatever was stolen by day or night. ⁴⁰ This was my situation: The heat consumed me in the daytime and the cold at night, and sleep fled from my eyes. ⁴¹ It was like this for the twenty years I was in your household. I worked for you fourteen years for your two daughtersand six years for your flocks, and you changed my wages ten times. ⁴² If the God of my father, the God of Abraham and the Fear of Isaac, had not been with me, you would surely have sent me away empty-handed. But God has seen my hardship and the toil of my hands, and last night he rebuked you.”

An Option to Explain

            In Matthew 18 when there is something between brothers in Christ, our Lord says go and talk with each other to explain things and ask forgiveness if needed. We often think we know the facts, but it is good to listen to both sides, and hear what each says.

Jacob now explained things from his point of view. I appreciate his honesty by saying he sneaked away because he was a afraid. What was he afraid of? If God assured him of his presence, But I’ve been there. I believe God is doing to do something, but get caught up in the circumstances and forget the promise.

            He was saying it as it was these past twenty years. He pointed out to him that Laban had gotten the better of the deal in every way . He ended his conversation by saying “If the God of my father the God of Abraham and the fear of Isaac, had not been for me, surely now you would have sent me away empty-handed.” He was not going to give any credit to Laban for his wealth, but in spite of Laban God honored Jacob with more flocks and finer servants.

When you are treated unfairly you can leave, you can confront or you can explain.

It was unfair that he had to work fourteen years for the wife he had agreed to work seven years for. It was unfair that Laban profited but Jacob did not share in the profit. It was unfair that Laban changed his wages a number of times after he agrees to give him the stripped, spotted and black lambs. Sometimes evil people prosper. Sometimes good people (relatively speaking) suffer. Some people try to do the right thing and are taken advantage of. Some are con artists yet hear the applause of the crowd. But we must never forget our concept of fair and God's are different. God sees the big picture He is good.

In that movie The Karate Kid Mr. Miyagi is asked to teach Daniel karate. Daniel has been the victim of the bullies in the neighborhood. He wants revenge so he is eager to learn. So, in their first lesson Mr. Miyagi has Daniel paint the fence. The next lesson he has him wax his car ("wax on, wax off"). Daniel gets frustrated. While others are learning kicks and jabs, Daniel has painted a fence, waxed a car, swept a floor and tried to catch a fly with chop sticks. Daniel feels that he is being cheated. It's not fair! He says. But Mr. Miyagi had a plan. He was teaching Daniel basic Karate moves by these exercises and was teaching him to concentrate. He was learning and didn't even know it. And as Hollywood would have it, Daniel comes out the champion and wins the karate fight.

            I wonder if sometimes we face situations like Daniel. We may feel that God has turned a deaf ear to us. We cry for justice and God tells us to "paint a fence". "It's not fair!" we say. But, remember my friend, don't draw conclusions until the story is over. Your pain and frustration comes from your inability to see the big picture. In those "unfair" times we must trust that the hand of God is working in unseen ways for our ultimate good. Jacob may have felt like he was being treated unfairly . . .but God was shaping him.

            Notice Jacob's defense: He did nothing wrong. Jacob was the model worker. He took care of the sheep; he absorbed losses; he withstood terrible weather. Notice Laban does not disagree with Jacob. His son in law agreed to serve for seven years, and did so. He agreed to serve another seven and did. He said he would only take the spotted, stripped and black of the flock and a quick look at the flock would tell you that this is what he had done and no more. Most employers cannot say that of their companies. Thievery on the job is a major problem. Many workers participate in unethical behavior. Or bosses that learn to cutting corners on quality control, or cover up incidents lied to or deceived customers.

Ted Engstrom has said, "Integrity is not only the way one thinks but even more the way one acts. Simply put, integrity is doing what you said you would do. It is as basic as keeping your word, fulfilling your promises."

            Having gotten his years of frustration off his chest, Jacob explained that it wasn’t because of any favors from Laban, but rather God blessed him. God had seen his affliction, it was true  but Jacob added his part, the toil of my hands. The warning which God had issued to Laban  previously was proof to Jacob that God was on his side. .

Laban was a covetous man who knew about God in the life of Jacob and before that, in the witness of the servant of Abraham when his sister when back to marry Isaac. He enjoyed many of the blessing of God but continued in idolatry and covetousness seeking material things. He left with nothing.

Pastor Dale

Sermon Nuggets Fri Oct 5 – 

Gen 31: ⁴³ Laban answered Jacob, “The women are my daughters, the children are my children, and the flocks are my flocks. All you see is mine. Yet what can I do today about these daughters of mine, or about the children they have borne? ⁴⁴ Come now, let’s make a covenant, you and I, and let it serve as a witness between us.”

⁴⁵ So Jacob took a stone and set it up as a pillar. ⁴⁶ He said to his relatives, “Gather some stones.” So they took stones and piled them in a heap, and they ate there by the heap. ⁴⁷ Laban called it Jegar Sahadutha, and Jacob called it Galeed.

⁴⁸ Laban said, “This heap is a witness between you and me today.” That is why it was called Galeed. ⁴⁹ It was also called Mizpah,because he said, “May the Lord keep watch between you and me when we are away from each other. ⁵⁰ If you mistreat my daughters or if you take any wives besides my daughters, even though no one is with us, remember that God is a witnessbetween you and me.”

⁵¹ Laban also said to Jacob, “Here is this heap, and here is this pillar I have set up between you and me. ⁵² This heap is a witness, and this pillar is a witness, that I will not go past this heap to your side to harm you and that you will not go past this heap and pillar to my side to harm me. ⁵³ May the God of Abraham and the God of Nahor, the God of their father, judge between us.”

So Jacob took an oath in the name of the Fear of his father Isaac. ⁵⁴ He offered a sacrifice there in the hill country and invited his relatives to a meal. After they had eaten, they spent the night there.

⁵⁵ Early the next morning Laban kissed his grandchildren and his daughters and blessed them. Then he left and returned home.

An Option for Peace.

            Laban didn't back down from his claims of ownership over his daughters, grandchildren and flocks, but he did recognize that his daughters did have a right to go with their husband if they wished to do so. He comes up with a peace plan. It involves God and witnesses and agreements for a covenant.

            Basically, people are only as good as their word. If they take God seriously then any vow before the Lord would be binding. Laban proposed that they make a covenant between them solemnized by an offering , a sacrifice, and sharing of a meal together. This was a pact before God to come to a conclusion and sign it before God.

