Sermon Nuggets Mon Jan 11
Theme: Winsome Witness
Verses- Col 4:3-6 And pray for us, too, that God may open a door for our message, so that we may proclaim the mystery of Christ, for which I am in chains.
4 Pray that I may proclaim it clearly, as I should.
5 Be wise in the way you act toward outsiders; make the most of every opportunity.
6 Let your conversation be always full of grace, seasoned with salt, so that you may know how to answer everyone.
Winsome Witness
Perhaps it was yesterday's sermon on the plagues of Egypt. Perhaps it as the news about another earthquake Saturday in California. Perhaps it was the news of both Egypt and Malaysia seeing attacked and Christians killed while they were at worship this week. But warnings of being ready to meet the Lord is as important as ever when we talk about eternal things.
I thought of my Geology professor at Michigan State University who transferred from working for Shell Oil Company in California to return to his native state of Michigan. His main reason for his moved was the evidence of the coming major earthquake that will split California. I graduated in the 60s and assume my professor is dead never seeing his prediction come true. He did not give a date but looked at the data and said a major earthquake can and will cause the fault to split.
We keep predicting the return of Jesus. It hasn’t happened in 2,000 years. So it is easy to be apathetic and maybe skeptical of the reality of this event. Either people were misguided, or it is real and we should prepare people to be ready.
Frederick Ivor-Campbell is best known as a baseball historian. He is the author of many books and biographies on baseball and its greats. He died in a car accident this last summer. However he wrote a parable called “The Night After the Hurricane”. In his story the character, Bryerhoff Michaels, had seen the world was aware how reinforce concrete block made foundation of coastline houses secure in storms. For many years the people of Saltport, where he lived, had built their houses upon foundation of sandstone blocks, quarried by a local company.
Bryerhoff’s visit to another port town, Calm Harbor, revealed how all the homes were had reinforced concrete foundations and none were affected by the storms. So he was glad to tell his neighbors of this good news and the need to reinforce their homes.
Every year the nor’easter struck Saltport. The heavy winds and driving rains and high tides so weakened the sandstone that several families found it necessary to replace their foundations with the blocks. But it was expensive and time consuming. Still they trusted their friend Bryerhoff and saw the improvements for themselves.
He also rebuilt his home and talked with his friends of this superior foundation. But traditions are hard to break and the laughter and rejection of his enthusiasm soon caused him to keep quiet. He tried to persuade some of the others with the reinforced concrete foundations to join him in sharing this news but they were busy with other work and recreation activities. Nothing more was done.
Then a hurricane suddenly hit Saltport without warning at midnight. Bryerhoff’s house stood firm on its new foundation as did those of his followers, but the houses of those who laughed, ignored, refused, and those who had not heard were destroyed. Not one remained. Since the hurricane when everyone was asleep, their families were blown and washed away with their homes.
The remaining friends gathered and thought if they had known for sure the hurricane was coming they would certainly have been knocking on doors and shouting on street corners, but now there was no left to listen and be saved. It was hard to be happy.
I think this was Ivor-Campbell's way of retelling his freinds the parable of the wise mand and the foolish man from Matt 7:24ff.
The Apostle Paul was so concerned that people be ready to the meet the Lord that his passion could not be contained. However, in someone's enthusiasm of sharing the truth of God, a witness can get in the way of the message. We have seen people who have been so offensive in their approach about God that it has turned people away from truth. In order not to be offensive it is easy to remain silent. Or sometimes to be liked by others there is the temptation to water down the message of salvation. Or in our day, we are taught everyone has a right to believe what they want. We live and promote freedom of religion. Any forced faith is not real faith.
But our society also goes beyond that and teaches therefore what anybody believes is their own business and we should never try to persuade someone to change their religious views. Then we leave people lost forever. That approach is not what God's word teaches.
There are some important things needed to be a winsome witness. That is our topic from this chapter this week.
Pastor Dale
Sermon Nuggets Tues Jan 12
Verses- Col 4:3 And pray for us, too, that God may open a door for our message, so that we may proclaim the mystery of Christ, for which I am in chains.
To be a Winsome Witness you need Consistent Prayer
Last week’s thoughts centered on the importance of prayer. Sharing the good news of Jesus Christ is not a human task, it is a spiritual one. We can do nothing on our own of significance.
I believe one of the draw backs on many good intended people is they come up with their own methods of evangelism that is based on human persuasion. They might brag about how many they have led to the Lord, but heaven holds different statistics. True salvation comes by the conviction of the Holy Spirit on their heart of their sin and the need of Jesus to save them.
We however must be people of constant prayer that God will use our words and our actions for His work. When nothing seems to be happening, it is easy to want to quit praying. Satan wants to convince us it doesn't seem to make any difference. There might be people you have been praying for years. Don't stop praying.
Some might stop praying because they are so busy. There is so much to do we often don't take the time for personal conversations with God. Many turn to prayer when we are in trouble or realize there is a problem beyond their capabilities. Is that the way you would want your children to relate to you? Come to you only when there is a need or problem?
Teachers, do you prepare your Sunday School lessons without prayer? Committee members, do you try to do your responsibilities without prayer? As the praise team meets it is easy to want to use the time practicing, but I'm glad they pray. We desire to praise and that is a spiritual activity not a human one.
Prayer is not a magical ritual that elicits some mystical button that causes divine blessing. It is a means of bringing our hearts to God and admitting that we are needy- without him we can do nothing. Prayer is to get our hearts changed. It is the desires to see God more fully and be used to glorify him all that we do, in teaching, in preaching, in singing, in sharing the good news that God be honored and people might know the truth and be free. Someone said, "God's delays are not always God's denials.” Don't quit praying.
In Colossae, Paul saw spiritual conflict going on that they didn't see. There were problems with people who were distorting the truth. The people needed to pray discerning God will. They needed the Holy Spirit's wisdom. God did not want them abusing their authorities in their relationships. Problems persisted because they didn't want to obey the Lord. Husband and wives, children and parent and workers and management they needed to be alert to problems of authority and give both their rights and their authority over to God so He could do His work of making them witnesses in their community.
This new year is a wonderful time to ask God to lay on your heart people to pray that they come to faith in Christ. Pray that the Lord would speak to them and to you as to a way to share your testimony or invitation to come church, or read a book to discuss, or a special event. Show them you care, but begin by prayer they their eyes may be opened of their need for Christ.
Paul asked for specific prayer of the church that God would give him open doors, that the message can be proclaimed. Remember Paul is in prison. But he didn't ask to be released from prison, or for a new camel, or a bigger better house, or better food, but rather people might get saved in his work.
I need to learn as Paul did the longing heart that thirsts for God, and the burning desire that others know God.
Pray that God will open up conversations at work, at school, in your neighborhood that you can share the message of hope in Jesus.
Pastor Dale
Sermon nuggets Wed Jan 13
Verse- Col 4:4 Pray that I may proclaim it clearly, as I should.
A Winsome witness needs a Clear Presentation
In addition to prayer Paul reminds us in his request that the message needs to be clear. As you look at the context Paul is first asking for prayer for himself that the message be clear, but later reminds them what is important also in their conversations that they be good witnesses for Christ.
I am so happy for many of you who pray for me and Isaac and Paul.
I am happy for the people who come out at 8:30 to the prayer room before our Sunday begins. Pray that the whole story is clear.
Paul is not only looking for open opportunities, but also clarity.
What is this mystery he wants to preach? The message that is conveyed too often in our society sounds a little like this: "Here is Jesus standing outside your hearts door and wants so much to come in. Won't you pity him and please, please let him in? Then you will have all kinds of good things happen to you, and you'll live happily ever after."
Yes, it is absolutely true that God loves you and does have a wonderful plan for your life. It is also true that if you don't humble yourself before God of the universe and repent of your pride and sin and pled for mercy for forgiveness by trusting only in the death of Jesus to save you, there is a horrible plan for your life. Ignoring God's gift separates you forever in Hell.
Salvation is not for those who are only looking for something to add to their life, like another high, or kick. Salvation is being saved from God's wrath against your sin. We are like drowning people who without salvation go into a lost eternity.
Notice he began his message making people realize that they are alienated form God and enemies due to their evil and sinful behavior. Because of our lying, anger, hatred, selfishnesses, lack of concern for others, unwillingness to help the poor; our prejudiced against other races, our stingy in giving to God, our lust, immorality, lustful hearts our sexual sins, pornography, our gluttony our jealous, gossip, we killed Jesus and deserve to have Gods punishment upon us.
Jesus said unless you repent you will all likewise perish. The key to rebellion is selfishness.
But reconciliation with God is possible for Jews and Gentiles for Swedes and Americans, but blacks and white and rich and poor. It is because of what Jesus Christ did on the cross. He suffered in his physical body, shed his blood so we can be forgiven of everything we ever did or thought. But it isn't just a prayer that we speak like magic formula, it is the heart commitment to want to follow Jesus.
Notice v. 23. if you continue in your faith not moved. Hope is yours. Not a wish, but confidence based on the works of Jesus Christ. Jesus said to his disciples if anyone would come after me he must deny himself and take up his cross and follow me. Whoever wants to save his life will lose and whoever loses his life will find it. "
The clear message is us knocking on God's door saying be merciful to me a sinner. God by his grace and mercy, not our works and worth, comes into our lives. He becomes the new owner of your body, soul, and spirit. Pray that the message and presentation will be clear.
Have you come to place in your life when you have had enough of controlling your life your way? It is time to give your heart to Christ and let him rule. It is time to turn from selfishness to rulership. That opportunity is available to you today.
As a Christian you might be reluctant to share you testimony with anyone because you are not sure how to do that. Let me give you a suggestion. A testimony involves three things. Your life before Jesus; Don't make it dramatic, but make it real. There was something very important lacking in your life. Then explain how you came to know about Jesus. What is it that is important to know? I was a sinner, I cannot save myself, Jesus died for my sin and I turned my life over to God. Now I am seeking to follow him by his power and word. Then life after you became a Christian, maybe it included struggles, maybe failed, but now there is the power of God available to be with you and me and to change us. We are not along. It is your story. Maybe you should write down. Ask someone to read it in the church. Then ask a friend to read it outside the church. Ask them if it is clear and understandable. Then ask someone if you can tell your story and let God take it from there.
Pastor Dale
Sermon Nugget Thur Jan 14
Verse-Col 4:5 Be wise in the way you act toward outsiders; make the most of every opportunity.
A winsome Witness needs a Careful Procedure
Be wise in how you act among those who do not know the Lord yet. Do you know that God wants you to be his witness wherever you go, at school, at work, on vacation, at home, in the neighborhood? It makes a difference how you live. That is a witness. Our plan is to bring outsiders to know Jesus Christ. Proverbs 11:30 says, "He who is wise wins souls" We need to be careful not to say or do anything that would make it difficult to share the gospel. Let us therefore not give opportunity to cheapening the gospel by the way we act toward them or toward one another.
It is pretty hard to witness at work if you gossip, lie, or cheat. It is hard to show the love of Christ if you are putting others down. Earning the right to be heard comes with consistent Christian living.
Even when we go to do short term missions it would be foolish to ignore the advice of those who work with folks from a different culture and sub-culture. A wise procedure is learning how they interact. What is the dress code? What are things that are offensive? What makes a good witness within that culture? We need to understand the way people live and act so they are not an offense to them and the Gospel may be presented. That is part of being wise as serpents and gentle as doves.
To know God and his wisdom takes us back to 3:16 "Let he word of Christ richly dwell within you with all wisdom teaching and admonishing one another." Wisdom comes from letting the word of Christ dwell richly in you. This comes with meditation and obedience to the word of God, in addition to how you might live among your neighbors and friends.
I Cor 9:20-22 “I become all things to all men that I might by all means save some." says Paul. His careful procedure is to meet people where they are at, learn to be interested in some of the things they are interested in, yet not participating in sin
A careful procedure might be to make friendship with folks and do things with them that demonstrate a sincere and genuine love. People see and understand that. Many in the unchurched world are open to knowing God especially if someone they know and appreciate has a real faith. Do you ever pray how you might be a witness to people God brings along your path? Such a plan might be to visit them when there is illness, or when they are undergoing problems.
Jesus had a procedure when he healed the sick and gave food to the hungry. It was they might hear truth. Some responded and others did not.
Make the most of opportunities. We can't plant where the spirit hasn't first plowed. But if we pray for open doors, the Lord will provide them. Are you praying that God give you opportunities to share the story with them? The reason God brings some people your way is that you are to be part of the team of believers he wants to use to influence them for Heaven. God will not ask you to do anything he doesn't prepare or provide for you to do.
We have a commission to go and be witness in our world. He has given to us the power to do that. We have the truth that the world needs. It is at our disposal. We fail to make use of the opportunity. How long will we continue to have the freedom of sharing the good news? Maybe in our life time these privileges will be closed to us, not to mention that we never know how long before we die. Are you prepared tonight to meet God? If you were to go to God and you are sure of that because of your faith in Christ, are you walking in his ways seeking to use your gifts and abilities to advance His Kingdom?
Look for opportunities to share. Be Christ like in your procedures.
Pastor Dale
Sermon nuggets Fri Jan 15
Verse- Col 4: 6 Let your conversation be always full of grace, seasoned with salt, so that you may know how to answer everyone.
A winsome witness is a Considerate Person.
There is one final reminder and that is you need to be a considerate
person. Many over zealous persons can seek to witness by stuffing faith down the throat of another or have a condemning attitude that keeps people from listening. People need to hear the message of the gospel of Christ, but if they won’t listen because we are inconsiderate we have failed.
Paul went from city to city preaching the mystery of Christ. Some were eager to hear and others who hostile. Was hostility due to his offensive personally? No. Christianity is not coercive. It does not use the sword, manipulation, or brainwashing. But it does proclaim and persuade and plead and pray. People who are confronted with sin in their lives do not like it. To say you need a savior means changing one’s ways and the thought that it demands a response will may some folks wish you would keep your opinions to yourself.
Now remember the message may be offensive, the methods we use need not be. We need to be considerate in our approach to others. Last week when Fox news commentator and former news anchor, Bret Hume, shared the importance for Tiger Woods to find faith in Christianity, secularist screamed foul. They felt that had no place on public airwaves from a person of his stature. Why? Was he being rude? Was he telling the truth? Was he being offensive in his demeanor or presentation? Not at all. Our secular society does not want God and any mention of him to some is offensive. Yet when the tragedy of Haiti is before us, news personnel on all channels talk about the need for coming together and praying for the people. They show Christian prayer services and announce where you can go to such events.
I am a firm believer that God has already plowed the field where He wants the seed of faith to grow. If someone is not open to the gospel then don't force it. We are representing the best thing this world has to offer. I believe that. I don't have to use misrepresentation for people to Christ. If they are not ready to receive Christ freely, there is no true conversion. You and I must seek to be considerate persons so God can use however He wants in the life of another. Never argue or debate with another, because that is a sure sign their heart isn't ready yet. Paul and Peter would argue in a group setting however. When some would listen and others antagonize them it prevented the seekers from responding. They answered the objections and arguments so others would listen. But even in that there is to be consideration as Christ had. He confronted evil. But for seekers his speech showed sin, the need for faith, and demanded a response. Whether a person believed or not was left to them.
Satan's plan is to keep people confused, apathetic or blind to truth. Therefore use any open opportunity that may come up to share God's truth. Go as far as they are interested and if they close the conversation it will be better in the long run to let the Spirit of God use what was said until they are ready for the next step.
Jesus shared, “Let your light so shine among men that they may see your good work and give God the glory.”
Having a conversations seasoned with salt means that it adds flavor, it produces a thirst for more. Jesus was the master at this making the message clear and plain in a way that His hearer understood. He gave farming illustrations, talked to a lady about living water when she came to a well. He discussed philosophy and theology with Nicodemus. He used illustrations about sheep and fish and building and sweeping a house among the workers of the town.
Luke 4:22 And all wondered at his gracious word which proceeds out of His mouth. He knew how to season his conversations with salt. He wants us all to know how to answer all. We Know the Word by studying it. If someone asks you a question you do not know, admit it and agree to find out the answer and get back to them.
How can you be a winsome witness? You need consistent prayer;
A clear presentation, careful procedure, and be a considerate person; then watch what God will do.
Pastor Dale
Friday, January 15, 2010
Friday, January 8, 2010
Considering Prayer Col 4:2-4
Sermon Nuggets Mon Jan 4
Theme Considering Prayer
Verses Col 4:2-4
2 Devote yourselves to prayer, being watchful and thankful.
3 And pray for us, too, that God may open a door for our message, so that we may proclaim the mystery of Christ, for which I am in chains.
4 Pray that I may proclaim it clearly, as I should.
CONSIDERING PRAYER
This is the beginning of prayer week at Stanchfield. Traditionally the Baptist General Conference would call for prayer at the beginning of a new year and give our suggestions as to how we might promote prayer in the church. We used to have a director of prayer ministries, Dana Olson, who came to Stanchfield and led us in prayer gatherings.
The Region also had pastoral prayer retreats and our district had two last year where pastors could go overnight and pray together, led by Vic Winquist.
Bethel had a memorable prayer conference a few years ago bringing in wonderful speakers. The mixture of the enthusiasm and commitment of George Verwer and the patient and loving spirit of Eugene Peterson brought a balance of servants of God who have experienced the power of God in their ministries. The call to prayer by David Bryant was exciting. Through his ministry 1,000s and millions are commitment themselves to regular prayer. It is exciting to realize that prayer effort precedes revivals and there have been prayer concerts and gatherings all over America and indeed the world that has been unprecedented in our nation.
More people are fasting today that I ever remember before I started the pastorate. We at Stanchfield had a couple of all night prayer meetings in the past. There has been an increased emphasis on missions, and a fervor of zealous believers commitment themselves to reach the unreached people of the world to the point of willing to sacrifice their lives for the cause of Christ.
Christianity is not a faith of convenience. It is a faith of conviction, and commitment.
However, it has never been and never will be a true faith if it is by the works of men. It must be the works of God. God has chosen us to be his servants and as elected prayer to be an essential activity to prepare us and to share his grace.
I believe in prayer. There are some skeptics that will tell us prayer makes no difference whatsoever. What happens and what will be will be. This fatalistic approach explains why some prayers go unanswered and other prayers are answered.
Interestingly I read a study in Reader’s Digest were a group of patients were prayed for who had similar diseases and ailments. There was a group that was not prayed for. The Doctors did not know who was in each group. The study concluded that the patients who had regularly been prayed for got better quicker than the ones who did not. And this did not include the personal faith and prayers of those who were in the group not prayed for by religious volunteers.
If prayer doesn't make any difference then why does God command for us to pray? If it is a useless exercise why do you find every key figure in the Bible a man or woman pray? We were made for God our friendship can only grow when we communicate and talk and share in dialogue, not just in Monologue.
Paul in the book of Colossians was addressing the people concerning false doctrine. As he concludes this little letter he gives them pointed, no nonsense advice. He calls them to prayer. He knows heartfelt conversation with God makes a difference.
Pastor Dale
Sermon Nuggets Tues Jan 5
Verse Col 4:2 Devote yourselves to prayer, being watchful and thankful.
Effective praying is Faithful Praying.
It is easy to quit praying when it doesn’t appear to be working the way we want it to. We find ourselves asking “Why bother? God isn't answering me.”
Paul instructs the church to continue in prayer. Devote yourselves to prayer; be faithful in your prayers. In other words don't stop praying. Make prayer a high priority in your lives as well. Prayer is not just a Sunday thing, nor it is sufficient for effectiveness to pray only at meal times, or when problems happen. God desires daily and regular communication.
Thessalonians tells us to "Pray without ceasing."
What does that mean? Does that mean walking around like the Hasidic
Jews with a prayer book going down the street? Or to have some rosary beads that your go over and over again in your hand so as to pray while you're riding in a car? No. It means to have the life that is always open to God and be open in your thoughts and communication to Him through out your day. A heart that grows is aware of God's realness and closeness. But I also think we need to schedule time without any distraction for concentrated prayer. Is He alive to you? Are you continually aware of his constant presence and leading?
Richard Dortch was the administrator for the PTL Club with Jimmy and Tammy Faye Bakker. He told Christianity Today after the fall of the ministry, "At PTL, there was no time taken for prayer or for family because the show had to go on. We were so caught up in God's work that we forgot about God. It took the tragedy, the kick in the teeth, to bring us to our senses."
God promised Israel a new land, a land of "great and splendid cities ...houses full of good things..vineyards and olive trees..and you shall eat and be satisfied,” But the promise of grand blessing came with a stern warning "watch yourself, lest you forget the Lord..." (Deut. 6)
When the apostles were so caught up in the administration of church duties do you remember what they did? They picked church deacons to be servers so the apostles would not be kept from their calling of preaching the word and prayer. They saw the continual faithful time for prayer of greater importance than the daily work of the church.
In Luke 11 we read the parable of a visitor coming to his friend’s house at midnight asking for bread because he needed it for people that stopped to stay with them.
"Go away" the neighbor said. Still if you keep it up he'll give the bread just so he can go back to bed. Let’s not read more into the parable than what is intended. Do we bother God? Does he consider our requests and prayers a nuisance? Not at all. The point is persistence in prayer and if someone who is a neighbor who doesn't want to be bothered will answer your request, how much more is God who loves you and who never sleeps and desires communication with you, ready to answer according to his good will. The lesson was on persistence. The point wasn’t to wear out the patience of the Lord, but the faithfulness of keep on praying faithfully.
I do wonder sometimes if God doesn't delay the answers to increase our faith and devotion and to accomplish his purpose at the right time--but many give up too soon in prayer. Someone said, "God's delays are not always God's denials." Don't quit. God tells us repeatedly to continually and persistently pray. He will answer for our good and for our growth.
Pastor Dale
Sermon Nuggets Weds Jan 6
Verse- Col 4:2 Devote yourselves to prayer, being watchful and thankful.
Effective praying is Watchful Praying
The word watchful, implies alertness and responsiveness. This word is used in the story about the 5 wise and 5 foolish virgins. When the Lord comes 5 are out of oil and 5 are prepared and ready to follow the bridegroom. We are then told be wise, and be watchful for you know not what day the Lord will come. Part of being watchful is expectant, looking for the answer to one's prayers.
Jesus said to his disciples on another occasion, "Watch and pray that you enter not into temptation." In one of Paul’s letters he tells the church to be watchful for Satan is walking about like a roaring lion seeking whom he can devour. Be alert to spiritual danger and temptation that is around you.
Our praying needs to be that way. The first time this was used in connection with prayer was when Nehemiah was building the walls in Jerusalem. The enemies were trying to stop the project. They prayed, they worked and they were ready to fight.
In Colossians there were problems with people distorting the truth. They people needed to pray discerning God's will and not man's will. They need to pray realizing that problems can mount up quickly and they need the Holy Spirit's wisdom. In terms of husbands and wives, children and parents, slave and masters, they needed to be alert to those problems of authority.
Practical application of being watching in prayer for me means to work at thinking about what I am praying. Don’t just spout off pious words. When I do not feel like praying, I am alert to the fact that Satan is gaining a victory in my life and I seek to do it anyway. Or I'll be praying and my mind wonders. It is hard to concentrate. Does that ever happen to you? I think about all the things I should be doing, or people I need to talk to. I found writing down on a slip of paper the things that come to my mind that I don't want to forget. Sometimes I pray about them. But I'm able to get on with prayer knowing I can come back to my paper at a more appropriate time.
Secondly, I am using prayer lists more these days. Sometimes I pray about different things on different days. I have requests that I pray about weekly and requests that I pray about daily. I have at times written down a specific prayer request that someone has asked me to pray about and then when there is an answer, I will jot down the date and the answer to that prayer. That exercise helped me to be watchful for the solution to the request that I might have ignored otherwise.
Do you have a problem with alertness and watchfulness in prayer? Then pray about that. Even before you pray ask the Lord to bring to your mind the things that your wish to pray about. I believe prayer is the mighty weapon for spiritual victory and a must when we are involved in spiritual warfare.
Confession and repentance is part of being watchful as well. "Forgive us our trespasses as we forgive those who trespass against us. And lead us not into temptation but deliver us from evil." How can we seek God's will for our lives when we are harboring sin and grudges and bitterness against others in our heart? How can we expect God to answer prayer unless we are alert to selfish motives? Beware of lusting for things for our own glory, and desiring things that really are not good for us. We need to ask forgiveness when we see how self-serving so many of our prayers really are. If you think that you don't struggle and wrestle with sin and temptation then I doubt you are watchful in praying.
Pastor Dale
Sermon Nuggets Thurs Jan 7
Verse- Col 4:2 Devote yourselves to prayer, being watchful and thankful.
Effective praying is Thankful Praying.