            Part of the peace process was to have a boundary between them and Jacob set up a rock as a pillar. He had his men gather stones and pile them up. Each man give the mound a name in his own language. Laban the Armean called is Jegar sahadutha meaning the mound of a witness. While Jacob used the Hebrew Mizpah or watchtower because Laban said to Jacob May the Lord watch between us. This wasn't exactly wishing each other well as much as it is God be our judge of one or the other of you cross this border to do harm to the other, or steal anything. It was to mark their boundaries

            As Robert Frost said, “Good fences make good neighbors” Know your boundaries so you don’t overextend yourself when you are not wanted. Respect one another and their property and things will result in peace.

            It is a sad commentary, but many unbelievers are reluctant to do business with Christians. They know that while God may be with us, we do not always act godly. There is a difference between what is legal and what is moral. As followers of Jesus we need to realize that we are a witness to the world. We will make mistakes, but do we seek to correct them. A peace process involves forgiveness, confession, reconciliation, and restitution. Between Jacob and Laban they spoke openly their difference; left it to God.

            Laban managed to get Jacob to swear before his God to several particulars. First, Jacob promised never to mistreat Laban’s daughters and never to take any other wives in addition to them. Second, each covenanted that they would not pass that point to harm the other. Having agreed to these matters, Laban said a last farewell to his daughters and their children. Blessing them, he returned to his home (verse 55). The long and often stormy relationship between Laban and Jacob had come to an end.

What can we learn? First our hope is in the Lord.. That which the world can give us, that which we can obtain by our own ingenuity is so much less than what God offers to the one who is obedient. For instance, the promotion you could get if you "used your influence" is not near as satisfying as knowing you "fought the good fight, your finished the course, you kept the faith." The stuff you can amass by borrowing money is not near as satisfying as learning to be content in every circumstance. The appreciative eyes of the crowd at a well maintained body is not to be compared with the satisfaction and strength that comes from a soul that has been nurtured and developed. The applause of men cannot be compared with the "Well Done" of the Father. The renewed friendship after forgiveness is greater than the "sweet feeling of revenge" The satisfaction of giving to another far surpasses the satisfaction of being given to.

So, why do we push ahead? Why do we ignore God's counsel? Why don't we do it God's way and trust that He speaks with a wisdom that will astound and amaze us?

.          

Do you feel that you are underpaid, overworked and under appreciated? If so, I encourage you to ask: Who are you working for? What are you working for? Life isn't always fair . . .but God is trustworthy. In the midst of conflict trust in Him for whether it turns out as we hoped or not, God will know and vindicate us even in glory.

Pastor Dale

Jacob's Children- Genesis 30

Sermon Nuggets Mon Sept 24 Jacob’s children

Verses Gen 30

            I grew up as one of the baby boomers. After WWII many people had children and were optimistic raising families without the fear of a major war and with a promising economy.  But  when I was a teenager there were predictions that the world cannot accommodate so great a population.  Countries like China limit a family to one child. If they have anymore it could result in fines and peer disdain. Abortions are readily available to prevent the overpopulation of the nation.

Various other forms of birth control became widely used and encouraged in our society. Women were exploring other options from traditional roles and many looked at being a homemaker as a lesser important job in our society. Having children took a back seat to exploring career options.

            The desire to live with more conveniences and more goods, the increase of recreation and entertainment, the need for wanting all the stuff that it took our parents many years to get resulted in most families requiring two incomes to make ends meet for the life style that is considered average. All of that has a barring on how many children a couple should have. It is a private decision but people with larger families will readily tell you that subtle and sometimes not to subtle comments are made by others that they shouldn't have so many kids. Some will tell you that it is economically prohibitive and irresponsible in our culture to have large families. People don’t live off the farm they way they used to. Cost of living has increased so greatly.

       

     So when God told Abraham, Isaac, and Jacob they would have descendants more numerous than the stars one wonders if that is a blessing. Indeed, God said it was, and it was part of his plan to fill the earth and take care of it.  Our Bible story today talks about Jacob’s children and how God works through the circumstances of life to carry out his will and plan. Let us look at how this is illustrated through the life of Jacob’s family.

            Last week in Chapter 29 we saw that Leah was the unloved wife. Her father Laban tricked Jacob by switching brides on his wedding day, only to discover it the next morning.

There is an interesting phrase that says, “When the Lord saw that Leah was not loved he opened her womb.” Each child is a gift from God. There are no surprise pregnancies with God. There are many children who are thought to be unwanted because their biological mother and father didn't want to have a child or raise a child, but that certainly doesn't mean God didn't plan their birth. And this was the beginning of God’s plan to raise up a nation, which we later know to be Israel. 

            One of the tragedies of our day is the lie that women’s rights should include the decision of what to do with their own bodies. But indeed when their own bodies are carrying a baby there is a different body involved. It is a creation of God. To purposely end a pregnancy is killing a child. As any sin that can be forgiven, but seldom forgotten.

            

             I watched with interest on the TV how specialists can perform surgical procedures to correct problems on babies before they are born. As they had shown an unborn child with the commitment of making that life healthier all I could think of was doctors taking that little baby and crushing its skull and saying we’ve done nothing wrong. It’s a personal matter between a woman and doctor. Abortions are no longer limited to early conception. They are openly and unashamedly crushing heads of babies at birth before it comes out of the birth canal and calling that good. God help us.

            Leah saw that each and every one of her babies was a special gift from God and even though she could not win the love of her husband, she had the heart of God. Leah had been grateful to God for the children. The pinnacle of Leah’s piety was that point at which she came to recognize that to be loved and led by God was a far greater thing than to be loved by any man. While Jacob’s affection was still something she greatly desired, she was content with the love of God. In Him she was blessed. To Him she would give praise. And so when her fourth son was born she named him Judah, “praise the Lord,” .

While three sons did little to change Jacob’s heart, the birth of the fourth was the occasion for Leah’s expression of praise and thanksgiving toward the God Who had heard her prayers. Then she stopped bearing.

Pastor Dale

           

Sermon Nuggets Tues Sept 25 

Gen 30:1-13 When Rachel saw that she was not bearing Jacob any children, she became jealous of her sister. So she said to Jacob, “Give me children, or I’ll die!”

² Jacob became angry with her and said, “Am I in the place of God, who has kept you from having children?”

³ Then she said, “Here is Bilhah, my maidservant. Sleep with her so that she can bear children for me and that through her I too can build a family.”

⁴ So she gave him her servant Bilhah as a wife. Jacob slept with her, ⁵ and she became pregnant and bore him a son. ⁶ Then Rachel said, “God has vindicated me; he has listened to my plea and given me a son.” Because of this she named him Dan.

⁷ Rachel’s servant Bilhah conceived again and bore Jacob a second son. ⁸ Then Rachel said, “I have had a great struggle with my sister, and I have won.” So she named him Naphtali.

⁹ When Leah saw that she had stopped having children, she took her maidservant Zilpah and gave her to Jacob as a wife.¹⁰ Leah’s servant Zilpah bore Jacob a son. ¹¹ Then Leah said, “What good fortune!” So she named him Gad.