It is important to center our minds on the grace and blessing of God in our lives. Think of His benefits and our hearts will say, "Praise the Lord". We are put to shame when reminded of how thankful Paul is even when he wrote this letter from prison.
Col 1:3 We always thank God, the Father of our Lord Jesus Christ, when we pray for you,… vs 11,12… being strengthened with all power according to his glorious might so that you may have great endurance and patience, and joyfully giving thanks to the Father, who has qualified you to share in the inheritance of the saints in the kingdom of light.
2:7 rooted and built up in him, strengthened in the faith as you were taught, and overflowing with thankfulness.
Col 3:15-17 Let the peace of Christ rule in your hearts, since as members of one body you were called to peace. And be thankful.
Let the word of Christ dwell in you richly as you teach and admonish one another with all wisdom, and as you sing psalms, hymns and spiritual songs with gratitude in your hearts to God.
And whatever you do, whether in word or deed, do it all in the name of the Lord Jesus, giving thanks to God the Father through him.
There is something to the thought of positive thinking affects our attitude. Christians ought to be thankful people.
When I think of all places in the world where I could have been born, I am thankful for the blessings of this nation. What would the likelihood of anyone one of us be Christians if we were born in an atheistic country, or be among the millions that are Buddhists, or Muslims, where less than 2% are Christians. When I think of all the homes within American I could have been born into I am grateful to God for Christian parents and upbringing. When I think of the various generations into which I could have been born what joy to be in a world with the benefits of this day, but mostly the joy of the opportunity to hear the good news of Jesus.
Paul is writing to people that are first, and perhaps some second generation Christians. They know the blindness, they know the futility of life without Christ and now they know the liberty of believing in Jesus who is the truth the way and the life.
Sometimes I get a little impatient when comments that I hear by believers and sometimes in my lower moments I am tempted to speak like them as well. "Although I am a Christian I struggle with sickness, I don't have enough money to live on, I'm all alone, Yet, I'm supposed to be thankful. How can I thank God for anything?"
The Bible tells us to be thankful for all things, and in everything give thanks. What a wonder to know that your sins are forgiven and you are a member of God's family. What a privilege to be able to respond and carry his word and read it in a language that we can understand. What a joy to worship together with fellow Christians in freedom. Think of the many that will go into everlasting judgment and Hell. God saved us from torment. Think of the riches of the Kingdom of glory reserved for us who believe.
We have too often centered so long in what we do not have that we need to confess that sin of covetousness and look at all we have because of God's blessing. Many are like the little children on Christmas who get excited over the presents and after the time of opening them is over ask disappointedly, “is this all? How come I didn't get Micro astronaut Barbie slinky?”
There was a lady who lost her son by death. She felt extremely bitter and naturally full of anguish. She did not get over that loss and was talking with a friend of hers who was childless in her marriage. Her response was sincere, but quiet, "at least you had a son." From that moment on she said she had thanked God every day for the blessing that she failed to realize. She thanks God for what she had received, rather than that which had been taken from her. Her attitude also changed as she saw the blessing that could not be taken from her because of the years she had with her son.
During the presentation on the Passover the Jews recite a prayer that looks at God’s grace. He brought them out of Egypt, if that was all he had done it would have been enough, but indeed in executed judgment on his enemies, the Egyptians, that would have sufficed, but on their gods, more given us their wealth, more, split the seas, more and the list goes on.
It would have been enough had Jesus visited this planet, but he did more, enough to show us how to live, to be forgiven from sin, to save from hell, to grant us heaven, but gave us Himself to live and dwell with us now and forever. Pray with thankful hearts.
Pastor Dale
Sermon Nuggets Fri Jan 8
Verses- 3,4 And pray for us, too, that God may open a door for our message, so that we may proclaim the mystery of Christ, for which I am in chains. Pray that I may proclaim it clearly, as I should.
Effective praying is Specific Praying.
Pray for others. Paul is in prison and yet notice his prayer request-“That the door might be opened to spread the gospel.” Praying specifically for others is tremendous responsibility.
F.B. Meyer told of a preacher who was marvelously used of God. He dreamed on night that he was beginning to take pride in himself and his gifts. But an angel told him that his success was due primarily to a poor widow who sat regularly at the foot of his pulpit and never ceased to pray for him.
I was encouraged by the folks who in spite of the cold, came these evenings to pray. I wish the numbers were more. I wish there were more to join us at 8:30 AM Sunday mornings for prayer. I wish there were more who came out Monday evenings. But more important than a crowd of people is heart felt desire to approach God in prayer and be intercessors for each other. Paul realized personal prayers are essential. He also knew like minded people to gather together in prayer is effective.
Another church in the cities has people praying for prayer requests and for the service while the service is going on.
There is the temptation to believe Christ is sufficient for all our needs which is true. But Scripture teaches He often chooses to use other believers to help do his work. Paul was not ashamed to ask his friends to pray for him and tell of his needs and he was even an apostle. He needed prayer. He asked for it from people who really were not as mature in the faith as he was. Does that surprise you? He realized the prayers of the saints are important for his ministry.
Christ himself requested of his disciples their prayers for him and with him in the garden of Gethsemane. If Paul and our Lord desired prayer how much more do you and I need this specific pray for specific needs?
Paul didn't ask to be released from prison, or for a new camel to ride, or a bigger and better house but that the doors would be open to have the gospel preached and that people might be saved.
The purpose of prayer is not so much to get man's will done in heaven, but to get God's will done on earth.
Paul fills out his prayer request card. What does it say? It says "Pray for us” He is asking for prayer for the ministering team with him. I think it is the Mark, Aristarchus, Luke, Justus, and Epaphras, (see v. 12), “who is one of who, a servant of Christ Jesus, He is always wrestling in prayer for you, that you may stand firm in all the will of God, mature and fully assured."
What does it mean that he is wresting in prayer for you? The people are so deeply on his mind and heart that he works at prayer, often, intensely, not as a show, but as a heartfelt desire to do spiritual battle against Satan to see victory in Christ.
As we enter into a new year what better time to wrestle in prayer for our community and our church to see the lost saved? Pray for me so I can clearly proclaim the mystery of Christ. Pray for our pastoral team, our Sunday School teachers, our club workers, our evangelists, our missionaries, that the Holy Spirit must bring home that word to peoples’ hearts to respond by faith to Jesus.
“Pray now that I many proclaim it clearly as I should.” Pray that I would be as Biblical as possibly, as practical as I am able, and as clear to the audience or the majority of people to whom I am speaking. But it isn't important that I am clear, but that the Holy Spirit takes that which is of Him and brings it home.
We need to be praying with attitude of watchfulness, desirous full of faith looking to see how He answers and how we might be the answer to prayer. We are looking for ways to be thankful for whatever he does and sometimes be thankful he does not answer our prayers the way we think he should. We need to be specific not for our own lusts and desires, but for that which would advance his eternal kingdom through us together.
Will you be part of the team interceding for us?
Pastor Dale
Theme Considering Prayer
Verses Col 4:2-4
2 Devote yourselves to prayer, being watchful and thankful.
3 And pray for us, too, that God may open a door for our message, so that we may proclaim the mystery of Christ, for which I am in chains.
4 Pray that I may proclaim it clearly, as I should.
CONSIDERING PRAYER
This is the beginning of prayer week at Stanchfield. Traditionally the Baptist General Conference would call for prayer at the beginning of a new year and give our suggestions as to how we might promote prayer in the church. We used to have a director of prayer ministries, Dana Olson, who came to Stanchfield and led us in prayer gatherings.
The Region also had pastoral prayer retreats and our district had two last year where pastors could go overnight and pray together, led by Vic Winquist.
Bethel had a memorable prayer conference a few years ago bringing in wonderful speakers. The mixture of the enthusiasm and commitment of George Verwer and the patient and loving spirit of Eugene Peterson brought a balance of servants of God who have experienced the power of God in their ministries. The call to prayer by David Bryant was exciting. Through his ministry 1,000s and millions are commitment themselves to regular prayer. It is exciting to realize that prayer effort precedes revivals and there have been prayer concerts and gatherings all over America and indeed the world that has been unprecedented in our nation.
More people are fasting today that I ever remember before I started the pastorate. We at Stanchfield had a couple of all night prayer meetings in the past. There has been an increased emphasis on missions, and a fervor of zealous believers commitment themselves to reach the unreached people of the world to the point of willing to sacrifice their lives for the cause of Christ.
Christianity is not a faith of convenience. It is a faith of conviction, and commitment.
However, it has never been and never will be a true faith if it is by the works of men. It must be the works of God. God has chosen us to be his servants and as elected prayer to be an essential activity to prepare us and to share his grace.
I believe in prayer. There are some skeptics that will tell us prayer makes no difference whatsoever. What happens and what will be will be. This fatalistic approach explains why some prayers go unanswered and other prayers are answered.
Interestingly I read a study in Reader’s Digest were a group of patients were prayed for who had similar diseases and ailments. There was a group that was not prayed for. The Doctors did not know who was in each group. The study concluded that the patients who had regularly been prayed for got better quicker than the ones who did not. And this did not include the personal faith and prayers of those who were in the group not prayed for by religious volunteers.
If prayer doesn't make any difference then why does God command for us to pray? If it is a useless exercise why do you find every key figure in the Bible a man or woman pray? We were made for God our friendship can only grow when we communicate and talk and share in dialogue, not just in Monologue.
Paul in the book of Colossians was addressing the people concerning false doctrine. As he concludes this little letter he gives them pointed, no nonsense advice. He calls them to prayer. He knows heartfelt conversation with God makes a difference.
Pastor Dale
Sermon Nuggets Tues Jan 5
Verse Col 4:2 Devote yourselves to prayer, being watchful and thankful.
Effective praying is Faithful Praying.
It is easy to quit praying when it doesn’t appear to be working the way we want it to. We find ourselves asking “Why bother? God isn't answering me.”
Paul instructs the church to continue in prayer. Devote yourselves to prayer; be faithful in your prayers. In other words don't stop praying. Make prayer a high priority in your lives as well. Prayer is not just a Sunday thing, nor it is sufficient for effectiveness to pray only at meal times, or when problems happen. God desires daily and regular communication.
Thessalonians tells us to "Pray without ceasing."
What does that mean? Does that mean walking around like the Hasidic
Jews with a prayer book going down the street? Or to have some rosary beads that your go over and over again in your hand so as to pray while you're riding in a car? No. It means to have the life that is always open to God and be open in your thoughts and communication to Him through out your day. A heart that grows is aware of God's realness and closeness. But I also think we need to schedule time without any distraction for concentrated prayer. Is He alive to you? Are you continually aware of his constant presence and leading?
Richard Dortch was the administrator for the PTL Club with Jimmy and Tammy Faye Bakker. He told Christianity Today after the fall of the ministry, "At PTL, there was no time taken for prayer or for family because the show had to go on. We were so caught up in God's work that we forgot about God. It took the tragedy, the kick in the teeth, to bring us to our senses."
God promised Israel a new land, a land of "great and splendid cities ...houses full of good things..vineyards and olive trees..and you shall eat and be satisfied,” But the promise of grand blessing came with a stern warning "watch yourself, lest you forget the Lord..." (Deut. 6)
When the apostles were so caught up in the administration of church duties do you remember what they did? They picked church deacons to be servers so the apostles would not be kept from their calling of preaching the word and prayer. They saw the continual faithful time for prayer of greater importance than the daily work of the church.
In Luke 11 we read the parable of a visitor coming to his friend’s house at midnight asking for bread because he needed it for people that stopped to stay with them.
"Go away" the neighbor said. Still if you keep it up he'll give the bread just so he can go back to bed. Let’s not read more into the parable than what is intended. Do we bother God? Does he consider our requests and prayers a nuisance? Not at all. The point is persistence in prayer and if someone who is a neighbor who doesn't want to be bothered will answer your request, how much more is God who loves you and who never sleeps and desires communication with you, ready to answer according to his good will. The lesson was on persistence. The point wasn’t to wear out the patience of the Lord, but the faithfulness of keep on praying faithfully.
I do wonder sometimes if God doesn't delay the answers to increase our faith and devotion and to accomplish his purpose at the right time--but many give up too soon in prayer. Someone said, "God's delays are not always God's denials." Don't quit. God tells us repeatedly to continually and persistently pray. He will answer for our good and for our growth.
Pastor Dale
Sermon Nuggets Weds Jan 6
Verse- Col 4:2 Devote yourselves to prayer, being watchful and thankful.
Effective praying is Watchful Praying
The word watchful, implies alertness and responsiveness. This word is used in the story about the 5 wise and 5 foolish virgins. When the Lord comes 5 are out of oil and 5 are prepared and ready to follow the bridegroom. We are then told be wise, and be watchful for you know not what day the Lord will come. Part of being watchful is expectant, looking for the answer to one's prayers.
Jesus said to his disciples on another occasion, "Watch and pray that you enter not into temptation." In one of Paul’s letters he tells the church to be watchful for Satan is walking about like a roaring lion seeking whom he can devour. Be alert to spiritual danger and temptation that is around you.
Our praying needs to be that way. The first time this was used in connection with prayer was when Nehemiah was building the walls in Jerusalem. The enemies were trying to stop the project. They prayed, they worked and they were ready to fight.
In Colossians there were problems with people distorting the truth. They people needed to pray discerning God's will and not man's will. They need to pray realizing that problems can mount up quickly and they need the Holy Spirit's wisdom. In terms of husbands and wives, children and parents, slave and masters, they needed to be alert to those problems of authority.
Practical application of being watching in prayer for me means to work at thinking about what I am praying. Don’t just spout off pious words. When I do not feel like praying, I am alert to the fact that Satan is gaining a victory in my life and I seek to do it anyway. Or I'll be praying and my mind wonders. It is hard to concentrate. Does that ever happen to you? I think about all the things I should be doing, or people I need to talk to. I found writing down on a slip of paper the things that come to my mind that I don't want to forget. Sometimes I pray about them. But I'm able to get on with prayer knowing I can come back to my paper at a more appropriate time.
Secondly, I am using prayer lists more these days. Sometimes I pray about different things on different days. I have requests that I pray about weekly and requests that I pray about daily. I have at times written down a specific prayer request that someone has asked me to pray about and then when there is an answer, I will jot down the date and the answer to that prayer. That exercise helped me to be watchful for the solution to the request that I might have ignored otherwise.
Do you have a problem with alertness and watchfulness in prayer? Then pray about that. Even before you pray ask the Lord to bring to your mind the things that your wish to pray about. I believe prayer is the mighty weapon for spiritual victory and a must when we are involved in spiritual warfare.
Confession and repentance is part of being watchful as well. "Forgive us our trespasses as we forgive those who trespass against us. And lead us not into temptation but deliver us from evil." How can we seek God's will for our lives when we are harboring sin and grudges and bitterness against others in our heart? How can we expect God to answer prayer unless we are alert to selfish motives? Beware of lusting for things for our own glory, and desiring things that really are not good for us. We need to ask forgiveness when we see how self-serving so many of our prayers really are. If you think that you don't struggle and wrestle with sin and temptation then I doubt you are watchful in praying.
Pastor Dale
Sermon Nuggets Thurs Jan 7
Verse- Col 4:2 Devote yourselves to prayer, being watchful and thankful.
Effective praying is Thankful Praying.
It is important to center our minds on the grace and blessing of God in our lives. Think of His benefits and our hearts will say, "Praise the Lord". We are put to shame when reminded of how thankful Paul is even when he wrote this letter from prison.
Col 1:3 We always thank God, the Father of our Lord Jesus Christ, when we pray for you,… vs 11,12… being strengthened with all power according to his glorious might so that you may have great endurance and patience, and joyfully giving thanks to the Father, who has qualified you to share in the inheritance of the saints in the kingdom of light.
2:7 rooted and built up in him, strengthened in the faith as you were taught, and overflowing with thankfulness.
Col 3:15-17 Let the peace of Christ rule in your hearts, since as members of one body you were called to peace. And be thankful.
Let the word of Christ dwell in you richly as you teach and admonish one another with all wisdom, and as you sing psalms, hymns and spiritual songs with gratitude in your hearts to God.
And whatever you do, whether in word or deed, do it all in the name of the Lord Jesus, giving thanks to God the Father through him.
There is something to the thought of positive thinking affects our attitude. Christians ought to be thankful people.
When I think of all places in the world where I could have been born, I am thankful for the blessings of this nation. What would the likelihood of anyone one of us be Christians if we were born in an atheistic country, or be among the millions that are Buddhists, or Muslims, where less than 2% are Christians. When I think of all the homes within American I could have been born into I am grateful to God for Christian parents and upbringing. When I think of the various generations into which I could have been born what joy to be in a world with the benefits of this day, but mostly the joy of the opportunity to hear the good news of Jesus.
Paul is writing to people that are first, and perhaps some second generation Christians. They know the blindness, they know the futility of life without Christ and now they know the liberty of believing in Jesus who is the truth the way and the life.
Sometimes I get a little impatient when comments that I hear by believers and sometimes in my lower moments I am tempted to speak like them as well. "Although I am a Christian I struggle with sickness, I don't have enough money to live on, I'm all alone, Yet, I'm supposed to be thankful. How can I thank God for anything?"
The Bible tells us to be thankful for all things, and in everything give thanks. What a wonder to know that your sins are forgiven and you are a member of God's family. What a privilege to be able to respond and carry his word and read it in a language that we can understand. What a joy to worship together with fellow Christians in freedom. Think of the many that will go into everlasting judgment and Hell. God saved us from torment. Think of the riches of the Kingdom of glory reserved for us who believe.
We have too often centered so long in what we do not have that we need to confess that sin of covetousness and look at all we have because of God's blessing. Many are like the little children on Christmas who get excited over the presents and after the time of opening them is over ask disappointedly, “is this all? How come I didn't get Micro astronaut Barbie slinky?”
There was a lady who lost her son by death. She felt extremely bitter and naturally full of anguish. She did not get over that loss and was talking with a friend of hers who was childless in her marriage. Her response was sincere, but quiet, "at least you had a son." From that moment on she said she had thanked God every day for the blessing that she failed to realize. She thanks God for what she had received, rather than that which had been taken from her. Her attitude also changed as she saw the blessing that could not be taken from her because of the years she had with her son.
During the presentation on the Passover the Jews recite a prayer that looks at God’s grace. He brought them out of Egypt, if that was all he had done it would have been enough, but indeed in executed judgment on his enemies, the Egyptians, that would have sufficed, but on their gods, more given us their wealth, more, split the seas, more and the list goes on.
It would have been enough had Jesus visited this planet, but he did more, enough to show us how to live, to be forgiven from sin, to save from hell, to grant us heaven, but gave us Himself to live and dwell with us now and forever. Pray with thankful hearts.
Pastor Dale
Sermon Nuggets Fri Jan 8
Verses- 3,4 And pray for us, too, that God may open a door for our message, so that we may proclaim the mystery of Christ, for which I am in chains. Pray that I may proclaim it clearly, as I should.
Effective praying is Specific Praying.
Pray for others. Paul is in prison and yet notice his prayer request-“That the door might be opened to spread the gospel.” Praying specifically for others is tremendous responsibility.
F.B. Meyer told of a preacher who was marvelously used of God. He dreamed on night that he was beginning to take pride in himself and his gifts. But an angel told him that his success was due primarily to a poor widow who sat regularly at the foot of his pulpit and never ceased to pray for him.
I was encouraged by the folks who in spite of the cold, came these evenings to pray. I wish the numbers were more. I wish there were more to join us at 8:30 AM Sunday mornings for prayer. I wish there were more who came out Monday evenings. But more important than a crowd of people is heart felt desire to approach God in prayer and be intercessors for each other. Paul realized personal prayers are essential. He also knew like minded people to gather together in prayer is effective.
Another church in the cities has people praying for prayer requests and for the service while the service is going on.
There is the temptation to believe Christ is sufficient for all our needs which is true. But Scripture teaches He often chooses to use other believers to help do his work. Paul was not ashamed to ask his friends to pray for him and tell of his needs and he was even an apostle. He needed prayer. He asked for it from people who really were not as mature in the faith as he was. Does that surprise you? He realized the prayers of the saints are important for his ministry.
Christ himself requested of his disciples their prayers for him and with him in the garden of Gethsemane. If Paul and our Lord desired prayer how much more do you and I need this specific pray for specific needs?
Paul didn't ask to be released from prison, or for a new camel to ride, or a bigger and better house but that the doors would be open to have the gospel preached and that people might be saved.
The purpose of prayer is not so much to get man's will done in heaven, but to get God's will done on earth.
Paul fills out his prayer request card. What does it say? It says "Pray for us” He is asking for prayer for the ministering team with him. I think it is the Mark, Aristarchus, Luke, Justus, and Epaphras, (see v. 12), “who is one of who, a servant of Christ Jesus, He is always wrestling in prayer for you, that you may stand firm in all the will of God, mature and fully assured."
What does it mean that he is wresting in prayer for you? The people are so deeply on his mind and heart that he works at prayer, often, intensely, not as a show, but as a heartfelt desire to do spiritual battle against Satan to see victory in Christ.
As we enter into a new year what better time to wrestle in prayer for our community and our church to see the lost saved? Pray for me so I can clearly proclaim the mystery of Christ. Pray for our pastoral team, our Sunday School teachers, our club workers, our evangelists, our missionaries, that the Holy Spirit must bring home that word to peoples’ hearts to respond by faith to Jesus.
“Pray now that I many proclaim it clearly as I should.” Pray that I would be as Biblical as possibly, as practical as I am able, and as clear to the audience or the majority of people to whom I am speaking. But it isn't important that I am clear, but that the Holy Spirit takes that which is of Him and brings it home.
We need to be praying with attitude of watchfulness, desirous full of faith looking to see how He answers and how we might be the answer to prayer. We are looking for ways to be thankful for whatever he does and sometimes be thankful he does not answer our prayers the way we think he should. We need to be specific not for our own lusts and desires, but for that which would advance his eternal kingdom through us together.
Will you be part of the team interceding for us?
Pastor Dale
Friday, January 1, 2010
God's Workmen Col 3:22-4:1
Sermon Nuggets week of Dec 28- God’s Workmen
Theme- God’s Workmen
Verses-
Col 3:22-4:1
23 Whatever you do, work at it with all your heart, as working for the Lord, not for men,
24 since you know that you will receive an inheritance from the Lord as a reward. It is the Lord Christ you are serving.
25 Anyone who does wrong will be repaid for his wrong, and there is no favoritism.
4:1 Masters, provide your slaves with what is right and fair, because you know that you also have a Master in heaven.
God's Workmen
What a relief to come to a weekend and realize that most people ave a break from work. It seems that more jobs require week-end responsibilities as well as some get no days off. Many people long to leave the work-a-day world to escape labor and pursue their personal pleasures. God designed us to work and to rest. There is an important balance to make us whole and productive people. Whether one is employed or not work is designed by God for mankind.
I have been on committees for the conference with men and women who now in their retirement, or semi retirement put as much effort in their responsibilities as they did when they were employed. They loved what they do and feel fulfilled when they have something meaningful to do.
When I am at Study Break at Trout Lake Camp there is a force of retired men and women who are busy with building and cleaning buildings for campers. There are special project where some have the ability and training to now work for the Lord in electrical, plumbing, carpentry, sewing, painting tasks.
Rob Boyd of the Minnesota Baptist Conference is semi-retired but I don’t think anyone told him. When I asked him what he will be doing he said the same thing I’ve always been doing, only now have the freedom to take more vacations and days off. He loves what he does and cannot image not doing it, even if he is not getting as much money.
What a blessing if you work at a job you love. Unfortunately that is not case with everyone. And it is typical that at any job there are things most people enjoy and other things they do not enjoy. It is a mixture of fulfillment and frustration.
If you had all the money you could live on, and were allowed to continue your job for only expenses, would you do what you are doing? There are thankless jobs. I am sure that if it wasn't for the paycheck many jobs never done for not all work is pleasurable.
I found it hard to put myself in the shoes of factory workers in Russia who haven't been paid for 3 months. I think it would be hard to want to do a good job.
Other than the chores my Mother made me do at home, my worse job was working as a bus boy in a large University cafeteria for a few months. During the 1 to 1½ hours of lunch I was running, barked at by the boss, trying to hurry people out of their table to make room for more. It didn’t seem like a service to people, but treated as a machine never interacting with anyone. I didn’t like it. However hard anyone worked there was never any appreciation given by the employers or the customers.
Fortunately, after a few months I worked in the kitchen in a private sorority house waiting on pretty girls every day. What a happy change! The conditions were much better, the employee was someone I could talk to. The food they provided was much better than cafeteria food.