¹² Leah’s servant Zilpah bore Jacob a second son. ¹³ Then Leah said, “How happy I am! The women will call me happy.” So she named him Asher.

An Illustration of Competition

            Many people have the thought that if their marriage is in trouble then children will make it better. That is not the case. Many times children make marriages worse because the relationships of parents are challenged when children compete for attention and needs that have to be met. Children should never be used as pawns in a relationship.

The way Rachel was thinking is, “my husband loves me more than he loves my sister. But the more children my sister has the more attachment he will have toward her because I am not having children.” Jealousy creeps in because children are also the main reason for fulfillment in women of the Old Testament. That was their main function to produce sons and care for their husbands. Since Rachel cannot have children she does what others have done before her to take matters in her own hands. She desires to adopt children.

There are agencies that work out adoptions of children both within our culture and in other nations as well. But with medical science some infertile couples are finding that in certain incidents they can take the sperm from the father and egg from the mother and artificially fertilize it in laboratory conditions and then reinsert the egg in the mother and the child is a biological offspring. There are other scenarios of fertilizing the egg within the mother, and taking the egg from the mother fertilizing it and putting it in another woman’s body to carry. There are further cases where either the egg or the sperm is donated by another family member if the spouse is unable to produce it.

Here the science laboratory is nothing more than Rachel substituting her handmaiden, Bilhah, in her place as her substitute with the father to have a baby by adoption in her name.

 

I wish more was said of these handmaidens who become the victims of such thinking. Slaves were owned by their masters and had very little say when their masters slept with them or were told to have intercourse with their mistress’s husband. There were all types of sexual exploitations done to slaves throughout the history of man. Because this was the way it was doesn’t mean that was the way it should have been. Please understand that. This was a means of adoption due purely to competition for the love of Jacob as well as for ones own need of self fulfillment. It was selfish sin.

Rather than recognize her barrenness as coming from the hand of God, she sought to shift the blame to Jacob. It was all his fault, she insisted. The story the results with the competition of sisters which has Jacob being shuttled from bedroom to bedroom, tent to tent. Modern-day soap operas deal with a very similar kind of plot. However, God’s “soap” is not intended to encourage us to think sinful thoughts or to commit illicit acts but rather to “clean up our own acts” and to live righteously before Him.

Like Rachel, Rebekah had been barren, but Isaac’s response was quite different from Jacob’s. He prayed on behalf of Rebekah, and on his behalf God gave her children. No prayers are mentioned here. We are only told that God heard the petitions of the wives.  Sarai’s cry came more from circumstances in which there were no children and she didn’t see how she could have any. Rachel’s demand comes from her own pride and jealousy. She must have children, and she would take any steps necessary to get them.

The results were just as Rachel had hoped, and her response to the birth of this boy sounded most spiritual. One would think that Rachel had done a most wonderful and sacrificial thing in giving her maid to Jacob. Her words were intended to give credit to God for all that she and He had accomplished together. The name Dan meant “judged.” She claimed that God had judged the matter of her dispute with her sister Leah and had sided with her as proven by the birth of this child.

The statement made by Rachel on the occasion of the birth of Bilhah’s second son is more reflective of her true spiritual state at this time: “I won. I struggled with my sister and I am now on top.” It was egocentric. That is never the reason for children.

Rachel, while wrong in proposing that Jacob sleep with Bilhah, at least can be understood to have been reacting to her barrenness; but Leah already has four sons of her own. There was no need to give her maid Zilpah to Jacob for a wife—other than the fact that this was what Rachel had done. Leah and Rachel are in a head-to-head confrontation. If Rachel can employ her maid in this contest, so can she.

Even though commitment was the illustration in the first four births, Leah’s speech betrays her here. She does not mention God at all this time. In the fervent competition between two sisters, little thought is given to the ethics of their actions, only to the expected results. She who previously had viewed her children as a gift from a gracious and caring God now sees these sons as merely good fortune—“How lucky I am,” “How fortunate,” and “How happy am I.” Religious commitment now seems to be  thrown to the wind. For anyone keeping score, Leah was ahead of Rachel 4 to 2, but that was not enough. Now she has added two more points to the scoreboard.

            Where does jealousy, resentment or competition fit in your life? Who serves as the person, or people, you feel you are in competition with? What would God have you do?

Pastor Dale

Sermon Nuggets Weds Sept 26 

Gen 30: ¹⁴ During wheat harvest, Reuben went out into the fields and found some mandrake plants, which he brought to his mother Leah. Rachel said to Leah, “Please give me some of your son’s mandrakes.”

¹⁵ But she said to her, “Wasn’t it enough that you took away my husband? Will you take my son’s mandrakes too?”

“Very well,” Rachel said, “he can sleep with you tonight in return for your son’s mandrakes.”

¹⁶ So when Jacob came in from the fields that evening, Leah went out to meet him. “You must sleep with me,” she said. “I have hired you with my son’s mandrakes.” So he slept with her that night.

¹⁷ God listened to Leah, and she became pregnant and bore Jacob a fifth son. ¹⁸ Then Leah said, “God has rewarded me for giving my maidservant to my husband.” So she named him Issachar.

¹⁹ Leah conceived again and bore Jacob a sixth son. ²⁰ Then Leah said, “God has presented me with a precious gift. This time my husband will treat me with honor, because I have borne him six sons.” So she named him Zebulun.

²¹ Some time later she gave birth to a daughter and named her Dinah.

 ²² Then God remembered Rachel; he listened to her and opened her womb. ²³ She became pregnant and gave birth to a son and said, “God has taken away my disgrace.” ²⁴ She named him Joseph, and said, “May the Lord add to me another son.”

An illustration of  Confusion

            Now we come to another confusing part of the explanation of what is happening with the competition. There is confusion as to how to have babies. Mandrakes were a plant with berries found in that part of the world which were thought to stimulate the desire for “love-making” and also to enhance the chances of conception. Leah, I suppose, was more interested in these berries, Rachel for the love potion. While temporarily not bearing children, Leah’s greatest need was to get Jacob into her tent where nature could take its course. Rachel, on the other hand, had Jacob with her nearly every night, but she seemed unable to become pregnant.

However, before we become too smug in our sophisticated and enlightened day, let me remind you that billions, are spent on cosmetics by Americans each year. Every day the tooth paste and the perfume commercials convince us that whiter teeth or cleaner breath or a more “come hither” perfume will do what nothing else can to enhance our love life. So you see, things have not really changed so much over the centuries after all.  In that same way there is confusion in our society as to what builds health and godly relationships. It is not how sexy one becomes, but what type of character they have as God’s spirit moves and makes us each one.