We live in a fantastic age where there are such a variety of jobs open to people. If you are at the point in your life of considering training for vocation, ask yourself what would you enjoy doing even if you were not get paid for it? Or what type of working environment would be ideal for you? Even if it doesn’t exist in reality, it gets you closer than a mismatch of gifts, interests and talents, unless it is honest work and you need the money to live. There is nothing wrong with that if it is honest work.
It is a far cry from the days when sons were expected to follow in their father's occupation, or take over the family business, even if they did not want it. Work is also part of the curse of the fall. It is with the sweat of the brow that man must labor, with thorns and thistles.
What is a chore for one is like recreation for another. It is a matter of perspective. For a worm digging in the hard ground is much more relaxing than going fishing.
In Colossians we are instructed to live up to our calling. Our new nature affect, not only our families, but also our relationships at work. Paul is writing to slaves and masters. This is not support for slavery as much as it is bringing faith into a society that already has slavery. 50% of the people were slaves. When people were brought to a saving faith in Jesus the Holy Spirit began to work in society. That's when slavery began to diminish. In I Cor 7:21 Paul tells slaves if possible to get their freedom. But he did not advocate rebellious overthrow of the government or the existing authorities.
Our faith affects our works and there are directive for Employees and Employers as we apply truth.
Pastor Dale
Sermon Nuggets Tues Dec 29 Quality of Work
Verse- Col 3:22 Slaves, obey your earthly masters in everything; and do it, not only when their eye is on you and to win their favor,
Quality of Work
When we have a new nature it affects our family life, as we have been discussing the last couple of weeks. And also affects our work life. When Paul’s letter is directed at slaves we can interpret these principles to all employees, who are under voluntary and paid arrangements for employment as people pay for your time for your services.
Slaves in that day had very little rights. But they did have responsibilities to represent Christ even in their work as a child of God. They were to be a witness to the Lord by working effectively.
Obedience seems like something a slave ought to do. When masters are in complete control do slaves have any options? Some with cruel masters can be killed or beaten for not obeying. Fortunately that is not the case any longer, under the law. But a good employee seeks to win the pleasure of his or her employer by following the rules and abiding by the guidelines of the company or place of employment. They would do well to reflect Jesus by having an attitude of wanting to do a good job. Christians should work differently. Obedience and seeking to win the favor of an employer are part of being a good effective workman (and workwoman. The apostle Paul also adds not just when the boss is looking at you, but with sincerity of heart and reverence for the Lord.
I remember working early mornings at the Farmer's Union Grain Terminal Association in St. Paul while I attended Bethel College. I was hired to work in the mail room. The personal director said, "We like to hire Bethel students because they are usually dependable."
When the boss was not around the other younger people employed in the mail room would have rubber band fights, and sneak off to the coffee shop. When passing the mail around the building, rather than come back when they were done, they would find places to hide and cheat on their time. Sometimes I was surprised how little work was being done. It seemed some worked at getting out of work.
One attendee of Stanchfield told me of his problem. He worked too well. As we worked with others his production was far greater and fellow employees got on his case lest the boss would require the same from them. He asked me what he should do. I advised him to remember who he really worked for. Then they began to sabotage his work. Unfortunately, I have seen that happen in the ministry when people who are upset with the pastor will offer false and misleading accusations to get them fired. God knows the whole story and many people find that the encouragement to do right even if they are wronged.
From time to time the secret investigative reporting team on a TV station would sneak around and show some police men or fire inspectors, or University employees, or government officials goofing off on the job, going home in the middle of the day on company pay and so forth. What type of testimony does that give the Christian if he or she acted that way? They are stealing from their employer. The employer or company is paying your time and services which they are not getting.
The story is told by a missionary in Africa about a foreman who was responsible for getting people to do certain jobs. He discovered that they were all rather lazy and would only perform while he was actually watching them. When he left they would stop work and do nothing until he returned. This man had a glass eye, and one day when his eye was irritating him he took it out and put it on a stump.
When he returned he found that everyone was still working because the "eye" as they thought, was watching them all the while he was away.
That is what the apostle means here- eye service, working only when the boss is watching.
This foreman thought had found a way to free himself, until one day he returned to discover that one of the workers had sneaked around from behind and put his hat over the eye, everyone was lounging around enjoying themselves without working. The thought no one was watching them.
We begin by saying our employer is really the Lord. We do not work out of fear lest he catches us loafing, because His eye is always on us. We work out of love and by the strength of the Spirit because we love him.
The quality of work we do because we are Christians does provide a witness to His kingdom people and is of honor to the Lord who in turn will honor us. The word we hope to hear is "Well done, my good and faithful servant."
Pastor Dale
Sermon Nuggets Weds Dec 30
Verse. Col 3: 22-23
22 Slaves, obey your earthly masters in everything; and do it, not only when their eye is on you and to win their favor, but with sincerity of heart and reverence for the Lord.
23 Whatever you do, work at it with all your heart, as working for the Lord, not for men,
Attitude of work
Christians are instructed as employees (slaves) to work wholeheartedly as unto the Lord. It doesn't make any difference whether you are a housewife, cook meals, or wash clothes if you are doing it for loved ones and Jesus. Or if you are a teacher, doctor, lawyer, nurse, sales clerk, or accountant, are you seeking to serve the Lord? Does the farmer work not only for profit but working as a privilege to God?
Col 3:23 instructs Christians to be whole hearted in every worthy endeavor. That means applying ourselves to the same diligence to lowly tasks that we do to prominent ones. There is nothing too small for Jesus.
We have talked in the past about the dangers of workaholics who make work the sole attention of their activity. For some the quality of work is focused only on increasing in material wealth. Many fail to understand the importance of worship, of rest, and their responsibility serving their families and church. It is not God’s will to neglect those priorities. But incorporate them in giving your best in the things you do.
Many only work if they get recognition and glory. Our recent Christmas play highlighted a diva who worked at a homeless shelter to work off community service requirements. But most tasks were beneath her dignity as she sought personal publicity and recognition. There are many like that. I am not talking about service outside of one’s gift mix or training, but the attitude. Some love to work with children, others with numbers, others do better with tools for building, others musically. All, however, are to have the attitude of Jesus who gives their talents to the Lord with a spirit of humility.
Any opportunity to glorify God should never be considered too small or too insignificant to command our best efforts.
When you commit yourself to work for someone you are in a sense, selling yourself for the hours involved. Today we are fortunate to have laws that restrict abusive working conditions, and many serve under contracts that explain their responsibilities for work and training. There are some things under law that people can and cannot do.
Employers cannot control the rest of your life, but they do have a right to control your life during the work hours. Work diligently.
I certainly cannot answer when it is right to quit one job and go to another. We have that freedom in our culture. That was not possible during Biblical days. God often entrusts us with a little to see what we will do in order that he might give us something better. Joseph was required to work his best as a slave for many years and then in prison before God raised him up to rule over the people of Egypt, second to Pharaoh. The quality and attitude toward his work was rewarded.
I don't think that we will become better workers by increasing pay, or having better conditions, or higher benefits. The secret of good work is personal pride one takes in doing a good job. It is in recognizing labor is part of the gift and responsibility from God. Do your best with the attitude of gratitude and humility and God will be honored.
Pastor Dale
Sermon Nuggets Thurs Dec 31
Verse Col 4:1 Masters, provide your slaves with what is right and fair, because you know that you also have a Master in heaven.
Conditions of Work
The Apostle Paul discusses how our new nature affects not only the employees, but also the employers. I will call these concerns the conditions of employment.
Employers have a tremendous responsibility because they also are under the submission of Jesus Christ. No boss can do whatever he wants just because he or she is an employer or manager. The master was to treat a slave as a brother or sister in Christ, not to mistreat them or be unjust but to be fair in all one's practice remembering that he is under the authroity of Jesus to treat others that way He instructs.
The two most important conditions mentioned here are justice and equality, or fairness. Justice is doing what is right. We are to apply justice in work. I thinkthat means employees are not be overworked and underpaid. Doing what is right is allowing sufficient breaks, or rest periods, providing for their needs with safe working conditions. It also means following the laws that are used to protect workers.
I was required to read "The Jungle" by Sinclair Lewis in High School. Although it was a novel it depicted the unjust working conditions in the Chicago stock yards at the turn of the last century. Such abuses resulted in the need the labor unions. When one missed work due to work related accident 10 were ready to take their job. They worked long hours for dirt cheap wages. For any reason they could be fired.
There are employers who cheat their workers out of promised benefits, or vacations days.
I have boycotted products or companies if I discovered such products are the result of the breaking of child labor laws, or slave labor. Over 250 million children around the world work in poor countries. Poverty increases because instead of hiring adults to do the jobs, children are forced to work long hours with little pay. Kenya estimates 42% children work full or part time. Although the products may be cheaper working conditions for the poor will not improve if their companies keep pocketing the profits at the expense of abusing others.
An Christian employer is also to be fair and just as important is to compliment and recognize good work.
I first became introduced to Sherm Swenson in a seminary class I was auditing. He was the CEO of B. Dalton Bookstores and invited us into his board room at the corporate offices at the time. He has since retired He found support from his staff in the business world when he demonstrated integrity, honesty and fairness. According to Swenson regardless of favorable or unfavorable circumstances serving with joy leads to finding joy on the job or in the home. When faced with inevitable disappointments and frustrations that work presents Swenson goes on "thank you walks regardless of the weather."
He focused on thanking God for all the positive things God is doing in his life.
As an employer Sherm noted Christ calls us to serve, even as employers, to do our best serving Him by serving our employees. The best rule is the golden rule. Do unto others as you would have them do unto you. Treat people the way you want to be treated. If you want respect then you must show respect, even to your employees. If you want service, then you must give service, If you want friendly working relationships, then you need to provide friendship. Remember "as you do it unto the least of these my brothers you do it unto me." Jesus said.
How would you treat Jesus Christ if he worked for you? That is how you are supposed to treat your employees as well as fellow workers. It makes for much better working conditions.
Pastor Dale
Sermon Nuggets Fri Jan 1 10
Verses- Col 3:23-25
23 Whatever you do, work at it with all your heart, as working for the Lord, not for men,since you know that you will receive an inheritance from the Lord as a reward. It is the Lord Christ you are serving.
25 Anyone who does wrong will be repaid for his wrong, and there is no favoritism.
Purpose of Work
William Willimon, the dean of the chapel at Duke University wrote on the topic of clergy and laity burnout. He observed with insight that seldom is burnout the direct result of overwork. Hard and demanding work often can be remarkably energizing. Instead, argues Willimon, burnout is almost always the result of a loss of sense of meaning in our labors. We find sustained energy when we are engaged in something we believe matters.
One poem goes "I may not do great things for God who did so much for me; but if I do the little things, His work through me I'll see."
Work Spiritually. We need to see that God is our boss, not the person who pays our bills, or the one who hired us. Christians need to understand there is no such thing as secular and sacred work. That is not a distinction in the New Testament.
Too often people put work in categories: Running the business of a corporation is secular; running the business of a church is sacred. Singing in the choir is sacred; singing on stage is secular. Building an office complex is secular but building a church is sacred. As a result lay people see most of their time spend in secular activity. They believe that the only time they are serving Christ is when they are doing what is spiritual-teaching SS singing in choir, serving on a board, praying, or sharing their faith with someone who doesn't know about Jesus. Because secular jobs are so demanding they have little time to do these extra "Spiritual things'.
Many think that only ministers and full time Christian workers are doing ministry. What a difference in the NT where the believers were spirit filled. They spread the gospel in ways natural to them. They were filled with the love of God and demonstrated this love by caring for others and sharing possessions. What spoke to the non Christian world was their attitudes which were most clearly seen in the work world. The greatest impact for Jesus was not through the mass media and Jerusalem Gazette, but through the witness of the body of Christ through the way they lived between Sundays in their home and neighborhoods, in their social contacts and on their jobs day in and out. Under the influence of the Holy Spirit they demonstrated Christian love and caring in ways natural to them shared their faith to friends. They affirm confidently how God changed their lives and how He can change anyone's life.
I read a book of the business man Stanley Tam the Title was "God Owns My Business" The story of this man decided to give his business over to God. He began a shrewd operator, but God convicted his heart to give God 51% of the profits of his business. This made God the controlling partner of his silver reclaiming business. IRS audited him every year because they couldn't believe the gifts of charity.
The business grew beyond anyone's exceptions. He found as he was faithful to his commitment to God, the Lord prospered him, not necessarily in financial ways. He had more witnessing opportunities. He saw people grow in their faith and become believers in Jesus. Many times he was tempted to do things that were not in keeping with Christian principles only to get financial advantage, and yet prayed and resisted such temptations.