Rachel wanted this so badly she will do anything, and Leah as if she needs to buy her husband will only give them to her sister if she agrees that she can have sexual relationship with Jacob. Leah would get what she wanted. In exchange for this one night, Rachel got the mandrakes, which she hoped would enable her to conceive.

What a sad situation this had become to resort to a form of prostitution to purchase his services as her husband. And Rachel was so lacking in faith that she put her trust in mandrakes rather than the God who made them. Rachel, it would appear, attempted to produce sons like Jacob sought to produce sheep, by the use of magical devices.

Indeed, her night with Jacob did bring about what Leah had hoped for, another son. It was not because of mandrakes but because God had compassion on her that she conceived and bore Jacob a fifth son. It must be in spite of her bargaining with Rachel and not because of it that God blessed Leah.

I believe that Leah wrongly interpreted the meaning of God’s gift of that fifth son. It was a gift of God’s grace in response to her circumstances that the son was begotten; but Leah chose to interpret this son as evidence of God’s approval and blessing of her giving her maid Zilpah to Jacob. In her days, as in ours, true believers are all too quick to credit God with the “successes” of life which are a result of our sins. We seek to sanctify our sins by saying that God was behind it all. My friends, I sincerely believe that God is given too much credit whenever we make Him our partner in sin. Pious words do not necessarily prove pious works.

Finally, Leah is reported to give birth to a sixth son and also a daughter: Prayer does not immediately occur to Rachel as the solution to her stigma of barrenness, but it does seem to be her last resort. I never cease to be amazed at myself and others who leave prayer in the category of “last ditch” actions.

Neither sex nor children can create love. Leah would be quick to tell us that she learned no amount of sex could ever earn the love of her husband. Even after six boys, she was still unloved. Love cannot be manufactured through sex or with having children.

This is a truth that I desperately desire girls to learn. There are so many instances of girls who long to be loved giving their bodies in the vain search for love. Sex will produce children, but it will never produce love. I fear that many prostitutes were driven to their profession by the feeling that they were unloved. All they had to give, they supposed, was their body.

In time now, Rachel does have a son who is named. “Joseph”. His name means.  “has taken away,” which has reference to the removal of the barrenness which had so plagued Rachel It must have been nearly seven years after her marriage to Jacob that Rachel finally bore him a son. There may be significance to this delay. Jacob, due to his deception and deceit, was delayed in the process of getting a wife for himself. Perhaps Rachel was delayed in her attempts to have a child for the same reasons. She, too, was willing to employ questionable methods to obtain a son. Only after all these futile efforts were thwarted and shown to be without result does God open Rachel’s womb, and that may be in answer to her prayers. Rachel is yet to have another child, but he will come at the cost of her own life .

Pastor Dale

Sermon Nuggets Thurs Sept 27 

Gen 30: ²⁵ After Rachel gave birth to Joseph, Jacob said to Laban, “Send me on my way so I can go back to my own homeland. ²⁶ Give me my wives and children, for whom I have served you, and I will be on my way. You know how much work I’ve done for you.”

²⁷ But Laban said to him, “If I have found favor in your eyes, please stay. I have learned by divination that the Lord has blessed me because of you.” ²⁸ He added, “Name your wages, and I will pay them.”

²⁹ Jacob said to him, “You know how I have worked for you and how your livestock has fared under my care. ³⁰ The little you had before I came has increased greatly, and the Lord has blessed you wherever I have been. But now, when may I do something for my own household?”

³¹ “What shall I give you?” he asked.

“Don’t give me anything,” Jacob replied. “But if you will do this one thing for me, I will go on tending your flocks and watching over them: ³² Let me go through all your flocks today and remove from them every speckled or spotted sheep, every dark-colored lamb and every spotted or speckled goat. They will be my wages. ³³ And my honesty will testify for me in the future, whenever you check on the wages you have paid me. Any goat in my possession that is not speckled or spotted, or any lamb that is not dark-colored, will be considered stolen.”

³⁴ “Agreed,” said Laban. “Let it be as you have said.” ³⁵ That same day he removed all the male goats that were streaked or spotted, and all the speckled or spotted female goats (all that had white on them) and all the dark-colored lambs, and he placed them in the care of his sons. ³⁶ Then he put a three-day journey between himself and Jacob, while Jacob continued to tend the rest of Laban’s flocks.

      ³⁷ Jacob, however, took fresh-cut branches from poplar, almond and plane trees and made white stripes on them by peeling the bark and exposing the white inner wood of the branches. ³⁸ Then he placed the peeled branches in all the watering troughs, so that they would be directly in front of the flocks when they came to drink. When the flocks were in heat and came to drink,³⁹ they mated in front of the branches. And they bore young that were streaked or speckled or spotted. ⁴⁰ Jacob set apart the young of the flock by themselves, but made the rest face the streaked and dark-colored animals that belonged to Laban. Thus he made separate flocks for himself and did not put them with Laban’s animals. ⁴¹ Whenever the stronger females were in heat,Jacob would place the branches in the troughs in front of the animals so they would mate near the branches, ⁴² but if the animals were weak, he would not place them there. So the weak animals went to Laban and the strong ones to Jacob. ⁴³ In this way the man grew exceedingly prosperous and came to own large flocks, and maidservants and menservants, and camels and donkeys.

 An illustration of Character

            Our actions reveal our character in time. Jacob acted out of integrity whereas his father-in-law had consistently acted out of greed and selfishness.

Jacob had been deceived, and his return had already been delayed seven years longer than he had expected. Having fulfilled his obligation to Laban, Jacob was free to go, but Laban was reluctant to see this happen. He had come to realize that his prosperity was the result of Jacob’s presence (verse 27). If Jacob were to stay, Laban reasoned, it would be on the basis of the profit motive. All of Jacob’s labor over those fourteen years had been in lieu of a dowry. He had nothing to show for his labor except for his wives and family. It was now time to re-negotiate Jacob’s contract, and Laban asked him to name his terms.

Jacob names his terms. Normally goats in that land were black or dark brown, seldom white or spotted with white. On the other hand, the sheep were nearly always white, infrequently black or spotted.  Jacob offered to continue working as a tender of the flocks if he were but to receive these stripped and spotted animals. 

It seems that Laban was trying to pull a fast one over on Jacob. He agreed, but then  took all those animals and moved a three days’ distance kept by Laban’s sons. This would make it even harder for Jacob to achieve his wages.

Some later time the herd would be examined, and the spotted or striped animals would go to Jacob, while the rest would be Laban’s. He thought removing the flocks would lessened the chances of other spotted or striped animals being conceived, since these would not be mating with the flock. He then could keep the adults and prevent lambs from being spotted or striped.

Jacob did three things: took fresh-cut branches from poplar, almond and plane trees and made white stripes on them by peeling the bark and exposing the white inner wood of the branches. Then he placed the peeled branches in all the watering troughs, so that they would be directly in front of the flocks when they came to drink. When the flocks were in heat and came to drink, they mated in front of the branches.

It was the belief that visual impressions at the time of conception affected the outcome at birth. The peeled poles were thought to produce striped offspring. No one believes that this is true today, and no farmer uses this technique to upgrade his cattle.

Only later will we be told the real reason for Jacob’s prosperity. But when we think of character Jacob did not prosper because he pulled one over on Laban. Jacob’s success was not the product of his schemes. He did not trick Laban but was applying breeding techniques he thought would improve his chances of a desired flock. He worked to achieve his goals. He sought to earn his wages the old fashioned way-work and plan ahead.

.

Pastor Dale

Sermon Nuggets Fri Sept 28

Gen 30

 An Illustration of the Covenant.

What is the connection between the peeling of branch, or having the livestock drink from water where a stick is placed? Moses helps us understand that what Jacob did wasn't so much a superstitious activity of man as it was a symbolic expression of obedience of his faith in God. Chapter 31:10-13 comments on what happened.  ¹⁰ “In breeding season I once had a dream in which I looked up and saw that the male goats mating with the flock were streaked, speckled or spotted. ¹¹ The angel of God said to me in the dream, ‘Jacob.’ I answered, ‘Here I am.’ ¹² And he said, ‘Look up and see that all the male goats mating with the flock are streaked, speckled or spotted, for I have seen all that Laban has been doing to you. ¹³ I am the God of Bethel, where you anointed a pillar and where you made a vow to me. Now leave this land at once and go back to your native land.

 So many of the actions of the rites of the Levites, or the way the temple was constructed were symbolic of something they didn't understand but did in obedience as a faith commitment to the covenant or agreement of God. Just like baptism symbolizes our salvation and does not save us, so these poles and sticks are a means of God’s grace, not the cause of these animals becoming stripped. If there is some special type or symbol I am not sure what it would be other than a symbol of obedience to God who not only gives children to men and women, but kids to goats, rams, and sheep. Jacob did what God told him to do, period.

Countless men and women are trying to work their way into God’s heaven by their own devices. Some of these would include church membership, baptism, confirmation, communion, church leadership, charity, and so on. Now all of these activities may have great value to the Christian, but going through those motions don’t mean anything to someone trying to win God’s approval by anything but faith. The only way to enter God’s heaven is to trust the work of salvation accomplished by Jesus Christ. He bore the penalty for our sins. He provided the righteousness which God requires.

Don’t mix up the results of success from a human point of view, with the righteousness that God requires. As someone has rightly pointed out, we are not commanded to be victorious, only obedient.

God used the circumstances of Jacob and his wives and concubines to begin the nation he wants holy unto himself. He takes what is and makes it what He wants it to be. That is good news. He takes you and me like we are and makes us, if we let him, what He wants us to be. That is covenant relationship. That is the agreement that takes God at his word. Throughout this chapter the covenant of God that he will bless and multiply shows that even through the ups and downs, the positive and negative, the cheating and manipulating, the commitment and the failings, God works out His will and plan. PTL

In the this story of Jacob we see love, sex, marriage, and family are all gifts from a good and loving God, but their enjoyment cannot be complete apart from fellowship with Him. Kids galore are the ways God provides for blessing and for worship that we can say as expressed in this chapter. Work hard, Do you best, trust God and watch Him work.

We are blessed that people will see God at work. That is his plan as we are part of his covenant people saved by Jesus Christ. Marvel at his work in our circumstances.

Pastor Dale

Jacob's Marriage Genesis 29

Sermon Nuggets Mon Sept 17                                          

Gen 29

Double Wedding

           

            Whenever we read the Bible, and especially the Old Testament, we must always remember that behavior that is recorded is not the same thing as behavior which is approved. Just because the Bible records that people lied, stole, and had numerous wives doesn't mean that God approves of such things. The Bible is an accurate record of what happened in the lives of real people, including their mistakes and foolish choices.

We know that Jacob left his home for two reasons. First to flee from his brother, Esau, who was intent on killing him because he stole not only his birthright, but his blessing. And secondly, Jacob left home with the instructions of his parents to find a wife from the family of his mother in order to start descendents for the promised line as revealed by God. He met with God along the way and received the promise directly just as Abraham and Isaac did. He made a commitment to God.

            After Jacob arrived in the region of his Mother’s family he asked some shepherds if anyone heard about this family. Providentially by God’s direction not only have they heard about this family, here comes the daughter of Laban whose name is Rachael and she is also a shepherdess.

            Jacob gets one look at his cousin and he falls in love. He moves the rock from the well and waters her sheep. He reveals his relationship with her. Rachael runs home to tell her family. Her father is excited about the news some 75 years later about his sister and brings his nephew into their home as long lost family.

            After about a month after Jacob is living and working for his Uncle. Uncle Laban asks Jacob what he wants for wages. He is in love with Rachel and wants to marry her.

            I wonder if Laban remembered when the servant of Abraham came to take his sister away. She left after just a week and never saw her again. He probably didn’t want to lose her. But how much would she be worth? Isn’t that great when fathers can negotiate a financial settlement with the groom on the price of a bride? What would that do for the self esteem of the bride? There is no mention that she had much say in the negotiation, but the deal is done and they are engaged for seven years.

            That’s a bit different that even today when people can’t seem to wait before they get married. I have counseled couples who wanted to get an education after high school but are afraid that their boyfriend or girlfriend won’t wait that long. I remind them of the love commitment that Jacob had for Rachel where says because he loved her time flew by. Does your love have persistence to it that you can wait?

When 7 years past Jacob can’t wait any longer. He has been pure. She is a virgin. Now is the time to marry according to the contract. He has done his job and proved faithful and committed. So Laban brought together all the people of the place and gave a wedding feast. But when evening came, he took his older daughter Leah who had poor eyes, and gave her to Jacob. The bride is veiled, the time is at night. They go into the wedding tent, the bridal chamber and consummate the marriage.

But what a shock when the veil was removed and it was daylight in the tent and Jacob discovers that his bride is the older sister, Leah. Can you imagine what dialogue there was between the son-in-law and father-in-law? "What is this you have done to me? I served you for Rachel? Why have you deceived me?"

But here the deceiver, namely Jacob, was deceived at his own game. He wanted one thing and it was stolen from him. He was married to the wrong woman. Laban was acting out of order, knowing full well that Jacob would not agree to his older daughter he tricked him into marrying her since that was the custom of marrying children in their birth order, just like it is in India.

Laban tells Jacob that he can have Rachel as promised, after the bridal week is over, but he has to work for another 7 years. Because Jacob loved Rachel this is something he agreed to, so within one week he had a double wedding. Two sisters married the same man. But it doesn’t take anyone by surprise to realize there were problems with this arrangement right from the beginning.