"My God shall supply all your needs according to his riches in glory by Christ" he writes in his book "In my case God knew my yen for making money He had left me undisturbed in this area, I could have become a proud, materialistic, self centered spiritual misfit, but somehow I had found wisdom to tell God he could have full control of me. I meant it and God took me at my word. Thus is asking of me the submission of the greatest drive in my live, the thirst for making money, he removed the blinding influence and replaced it with inner peace and satisfaction such as I could never have otherwise known.
I have no doubt but that the other men may be able to run their businesses in the usual manner but just as committed to God in their way and how they use their money, but with me it was a matter of nailing down my commitment. "
That kind of purpose, as an employee or employer, or self employed or volunteer person means everything you do is completely on the up and up. God wants honest service, never misrepresenting their product, having open books, when one makes a mistake in overpayment that money was returned. Seeking to pay bills on time and paying what you owe.
Moving into the New Year of 2010 is a step of faith. Faith is seeking to live for Jesus in a world that keeps tempting us in different ways, with different purposes and pleasures.
May your New Year be filled with Christ’s presence and peace at work and in your home.
Pastor Dale
Theme- God’s Workmen
Verses-
Col 3:22-4:1
23 Whatever you do, work at it with all your heart, as working for the Lord, not for men,
24 since you know that you will receive an inheritance from the Lord as a reward. It is the Lord Christ you are serving.
25 Anyone who does wrong will be repaid for his wrong, and there is no favoritism.
4:1 Masters, provide your slaves with what is right and fair, because you know that you also have a Master in heaven.
God's Workmen
What a relief to come to a weekend and realize that most people ave a break from work. It seems that more jobs require week-end responsibilities as well as some get no days off. Many people long to leave the work-a-day world to escape labor and pursue their personal pleasures. God designed us to work and to rest. There is an important balance to make us whole and productive people. Whether one is employed or not work is designed by God for mankind.
I have been on committees for the conference with men and women who now in their retirement, or semi retirement put as much effort in their responsibilities as they did when they were employed. They loved what they do and feel fulfilled when they have something meaningful to do.
When I am at Study Break at Trout Lake Camp there is a force of retired men and women who are busy with building and cleaning buildings for campers. There are special project where some have the ability and training to now work for the Lord in electrical, plumbing, carpentry, sewing, painting tasks.
Rob Boyd of the Minnesota Baptist Conference is semi-retired but I don’t think anyone told him. When I asked him what he will be doing he said the same thing I’ve always been doing, only now have the freedom to take more vacations and days off. He loves what he does and cannot image not doing it, even if he is not getting as much money.
What a blessing if you work at a job you love. Unfortunately that is not case with everyone. And it is typical that at any job there are things most people enjoy and other things they do not enjoy. It is a mixture of fulfillment and frustration.
If you had all the money you could live on, and were allowed to continue your job for only expenses, would you do what you are doing? There are thankless jobs. I am sure that if it wasn't for the paycheck many jobs never done for not all work is pleasurable.
I found it hard to put myself in the shoes of factory workers in Russia who haven't been paid for 3 months. I think it would be hard to want to do a good job.
Other than the chores my Mother made me do at home, my worse job was working as a bus boy in a large University cafeteria for a few months. During the 1 to 1½ hours of lunch I was running, barked at by the boss, trying to hurry people out of their table to make room for more. It didn’t seem like a service to people, but treated as a machine never interacting with anyone. I didn’t like it. However hard anyone worked there was never any appreciation given by the employers or the customers.
Fortunately, after a few months I worked in the kitchen in a private sorority house waiting on pretty girls every day. What a happy change! The conditions were much better, the employee was someone I could talk to. The food they provided was much better than cafeteria food.
We live in a fantastic age where there are such a variety of jobs open to people. If you are at the point in your life of considering training for vocation, ask yourself what would you enjoy doing even if you were not get paid for it? Or what type of working environment would be ideal for you? Even if it doesn’t exist in reality, it gets you closer than a mismatch of gifts, interests and talents, unless it is honest work and you need the money to live. There is nothing wrong with that if it is honest work.
It is a far cry from the days when sons were expected to follow in their father's occupation, or take over the family business, even if they did not want it. Work is also part of the curse of the fall. It is with the sweat of the brow that man must labor, with thorns and thistles.
What is a chore for one is like recreation for another. It is a matter of perspective. For a worm digging in the hard ground is much more relaxing than going fishing.
In Colossians we are instructed to live up to our calling. Our new nature affect, not only our families, but also our relationships at work. Paul is writing to slaves and masters. This is not support for slavery as much as it is bringing faith into a society that already has slavery. 50% of the people were slaves. When people were brought to a saving faith in Jesus the Holy Spirit began to work in society. That's when slavery began to diminish. In I Cor 7:21 Paul tells slaves if possible to get their freedom. But he did not advocate rebellious overthrow of the government or the existing authorities.
Our faith affects our works and there are directive for Employees and Employers as we apply truth.
Pastor Dale
Sermon Nuggets Tues Dec 29 Quality of Work
Verse- Col 3:22 Slaves, obey your earthly masters in everything; and do it, not only when their eye is on you and to win their favor,
Quality of Work
When we have a new nature it affects our family life, as we have been discussing the last couple of weeks. And also affects our work life. When Paul’s letter is directed at slaves we can interpret these principles to all employees, who are under voluntary and paid arrangements for employment as people pay for your time for your services.
Slaves in that day had very little rights. But they did have responsibilities to represent Christ even in their work as a child of God. They were to be a witness to the Lord by working effectively.
Obedience seems like something a slave ought to do. When masters are in complete control do slaves have any options? Some with cruel masters can be killed or beaten for not obeying. Fortunately that is not the case any longer, under the law. But a good employee seeks to win the pleasure of his or her employer by following the rules and abiding by the guidelines of the company or place of employment. They would do well to reflect Jesus by having an attitude of wanting to do a good job. Christians should work differently. Obedience and seeking to win the favor of an employer are part of being a good effective workman (and workwoman. The apostle Paul also adds not just when the boss is looking at you, but with sincerity of heart and reverence for the Lord.
I remember working early mornings at the Farmer's Union Grain Terminal Association in St. Paul while I attended Bethel College. I was hired to work in the mail room. The personal director said, "We like to hire Bethel students because they are usually dependable."
When the boss was not around the other younger people employed in the mail room would have rubber band fights, and sneak off to the coffee shop. When passing the mail around the building, rather than come back when they were done, they would find places to hide and cheat on their time. Sometimes I was surprised how little work was being done. It seemed some worked at getting out of work.
One attendee of Stanchfield told me of his problem. He worked too well. As we worked with others his production was far greater and fellow employees got on his case lest the boss would require the same from them. He asked me what he should do. I advised him to remember who he really worked for. Then they began to sabotage his work. Unfortunately, I have seen that happen in the ministry when people who are upset with the pastor will offer false and misleading accusations to get them fired. God knows the whole story and many people find that the encouragement to do right even if they are wronged.
From time to time the secret investigative reporting team on a TV station would sneak around and show some police men or fire inspectors, or University employees, or government officials goofing off on the job, going home in the middle of the day on company pay and so forth. What type of testimony does that give the Christian if he or she acted that way? They are stealing from their employer. The employer or company is paying your time and services which they are not getting.
The story is told by a missionary in Africa about a foreman who was responsible for getting people to do certain jobs. He discovered that they were all rather lazy and would only perform while he was actually watching them. When he left they would stop work and do nothing until he returned. This man had a glass eye, and one day when his eye was irritating him he took it out and put it on a stump.
When he returned he found that everyone was still working because the "eye" as they thought, was watching them all the while he was away.
That is what the apostle means here- eye service, working only when the boss is watching.
This foreman thought had found a way to free himself, until one day he returned to discover that one of the workers had sneaked around from behind and put his hat over the eye, everyone was lounging around enjoying themselves without working. The thought no one was watching them.
We begin by saying our employer is really the Lord. We do not work out of fear lest he catches us loafing, because His eye is always on us. We work out of love and by the strength of the Spirit because we love him.
The quality of work we do because we are Christians does provide a witness to His kingdom people and is of honor to the Lord who in turn will honor us. The word we hope to hear is "Well done, my good and faithful servant."
Pastor Dale
Sermon Nuggets Weds Dec 30
Verse. Col 3: 22-23
22 Slaves, obey your earthly masters in everything; and do it, not only when their eye is on you and to win their favor, but with sincerity of heart and reverence for the Lord.
23 Whatever you do, work at it with all your heart, as working for the Lord, not for men,
Attitude of work
Christians are instructed as employees (slaves) to work wholeheartedly as unto the Lord. It doesn't make any difference whether you are a housewife, cook meals, or wash clothes if you are doing it for loved ones and Jesus. Or if you are a teacher, doctor, lawyer, nurse, sales clerk, or accountant, are you seeking to serve the Lord? Does the farmer work not only for profit but working as a privilege to God?
Col 3:23 instructs Christians to be whole hearted in every worthy endeavor. That means applying ourselves to the same diligence to lowly tasks that we do to prominent ones. There is nothing too small for Jesus.
We have talked in the past about the dangers of workaholics who make work the sole attention of their activity. For some the quality of work is focused only on increasing in material wealth. Many fail to understand the importance of worship, of rest, and their responsibility serving their families and church. It is not God’s will to neglect those priorities. But incorporate them in giving your best in the things you do.
Many only work if they get recognition and glory. Our recent Christmas play highlighted a diva who worked at a homeless shelter to work off community service requirements. But most tasks were beneath her dignity as she sought personal publicity and recognition. There are many like that. I am not talking about service outside of one’s gift mix or training, but the attitude. Some love to work with children, others with numbers, others do better with tools for building, others musically. All, however, are to have the attitude of Jesus who gives their talents to the Lord with a spirit of humility.
Any opportunity to glorify God should never be considered too small or too insignificant to command our best efforts.
When you commit yourself to work for someone you are in a sense, selling yourself for the hours involved. Today we are fortunate to have laws that restrict abusive working conditions, and many serve under contracts that explain their responsibilities for work and training. There are some things under law that people can and cannot do.
Employers cannot control the rest of your life, but they do have a right to control your life during the work hours. Work diligently.
I certainly cannot answer when it is right to quit one job and go to another. We have that freedom in our culture. That was not possible during Biblical days. God often entrusts us with a little to see what we will do in order that he might give us something better. Joseph was required to work his best as a slave for many years and then in prison before God raised him up to rule over the people of Egypt, second to Pharaoh. The quality and attitude toward his work was rewarded.
I don't think that we will become better workers by increasing pay, or having better conditions, or higher benefits. The secret of good work is personal pride one takes in doing a good job. It is in recognizing labor is part of the gift and responsibility from God. Do your best with the attitude of gratitude and humility and God will be honored.
Pastor Dale
Sermon Nuggets Thurs Dec 31
Verse Col 4:1 Masters, provide your slaves with what is right and fair, because you know that you also have a Master in heaven.
Conditions of Work
The Apostle Paul discusses how our new nature affects not only the employees, but also the employers. I will call these concerns the conditions of employment.
Employers have a tremendous responsibility because they also are under the submission of Jesus Christ. No boss can do whatever he wants just because he or she is an employer or manager. The master was to treat a slave as a brother or sister in Christ, not to mistreat them or be unjust but to be fair in all one's practice remembering that he is under the authroity of Jesus to treat others that way He instructs.
The two most important conditions mentioned here are justice and equality, or fairness. Justice is doing what is right. We are to apply justice in work. I thinkthat means employees are not be overworked and underpaid. Doing what is right is allowing sufficient breaks, or rest periods, providing for their needs with safe working conditions. It also means following the laws that are used to protect workers.
I was required to read "The Jungle" by Sinclair Lewis in High School. Although it was a novel it depicted the unjust working conditions in the Chicago stock yards at the turn of the last century. Such abuses resulted in the need the labor unions. When one missed work due to work related accident 10 were ready to take their job. They worked long hours for dirt cheap wages. For any reason they could be fired.
There are employers who cheat their workers out of promised benefits, or vacations days.
I have boycotted products or companies if I discovered such products are the result of the breaking of child labor laws, or slave labor. Over 250 million children around the world work in poor countries. Poverty increases because instead of hiring adults to do the jobs, children are forced to work long hours with little pay. Kenya estimates 42% children work full or part time. Although the products may be cheaper working conditions for the poor will not improve if their companies keep pocketing the profits at the expense of abusing others.