            Jacob loved Rachel he did not love Leah. She was forced into a situation because apparently people didn’t want her for a wife maybe because of her poor eyes, and next to her sister was not attractive. She felt rejection and even when she got a husband he was unwilling. Leah was resentful of her sister and her sister resentful of her.

            God knew what he was doing when he said from the very beginning, “For this reason a man shall leave his father and mother and cleave unto his wife and the two shall  become one.” There is a spiritual oneness designed by God with one husband and one wife that is God’s plan for marriage.  So even before the Law there was the Godly principle set down. People were more influenced by the culture than faith.

            Laban is behaving in exactly this fashion however in that culture. Interestingly enough it really wasn’t until the last 150 or so years that our culture began to marry for love. Marriages used to be arranged and based on compatibility. One author I read stated that “We live in an age that over values romantic love”. It has also been noted and I quote “Men and women who in earlier centuries were married, now remain unmarried and unhappy in a society that considers romantic love the only proper basis for marriage”

           

When the LORD saw that Leah was not loved, he opened her womb and she had four sons. Each time she thought this was a blessing of God and would she would be loved by her husband. All this time Rachel was barren.

Pastor Dale

Sermon Nuggets Tues Sept 18 

Gen 29: 16 Now Laban had two daughters; the name of the older was Leah, and the name of the younger was Rachel. 17 Leah had weakeyes, but Rachel was lovely in form, and beautiful. 18 Jacob was in love with Rachel and said, “I’ll work for you seven years in return for your younger daughter Rachel.”

19 Laban said, “It’s better that I give her to you than to some other man. Stay here with me.” 20 So Jacob served seven years to get Rachel, but they seemed like only a few days to him because of his love for her.

²¹ Then Jacob said to Laban, “Give me my wife. My time is completed, and I want to lie with her.”

²² So Laban brought together all the people of the place and gave a feast. ²³ But when evening came, he took his daughter Leahand gave her to Jacob, and Jacob lay with her. ²⁴ And Laban gave his servant girl Zilpah to his daughter as her maidservant.

²⁵ When morning came, there was Leah! So Jacob said to Laban, “What is this you have done to me? I served you for Rachel, didn’t I? Why have you deceived me?”

²⁶ Laban replied, “It is not our custom here to give the younger daughter in marriage before the older one. ²⁷ Finish this daughter’s bridal week; then we will give you the younger one also, in return for another seven years of work.”

²⁸ And Jacob did so. He finished the week with Leah, and then Laban gave him his daughter Rachel to be his wife. ²⁹ Laban gave his servant girl Bilhah to his daughter Rachel as her maidservant. ³⁰ Jacob lay with Rachel also, and he loved Rachel more than Leah. And he worked for Laban another seven years.

           

From the Groom’s Perspective

There are some reflections as we look at Marriage from different perspectives.

            Although there may be many reasons for a man to get married, we know of at least three reasons Jacob wanted to get married. Sex, love, and kids. He went to this land to find a wife in order to fulfill the promise of God to have offspring to begin ancestry from which the promises of God would be made known to the world. But when he met his cousin he saw she was beautiful beyond words and fell in love with her. As soon as the seven years are up he doesn’t seem to mix words. Let me marry her they I may lie with her. Now’s the time for sexual relationship with my wife.

Is he in love with her solely based on her good looks? We are not sure. We know she’s good looking and we know he’s deeply in love with her.  Is this love at first sight? Or lust at first sight? Many times people begin their attraction physically. They are appealing to the member of the opposite sex. When I first laid my eyes on Judi she had her hair up in this large curlers and a scarf over her head. Fortunately we had future encounters which allowed me to see her in a different light!

Rachel is characterized only by her physical attractiveness. She was “beautiful of form and face” (verse 17). The author may be drawing our attention to this fact because it was the major source of attraction for Jacob. There seems to be, then, a significant contrast here between Rachel and Rebekah. Rebekah was selected for Isaac by Abraham’s servant on the basis of divine guidance and because of personal qualities which assured him that she would be a fine wife for Isaac. Rachel, on the other hand, was selected by Jacob for himself, but without any mention of her personal qualities, only a description of her beauty. Rebekah’s beauty was an additional plus, an unexpected fringe benefit; Rachel’s beauty was the essence of her selection. The red warning lights should already be flashing in our minds.

The point of verse 20 is that Rachel was well worth the high price which Jacob had agreed to pay for her—a price measured in years of service rather than dollars. The Bible says that Jacob worked those 7 years and that they went by fast to him-so in love with her that the effort he had to put out to get her hand in marriage seemed like nothing. The effort wasn’t considered great for the reward, the goal, the woman of his dreams was what he kept his sights upon.

It’s been a 7 year engagement for he calls her “my wife”. In that day and in Jesus’ day one’s engagement was considered to be as binding as marriage itself. It was a serious thing to be engaged. Legally bound to one another. Remember that Joseph spoke of quietly divorcing Mary even though they not yet officially married.

 He’s eager to have sexual relations with her. They have not had pre-marital sex. They had remained sexually pure during those 7 years of engagement. The Bible restricts sexual activity to marriage. The Bible exhorts to purity and holiness in all of our relationships. It recognizes the power of sexual desire and yet we are told to master our desires. I know that the majority of dating and engaged couples in today’s society are involved with each other sexually in ways that the Bible says must be reserved for marriage. Jacob, for all his character flaws respected Rachel when it came to physical things. He saved himself for marriage.

God has planned sex as something good and enjoyable which God has made and reserved for the marriage bed. Don’t give away your purity. Save yourself for the one you marry. Also when and if you are dating be on guard against what is known as gradualism. Gradualism is a slippery slope. First you start out holding hands, then kissing, then comes petting and then heavy petting and then before a couple knows it they’ve gone all the way. As a single person you need to set physical limits in your mind even before you start dating and you need to be resolved and firm on that. You need to commit yourself to the Lord to be the sexually pure person God wants you to be.

Love is a commitment. If you really love someone you will wait until the time is right. Now I am not necessarily recommending that people wait seven years, unless circumstances call for waiting, but the longer the engagements the more you experience challenges of life that let you reflect on the strength of a relationship. But the more a couple is together the greater the strain of wanting to be more intimate before it’s time so 1 Cor 7 comes into play in those decisions as well. It is better for a couple to marry than burn with passion.

Pastor Dale

Sermon Nuggets Weds Sept 19 

Gen 29

¹³ As soon as Laban heard the news about Jacob, his sister’s son, he hurried to meet him. He embraced him and kissed him and brought him to his home, and there Jacob told him all these things. ¹⁴ Then Laban said to him, “You are my own flesh and blood.”

After Jacob had stayed with him for a whole month, ¹⁵ Laban said to him, “Just because you are a relative of mine, should you work for me for nothing? Tell me what your wages should be.”

¹⁶ Now Laban had two daughters; the name of the older was Leah, and the name of the younger was Rachel. ¹⁷ Leah had weakeyes, but Rachel was lovely in form, and beautiful. ¹⁸ Jacob was in love with Rachel and said, “I’ll work for you seven years in return for your younger daughter Rachel.”

¹⁹ Laban said, “It’s better that I give her to you than to some other man. Stay here with me.” ²⁰ So Jacob served seven years to get Rachel, but they seemed like only a few days to him because of his love for her.

²¹ Then Jacob said to Laban, “Give me my wife. My time is completed, and I want to lie with her.”

²² So Laban brought together all the people of the place and gave a feast. ²³ But when evening came, he took his daughter Leahand gave her to Jacob, and Jacob lay with her. ²⁴ And Laban gave his servant girl Zilpah to his daughter as her maidservant.

²⁵ When morning came, there was Leah! So Jacob said to Laban, “What is this you have done to me? I served you for Rachel, didn’t I? Why have you deceived me?”

²⁶ Laban replied, “It is not our custom here to give the younger daughter in marriage before the older one. ²⁷ Finish this daughter’s bridal week; then we will give you the younger one also, in return for another seven years of work.”

²⁸ And Jacob did so. He finished the week with Leah, and then Laban gave him his daughter Rachel to be his wife. ²⁹ Laban gave his servant girl Bilhah to his daughter Rachel as her maidservant. ³⁰ Jacob lay with Rachel also, and he loved Rachel more than Leah. And he worked for Laban another seven years.

From the Father-in-laws perspective

Marriage for Laban was his consideration of finding a husband for his daughters who will treat them well, be a good provider, be a good worker, and have a spiritual base. 

I believe initially there is also a spiritual element that was important for Laban.

When he first heard about Abraham and the promise given to Isaac, when he heard the servant tell how God had led him to his sister Rebekah, he acknowledged this was from God and blessed her in her leaving. Now he hears how Jacob met with the Lord, has the birthright and the promise of God and that too is important for his daughters. Parents want what they think is best for their kids and faith is an important characteristic in future spouses.

When the time of marriage came however, Laban’s responsibilities as a father overshadowed doing what was right. The end result was that Laban married off both his daughters and got 14 years of labor from Jacob. He was taking advantage of Jacobs love for his daughter.  Greed also got the best of him. It seems he was more concerned about his own motives at this point than those of his daughters. He was more concerned of the customs of his day that keeping his word, or earning trust. 

Laban corrupts Jacob morally. Polygamy wasn’t God’s original design. Two sisters in the same man’s bed wasn’t God’s design. Yet Jacob goes along with it which says something about his character too. He completes the wedding week with Leah and then the week after takes Rachel on as his wife. The end result is a big mess! Jacob ends up with 2 wives. One he doesn’t love or want, and the other he favors. That does not make for a very good marriage or family relationship.

 Incidentally the text tells us that as a wedding gift Laban gives both Leah and Rachel a servant girl.  This becomes important later.

            The irony of this is that what goes around comes around. Jacob was a deceiver taking the birthright from his eldest brother. Now Jacob was forced to learn that the right of the firstborn must be respected within that culture. Jacob wore a disguise pretending to his brother to get the blessing, now Leah wears the wedding veil to conceal her identify imposing as her sister for the marriage blessing.

            Laban is not one we would want to use as an example. But it is possible that you are a person who use people and cherish things, other than the other way around. It's possible that you have been unfeeling in your dealings with others. Friend, follow the course of Laban's life. He eventually loses his daughters, his grandchildren, and much of his wealth.

You have to think that one day Laban woke up and realized that he had squandered the good things of life away by his actions. I can't help but think that he died a lonely and broken man. His riches would be empty without the love of family and walking in integrity with the Lord. Although Laban had appreciation for the God of Abraham, he also had other idols around as we will see later.

He is to be commended for his desire to have his daughters cared for, but using his son-in-law for his own advantages makes for unhealthy in law relationships.

Pastor Dale

Sermon Nuggets Thurs Sept 20 

Gen 29

¹⁶ Now Laban had two daughters; the name of the older was Leah, and the name of the younger was Rachel. ¹⁷ Leah had weakeyes, but Rachel was lovely in form, and beautiful. ¹⁸ Jacob was in love with Rachel and said, “I’ll work for you seven years in return for your younger daughter Rachel.”

    ²² So Laban brought together all the people of the place and gave a feast. ²³ But when evening came, he took his daughter Leahand gave her to Jacob, and Jacob lay with her. ²⁴ And Laban gave his servant girl Zilpah to his daughter as her maidservant.

²⁵ When morning came, there was Leah! So Jacob said to Laban, “What is this you have done to me? I served you for Rachel, didn’t I? Why have you deceived me?”

²⁶ Laban replied, “It is not our custom here to give the younger daughter in marriage before the older one. ²⁷ Finish this daughter’s bridal week; then we will give you the younger one also, in return for another seven years of work.”

 ³⁰ Jacob lay with Rachel also, and he loved Rachel more than Leah.

³¹ When the Lord saw that Leah was not loved, he opened her womb, but Rachel was barren. ³² Leah became pregnant and gave birth to a son. She named him Reuben, for she said, “It is because the Lord has seen my misery. Surely my husband will love me now.”

³³ She conceived again, and when she gave birth to a son she said, “Because the Lord heard that I am not loved, he gave me this one too.” So she named him Simeon.

³⁴ Again she conceived, and when she gave birth to a son she said, “Now at last my husband will become attached to me,because I have borne him three sons.” So he was named Levi.

³⁵ She conceived again, and when she gave birth to a son she said, “This time I will praise the Lord.” So she named him Judah.Then she stopped having children.

From the Brides' Perspective

           

Few women have been so misunderstood as Leah. Even her name does her a great disservice, for it means “wild cow.” The statement that she had “weak eyes” (verse 17) seems to many to portray Leah as a homely girl with pop-bottle glasses, who cannot see. .

The Bible doesn’t go into the detail regarding the part the she plays in the deception since it was her father’s idea. She could have protested and let the secret out before he said “I do”. I think she might have been a willing accompanist. Perhaps her lack of beauty, which is implied not stated, made it difficult to find a husband so now was her chance to have a man by hook or crook.

            Are there other marriages that are done with pretense instead of openness in our day? I am aware of manipulation and secrets that are kept on the part of husband and wives in certain incidents before marriage. I am aware of some brides thinking they will never get married and that fear drives them to pretend they are something they are not until after the wedding when truth always comes out. I know of men who don’t think they can get a bride so will lie to deceive their mate or not tell whole story until later.