An Christian employer is also to be fair and just as important is to compliment and recognize good work.
I first became introduced to Sherm Swenson in a seminary class I was auditing. He was the CEO of B. Dalton Bookstores and invited us into his board room at the corporate offices at the time. He has since retired He found support from his staff in the business world when he demonstrated integrity, honesty and fairness. According to Swenson regardless of favorable or unfavorable circumstances serving with joy leads to finding joy on the job or in the home. When faced with inevitable disappointments and frustrations that work presents Swenson goes on "thank you walks regardless of the weather."
He focused on thanking God for all the positive things God is doing in his life.
As an employer Sherm noted Christ calls us to serve, even as employers, to do our best serving Him by serving our employees. The best rule is the golden rule. Do unto others as you would have them do unto you. Treat people the way you want to be treated. If you want respect then you must show respect, even to your employees. If you want service, then you must give service, If you want friendly working relationships, then you need to provide friendship. Remember "as you do it unto the least of these my brothers you do it unto me." Jesus said.
How would you treat Jesus Christ if he worked for you? That is how you are supposed to treat your employees as well as fellow workers. It makes for much better working conditions.
Pastor Dale
Sermon Nuggets Fri Jan 1 10
Verses- Col 3:23-25
23 Whatever you do, work at it with all your heart, as working for the Lord, not for men,since you know that you will receive an inheritance from the Lord as a reward. It is the Lord Christ you are serving.
25 Anyone who does wrong will be repaid for his wrong, and there is no favoritism.
Purpose of Work
William Willimon, the dean of the chapel at Duke University wrote on the topic of clergy and laity burnout. He observed with insight that seldom is burnout the direct result of overwork. Hard and demanding work often can be remarkably energizing. Instead, argues Willimon, burnout is almost always the result of a loss of sense of meaning in our labors. We find sustained energy when we are engaged in something we believe matters.
One poem goes "I may not do great things for God who did so much for me; but if I do the little things, His work through me I'll see."
Work Spiritually. We need to see that God is our boss, not the person who pays our bills, or the one who hired us. Christians need to understand there is no such thing as secular and sacred work. That is not a distinction in the New Testament.
Too often people put work in categories: Running the business of a corporation is secular; running the business of a church is sacred. Singing in the choir is sacred; singing on stage is secular. Building an office complex is secular but building a church is sacred. As a result lay people see most of their time spend in secular activity. They believe that the only time they are serving Christ is when they are doing what is spiritual-teaching SS singing in choir, serving on a board, praying, or sharing their faith with someone who doesn't know about Jesus. Because secular jobs are so demanding they have little time to do these extra "Spiritual things'.
Many think that only ministers and full time Christian workers are doing ministry. What a difference in the NT where the believers were spirit filled. They spread the gospel in ways natural to them. They were filled with the love of God and demonstrated this love by caring for others and sharing possessions. What spoke to the non Christian world was their attitudes which were most clearly seen in the work world. The greatest impact for Jesus was not through the mass media and Jerusalem Gazette, but through the witness of the body of Christ through the way they lived between Sundays in their home and neighborhoods, in their social contacts and on their jobs day in and out. Under the influence of the Holy Spirit they demonstrated Christian love and caring in ways natural to them shared their faith to friends. They affirm confidently how God changed their lives and how He can change anyone's life.
I read a book of the business man Stanley Tam the Title was "God Owns My Business" The story of this man decided to give his business over to God. He began a shrewd operator, but God convicted his heart to give God 51% of the profits of his business. This made God the controlling partner of his silver reclaiming business. IRS audited him every year because they couldn't believe the gifts of charity.
The business grew beyond anyone's exceptions. He found as he was faithful to his commitment to God, the Lord prospered him, not necessarily in financial ways. He had more witnessing opportunities. He saw people grow in their faith and become believers in Jesus. Many times he was tempted to do things that were not in keeping with Christian principles only to get financial advantage, and yet prayed and resisted such temptations.
"My God shall supply all your needs according to his riches in glory by Christ" he writes in his book "In my case God knew my yen for making money He had left me undisturbed in this area, I could have become a proud, materialistic, self centered spiritual misfit, but somehow I had found wisdom to tell God he could have full control of me. I meant it and God took me at my word. Thus is asking of me the submission of the greatest drive in my live, the thirst for making money, he removed the blinding influence and replaced it with inner peace and satisfaction such as I could never have otherwise known.
I have no doubt but that the other men may be able to run their businesses in the usual manner but just as committed to God in their way and how they use their money, but with me it was a matter of nailing down my commitment. "
That kind of purpose, as an employee or employer, or self employed or volunteer person means everything you do is completely on the up and up. God wants honest service, never misrepresenting their product, having open books, when one makes a mistake in overpayment that money was returned. Seeking to pay bills on time and paying what you owe.
Moving into the New Year of 2010 is a step of faith. Faith is seeking to live for Jesus in a world that keeps tempting us in different ways, with different purposes and pleasures.
May your New Year be filled with Christ’s presence and peace at work and in your home.
Pastor Dale
Saturday, December 26, 2009
Children and Parents Col 3:20-21
Sermon Nuggets Mon Dec 21
Theme- Children and Parents
Verses Col 3:20-21 Children, obey your parents in everything, for this pleases the Lord. 21 Fathers, do not embitter your children, or they will become discouraged.
Children and Parents
The verses this week speak on children and fathers. However, we can include mothers as well. The relationship and responsibilities we have as parents are the next most important after God and our spouse. Children are a gift from the Lord.
Maybe someday I will discuss with one or both of my sons to dialogue with me on child rearing. I would include all the wonderful ways I fulfilled my fatherly responsibilities and they would write down all my mistakes and short comings that I would love to ignore. Parenting and growing up in most homes are filled with failures and successes. We all wish we could have done it better. We all fall short of what God intended.
I am very proud of my sons and how they are developing. Certainly I want to control their lives and have them do everything I want them to do, but that is not my role nor would it be a good idea. God has made them far differently than me and has given gifts and abilities and will continue to work in their lives in the years’ ahead if He so allows.
In the 70s I read most of the books written by Charlie Shedd, who was the James Dobson of his day. I quoted from his book, “Promises to Peter.” Let me summarize his quote.
He started as a single man doing a seminar entitled, "How to Raise Your Children." Then he got married and changed the title of his seminar to "Suggestions for Parents." Not very long after that, his first child came along, and he changed the title to "Feeble Hints for Fellow Strugglers." Then he had his third child, and he completely gave up doing the lecture.
Many of us can identify with that. Perhaps you're like that lady who got on the bus with five children. The bus driver said, "Are these all your kids, or are you just going to a picnic?" She said, "Sir, these are all my kids, and this ain't no picnic."
Recently I listened to a single adult tell me how she would raise her children if she had any. I bit my lip and kept quiet. I confess I said the same things when I was single. It was stupid stuff. Not that it didn’t sound good, but let’s face it, the complexities of kids and parents and the situations in which we find ourselves are so unique that simple and pat answers fall short of reality. But neither can we use that as an excuse to ignore God’s Word to guide us.
Ps 127:3-5 “Sons are a heritage from the LORD, children a reward from him. Like arrows in the hands of a warrior are sons born in one's youth. Blessed is the man whose quiver is full of them. They will not be put to shame when they contend with their enemies in the gate.”
Having children is not God’s will for all couples. But if this is the calling and circumstance the Lord allows it is a blessing. We tease a great deal on the challenges of child rearing, but being a child raised by parents who are not perfect is no picnic either. As much as I thank God for my parents and their Christian commitment, I could easily point out their foibles. I needed to learn to forgive as well as ask forgiveness. I set them up as a young child knowing all the answers to life and when they didn’t, I was quite disillusioned. Yet they were God’s choice for me. It was no accident that I was in their home. The sovereignty of God is wonderful. No one lives in a perfect environment with perfect people. But Jesus was also raised by sinners in a fallen world. It is in those relationships that we see the grace of God and learn how to live after picking ourselves up (or having God pick you up) and go on from there. Forgiving and being forgiven are important steps in all family relationships.
My life is fuller and richer because I was a parent. God used my sons and foster daughters to mature my faith, humble me, and make me pray lots more that I might otherwise. Anyone, single or married, with or without children, can develop relationships with children that are healthy to enhance your life and be used to bless their lives as God works in and through you.
Pastor Dale
Sermon nuggets Tues Dec 22
Importance of Order
God is not the God of chaos but of order. Every organization must operate with some order and responsibility. Rules may be formal or informal. If you have a group of children playing together it isn't long before they chose up sides. Someone is appointed leader or captain of a team and a game develop. Or as a couple of kids play they may learn to compromise playing a game one child wants for awhile and then a game the other child wants. Without some type of order you have no game; you have no rules; and you have no fun.
God began creation by taking chaos and creating order. Satan has always sought to disrupt that order and bring chaos. God's plan was that He has ultimate authority and order in our lives. Satan's plan was to disrupt that authority and order and make people think they have complete control over their decisions, desires, and actions. Hence we have not only a authority conflict we have a spiritual conflict, as well as personal conflict and family conflicts.
In any society God had planned that there be order. Government has the responsibility to benefit of its citizen by preventing chaos and establish order, by protecting and establishing the welfare for its citizens. That can be done through monarchy, dictatorship, democracy, republic, socialism- all of which is superior to anarchy and disorder.
God's plan for family is to bring children into the world with the parents having the authority to train and bring up their offspring in the honor and admonition of the Lord. Parents have the authority and responsibility to provide for and protect their children. Even though our society has changed, even though there are many parents who have given up their authority, even though there are some who have abused and misused their God given responsibility, this was and still is the plan that God had given for nurture and protection of children. If they cannot do it, then government steps in and does it. But that isn't the first plan of God.
In Biblical days children weren't granted any rights. They were seen as property. In the Greek world they could be sold by their parents as slaves. Or if a father acquired debts he could not pay his whole family could be sold as slaves to pay off the debts. In fact, in Rome a slave had more rights than a child did.
As followers of Jesus Christ there is a relationship of responsibility as well as authority. It begins with making a strong marriage in which to raise children. There are important roles designed for both the father and mother to play in child rearing. In cases of father's death or abandonment God has proclaimed a special category where he gives grace and blessing to those women who bear that responsibility. He gave the church also responsibility to help single parents, which we need to take seriously and more so in the days ahead.
The best thing you can do to raise strong children is to have a strong marriage. Are their perfect parents? Of course not. Sin, selfishness, pride creeps in and mistakes and offenses are clearly made, but there is a plan that gives guidance.
Do kids tell parents what to do? No; Do parents tell God what to do? No. Do kids tell each other what to do? No. Do parents tell kids what to do? Yes. Does God tell parents what to do? Yes. And it is the parent’s responsibility to help teach their children God’s ways. To learn to mature is not just independence from parents, but dependence on the Lord. That is the order that leads to blessings in the long run.
Pastor Dale
Sermon Nuggets Wed Dec 23
Importance of Obedience
I believe the importance of order and responsibility are also a spiritual issue. Attitudes of authority can be the basis of children’s early relationship with the Lord. How they obey the parents will influence how they are to obey the Lord some day.
Obedience is related to respect. It means one is ready to receive instruction, but is submissive to correction and direction. The more someone sees himself as dependent the easier it is to obey, the less one sees himself as dependent the harder it is to obey.
Obedient children please the Lord. It is right. And even if parents are not perfect God has place them in that responsibility to provide order and training. That is God's design.
There are rare occasions when the state or police or social services needs to intervene because that authority is neglected or abusive, but rather than seek to be the exception to the rule, children need to learn obedience at home for life lessons in the future toward others who are in authority in their lives.
Luke 2:41 They went down to Nazareth with them and was obedient to them But his mother treasured all these things in her heart, and Jesus grew in wisdom and stature and in favor with God and men."
Jesus was 12 years old at this point often considered an adult in their society, but as long as he was with his family it was the will of the Father in heaven for Jesus to be obedient to the parents on earth, even though they were not sinless and they were not perfect. Jesus who is to be our example was an obedient son. A child who does not learn to obey his parents often has problems throughout his or her life with authority. He will defy his teachers, employers, police, and others.
When parents are able to receive exhibit authority in love children are more secure and trusting.