           

I knew a girl in our youth group at my home church in Detroit who felt that she could never find a boyfriend. When one dated her she really dolled up for him. She lost weight, got contacts, used make up and womanly charms to win him over, but after the marriage never saw her with contacts again, doubled her weight and seldom used make up. I left the area but discovered later they were divorced and she was left alone. If he married only for physical reasons both guys and girls will be in for a big surprise. I think however the lady was pretending to be something she wasn’t and the outward covering was a symptom of an inward need what she also hid from her spouse.

            But try to put yourself in Leah’s shoes after the wedding. Jacob's rejection had to hurt. No one likes rejection no matter what culture you are living in. How would you feel if after your week-long honeymoon your husband married someone else -your sister? You yearn for someone to love you and maybe you are tempted to do anything to find that love. Again, don't compromise your standards. The world may not see your beauty yet but God does. He has made you to be a uniquely gifted person that He will use in a wonderful way. If you feel you have nothing to offer, it is because you are not looking through the eyes of the Lord.

The Lord had compassion on Leah because she was discriminated against and unloved by her husband. She was second fiddle. God opened her womb, a special honor for women in that society and blessed her with sons. God knows our hurts and our feelings and understands rejection. He will never forget us. 

I want to say a word first about Rachel. Imagine being Rachel and being able to say with pride and admiration “Look what my man is doing to show how much he loves me. Look at that man. That man loves me. Don’t you all wish someone would be able to say that about you? I know they love me. Just look at their sacrifice for me. Look at what they are doing for me.”

Few things are as important to women today as beauty. This beauty thing is way overplayed even in our society. Rachel was a wonderfully-endowed woman. There is nothing wrong with that. Sarah was beautiful, and so was Rebekah. But outward beauty must always be a secondary consideration. Jacob looked at Rachel’s exterior and investigated no further into her character. The writer, King Lemuel, was not in error when he gave this counsel: Charm is deceitful and beauty is vain, But a woman who fears the LORD, she shall be praised (Proverbs 31:30).

Men and boys, this is a word for us. We all want to be seen with the beautiful girls. We all have dreamed of dating them. Some have made great sacrifices to marry a showpiece. Let us look first for character, and if we find it, let us look no further. If we find character with charm and beauty, let us consider ourselves fortunate.

Ladies, I realize that our society has placed a premium on glamour and beauty. I understand that much of your sense of self-worth is based upon your outward attractiveness and “sex appeal.” However, that is wrong. Our ultimate worth is that estimation which comes from God. God was not impressed with Rachel’s good looks. After all, He gave that to her in the first place. God looked upon the heart and blessed Leah. Her worth, while never fully realized by her husband, was great in the eyes of God. May all of us learn to be content with ourselves as God made us, and may we find our real worth in the realm of the spirit 

Pastor Dale

Sermon Nuggets Fri Sept 21

 Gods’ Perspective

Marriage is to be in obedience to God to reflect his glory and be used to honor him and serve others and carry out his purposes in our lives. Can he do that better if you are married or single? It was God’s will for Jacob to be married. It wasn’t God’s will to marry two women, but the grace of God was made evident even in the circumstances of ignorance and disobedience. God will work out good and carry out his will and will set us up again on the right path if we let Him.

God’s purposes are going to be accomplished in spite of the messes we make in life. You and I may blow it big time but God’s not done with us and He’s still able and will accomplish the immutable purposes he has for our lives.

Mark this down. Marriage doesn’t solve problems. It can only reveal and intensify them. It is not to be used to escape problems at home or in your personal life. The person that Jacob married literally was not the person he intended to marry. Can’t we all say that about our spouses? We joke and say, It doesn’t make any difference who you marry on your wedding day it is a different person a few months later. None of us marry our dreams. We marry reality and the person is always different than what we imagined in our dreams. So then we learn to live with the reality by the grace of God.

In nearly every relationship, husbands and wives experience a period of unfulfilled expectations. God often works in our lives not by giving us the perfect environment, but by demonstrating his grace, love, and power in our imperfect situations.

God did not bring these events to pass to punish Jacob but to instruct him. Punishment has been born by our Savior on the cross, but discipline is the corrective training which furthers us on the path leading to godliness (cf. Hebrews 12).

In addition to all this, Jacob experienced the grace of God in the delay of 14 plus years. It was this delay which contributed to the preservation of Jacob’s life by keeping him away from the anger of Esau, who had purposed to kill him.

Amazingly, the grace of God was manifested in this event by the gift of Leah as a wife to Jacob. Leah was Jacobs first wife. It was Leah, not Rachel, who became the mother of Judah, who was to be the heir through whom the Messiah would come. Also it was Levi, a son of Leah, who provided the priestly line in later years.

God comes to Leah's defense. The Lord is the defender of the broken-hearted. Certainly as a result of this a relationship did seem to develop between Jacob and Leah. He may not have loved her the most, but he did seem to love her.

God is Holy but His followers are not. We have read this morning of people who made mistakes. Yet, these are people God chose and used to bring about our salvation.

Do you see why this is significant? Some of you may have been putting off following Jesus because of the hypocrisy of some of claim his name? You have misunderstood the gospel It's God who is holy not his followers. Yes, there are many who claim to love Christ who show no resemblance to the Savior at all. Friend, there will always be that in the church. Look to Jesus!

You may have written others off because they do not "measure up". Friend, be careful. Jesus tells us that the measure we use in judging others will be the measure that is applied to you. Can you life up to the standards that you hold others to?  Some of you are desperately discouraged because your life does not measure up to what you wish it would be. You need to remember that being holy is something granted to us by faith in Christ. Then we grow in incorporated the works of God in our lifetime. Be confident of God  be patient with yourself. The process of growth should be steady  Don't get discouraged and give up. When you stumble, get up, confess your sin and begin again.

The wonder of this story is that it points us to Jesus. The whole purpose of our Savior's coming and His substitutionary death was to pay for our rebellion. We are all in desperate need of a Savior simply because God is holy and we are not. He requires perfection . . . we don't come close to meeting his standard. We need someone to rescue us. That someone is Jesus. His death on the cross was to pay the price of our sin.

The wonder of the Gospel of Jesus Christ is this: God knows what we are like. He knows the duplicity in our hearts and the rebellion that often governs our lives. And knowing this . . . knowing what we were really like . . . He still sent Christ for us. We deserve to spend eternity facing the horror of Hell. That's what we deserve! But Christ came to offer us a way out.  He offered to take our place; to suffer our penalty; to make us new. He comes to us in our foolishness and rebellion and offers us a chance to start again. You see, If God loved Jacob, Rachel, and Leah . . .God can and will love you. The question is: will you receive that love?

Pastor Dale