My friend who was a nursery school director informed me her children play happily when they know what they can and cannot do, and where their boundaries are. They will check from time to time to see that those boundaries are secure. If they fine simple rules are not kept increased anxiety results. If the teachers are consistent with keeping the rules and giving correction to the children who try to go beyond those boundaries there is increased disorder.
It is true of any leadership. If our country believes in the strength and trust of its leaders they are more apt to be followed. The more the leadership ignores laws and sets up rules unto themselves the result is lack of trust, order, and security.
Dr. Laura Schlessinger was a popular radio talk host on family values and personal concerns. Unfortunately she was taken off the air from secular radio when her view conflicted with homosexual political correctness. Here is an except from her conversation with a teen girl from her program. "your mother's concern is your welfare and she is totally responsible. If you go out and do anything, the police come back and make her pay for it. She is completely, morally, socially, psychologically, emotionally, physically, and financially responsible for you. When someone has all that responsibility you better believe they have the power. You will have the power, my dear young lady, when you take over all those responsibilities for yourself. The person with the responsibility has the power. You have absolutely no responsibility therefore, you have virtually no power.
"You are not controlled. You are incredibly well taken care of. That's correct that you can't have your own way because at 15 you don't have enough wisdom and experience in life to know what the right way is. You only know what you want and what your other friends have. You mother has a broader picture and it frighten me that you don't respect that.
"You have a right to ask. You have a right to negotiate and discuss. You have no right to argue with your mother None. Zero. But you can negotiate and ask. It is disrespectful and arrogant to argue, but it reasonable to say, "Here is the plan. Here are the ideas. Does this meet everything?" When then your parents make a decision and you honor it. You know what respecting your mother means? You ask her, She thinks it though she makes a decision and you say, "Yes, ma'am. " and when you're totally responsible for all your bills and all your welfare, you can frustrate yourself with your own decision. But right now you honor the person who is totally taking care of you and gave you life.”
As parents and grandparents if God has given you responsibility to teach them to obey as unto the Lord even if it makes you less popular. We are not talking about needless rules, or conflict of power for the sake of power, but an understanding and caring heart that is secure in doing what is best for any child will go well and be in keeping with God’s design in the child parent relationship.
However, children will also watch to see if you are respectful and obedient to those who are in authority over you. Show them the values of order and obedience and how to respectfully handle disagreements. Leave the long term results and consequences to the Lord. Pray for wisdom. Don’t be afraid to apologize when you make a bad decision. Integrity with good intent goes a long way.
Pastor Dale
Sermon nuggets Thurs Dec 24
Verses- Eph 6:1-4 Children, obey your parents in the Lord, for this is right. "Honor your father and mother"-- which is the first commandment with a promise--"that it may go well with you and that you may enjoy long life on the earth."
Fathers, do not exasperate your children; instead, bring them up in the training and instruction of the Lord.
Issue of Offense
The passage in Ephesians helps us understand what it means to exasperate the children. Parents must bear responsibility to be parents. It is not always a fun job any more than being a kid is always fun. It means stepping up to the plate and taking the responsibility to provide correction and training and love, and rebuke and discipline.
Exasperation isn't the same as making them upset, but it keeping them from proper goals. The opposite of exasperation is bringing them instead in the training and instruction of the Lord.
Exasperation is when the child has no understanding where he is at, what he should do. It comes with lack of training, lack of love, lack of understanding. It happens when there is unfairness, and abuse, anger, and manipulation. Exasperation results when children are confused.
Exasperation is when parents are cheating and drunk, and not providing for their family, or not spending time with children, or giving very little interest in their activities. It makes them feel unimportant.
Exasperation is not the same as a child who is upset with house rules or discipline. Hebrews 12 makes it clear that no one likes discipline, but it produces good fruit in the long run. Even God our Father disciplines us because he loves us. A loving parent will discipline their children. An uncaring parent will only discipline them if they get in their way, or keep them from their own selfish pursuits, otherwise they ignore them.
It is a grave responsibility of parents toward raising children who bear the image of God on them. To steer them into adulthood, to recognize they're on loan from God.
Some will say a child need to ventilate his or her anger and say anything and throw things to get it out and not stuff it? Is that true in the adult world? If an adult is upset with a policeman and call him names and throw things at him, does that produce good? Respect is learning proper way of expressing feelings-the need to be heard and need to listen. Parents that is true for children.
I remember a story of a young child and mother going into restaurant to order. She wanted a hamburger, No children. With ketchup, no vegetable with chicken. fries, no chicken. coke. Milk.
"Mom, she thinks I'm a person.”
I quote a poem by Henry Matthew Ward called By Example
When I got mad and hit my child, "For his own good," I reconciled And then, I realized my plight. Today, I taught my child to fight.
When interrupted by the phone I said, "Tell them I'm not at home." And then I thought, and had to sigh- Today I taught my child to lie.
I told the tax man what I made, Forgetting cash that I was paid And then I blushed at this sad feat, Today, I taught my child to cheat.
I smugly copied a cassette, To keep me free of one more debt. But now the bells of shame must peal, Today I taught my child to steal.
Today, I cursed another race. Oh God, protect what I debase, For now, I fear it is too late. Today, I taught my child to hate.
By my example, children learn, That I must lead in life's sojourn In such a way that they are led, By what is done, not what is said.
Today, I gave my child his due, By Praises for him instead of rue. And now I have begun my guide: Today, I gave my child his pride.
I now have reconciled and paid To IRS on all I made. And now I know that this dear youth, Today has learned from me of Truth.
The alms I give are not for show. And yet, this child must surely know That charity is worth the price; Today, he saw my sacrifice.
I clasp within a warm embrace My neighbor of another race- The great commandment from above. Today, I taught my child to love.
Someday, my child must face alone, This world of fearsome undertone, But I have blazed a sure pathway; Today, I taught my child to pray."
Pastor Dale
Sermon Nuggets Sat Dec 26
Importance of Fathers
As we conclude this passage for the week we noticed the instructions of verse 21 apply to both parents, but it is directed to fathers. There are many studies that speak of the importance of the father and his role in the family. The father has tremendous impact has on the child for good and for ill.
There has been a dramatic rise in absent fathers from the home. Psychologist, Christopher Bacorn reported in the past in Newsweek magazine that he sees clients in their teens abusing alcohol, falling into gangs, failing school and committing violent crimes. One consistent pattern among many of these males is no father figure in the home.
Further research shows greater negative impact on children when a father leaves the home than if he dies.
Where are the Dads? Bacorn says where they are not. “They are not a PTA meetings or piano recitals. They're not teaching SS, taking their children to the doctors when they are sick. They can't be seen at juvenile court when Junior is facing sentencing. Where you find many of them are at taverns drinking, conversing playing pool. At casinos gambling, or on golf courses, tennis courts, and bowling allows. They are working at their jobs from early morning to late at night. They are watching TV or tuning up the car. They are every where but in the presence of their children.”
Bacorn reveals that not only do many boys lack a sense of how a man should behave without proper models, many girls don't know either, having little exposure to healthy male female relationships.
In another article John Heiman was US comptroller of the currency in the Carter administration, Charged with the supervision of the national banking system. He took his son and daughter with him to business meetings so they could see what their dad did. Such business meetings were meant for men and women. Sometimes at formal dinners it was not the most stimulating for children, but he tried to include them in conversations, which also helped him keep some of the concepts simple to explain and kept his antagonists polite in their presence.
When his son was in college he surprised his dad coming into one of the banking meetings dressed like a Hippie. Dad was embarrassed. When the meeting ending the chairman stopped Heiman and asked. "How did you get him to come with you? My son refuses to join me in anything I do. What have you done to encourage him? What a son!”
Today Joshua is an officer of a bank. Time paid off.
It is time for the modern father to step up to the plate of responsibility of parenting and not leaving it up to the mothers alone. The family was designed for the male to take his role as God designed. He is to take the initiative to give spiritual training, love and discipline. He is to train and reproof, to play and to work. He is part of the balance with the mother that each child needs to grow in our society and mature as we model Kingdom living before our kids.
Pastor Dale
Theme- Children and Parents
Verses Col 3:20-21 Children, obey your parents in everything, for this pleases the Lord. 21 Fathers, do not embitter your children, or they will become discouraged.
Children and Parents
The verses this week speak on children and fathers. However, we can include mothers as well. The relationship and responsibilities we have as parents are the next most important after God and our spouse. Children are a gift from the Lord.
Maybe someday I will discuss with one or both of my sons to dialogue with me on child rearing. I would include all the wonderful ways I fulfilled my fatherly responsibilities and they would write down all my mistakes and short comings that I would love to ignore. Parenting and growing up in most homes are filled with failures and successes. We all wish we could have done it better. We all fall short of what God intended.
I am very proud of my sons and how they are developing. Certainly I want to control their lives and have them do everything I want them to do, but that is not my role nor would it be a good idea. God has made them far differently than me and has given gifts and abilities and will continue to work in their lives in the years’ ahead if He so allows.
In the 70s I read most of the books written by Charlie Shedd, who was the James Dobson of his day. I quoted from his book, “Promises to Peter.” Let me summarize his quote.
He started as a single man doing a seminar entitled, "How to Raise Your Children." Then he got married and changed the title of his seminar to "Suggestions for Parents." Not very long after that, his first child came along, and he changed the title to "Feeble Hints for Fellow Strugglers." Then he had his third child, and he completely gave up doing the lecture.
Many of us can identify with that. Perhaps you're like that lady who got on the bus with five children. The bus driver said, "Are these all your kids, or are you just going to a picnic?" She said, "Sir, these are all my kids, and this ain't no picnic."
Recently I listened to a single adult tell me how she would raise her children if she had any. I bit my lip and kept quiet. I confess I said the same things when I was single. It was stupid stuff. Not that it didn’t sound good, but let’s face it, the complexities of kids and parents and the situations in which we find ourselves are so unique that simple and pat answers fall short of reality. But neither can we use that as an excuse to ignore God’s Word to guide us.
Ps 127:3-5 “Sons are a heritage from the LORD, children a reward from him. Like arrows in the hands of a warrior are sons born in one's youth. Blessed is the man whose quiver is full of them. They will not be put to shame when they contend with their enemies in the gate.”
Having children is not God’s will for all couples. But if this is the calling and circumstance the Lord allows it is a blessing. We tease a great deal on the challenges of child rearing, but being a child raised by parents who are not perfect is no picnic either. As much as I thank God for my parents and their Christian commitment, I could easily point out their foibles. I needed to learn to forgive as well as ask forgiveness. I set them up as a young child knowing all the answers to life and when they didn’t, I was quite disillusioned. Yet they were God’s choice for me. It was no accident that I was in their home. The sovereignty of God is wonderful. No one lives in a perfect environment with perfect people. But Jesus was also raised by sinners in a fallen world. It is in those relationships that we see the grace of God and learn how to live after picking ourselves up (or having God pick you up) and go on from there. Forgiving and being forgiven are important steps in all family relationships.
My life is fuller and richer because I was a parent. God used my sons and foster daughters to mature my faith, humble me, and make me pray lots more that I might otherwise. Anyone, single or married, with or without children, can develop relationships with children that are healthy to enhance your life and be used to bless their lives as God works in and through you.
Pastor Dale
Sermon nuggets Tues Dec 22
Importance of Order
God is not the God of chaos but of order. Every organization must operate with some order and responsibility. Rules may be formal or informal. If you have a group of children playing together it isn't long before they chose up sides. Someone is appointed leader or captain of a team and a game develop. Or as a couple of kids play they may learn to compromise playing a game one child wants for awhile and then a game the other child wants. Without some type of order you have no game; you have no rules; and you have no fun.
God began creation by taking chaos and creating order. Satan has always sought to disrupt that order and bring chaos. God's plan was that He has ultimate authority and order in our lives. Satan's plan was to disrupt that authority and order and make people think they have complete control over their decisions, desires, and actions. Hence we have not only a authority conflict we have a spiritual conflict, as well as personal conflict and family conflicts.
In any society God had planned that there be order. Government has the responsibility to benefit of its citizen by preventing chaos and establish order, by protecting and establishing the welfare for its citizens. That can be done through monarchy, dictatorship, democracy, republic, socialism- all of which is superior to anarchy and disorder.
God's plan for family is to bring children into the world with the parents having the authority to train and bring up their offspring in the honor and admonition of the Lord. Parents have the authority and responsibility to provide for and protect their children. Even though our society has changed, even though there are many parents who have given up their authority, even though there are some who have abused and misused their God given responsibility, this was and still is the plan that God had given for nurture and protection of children. If they cannot do it, then government steps in and does it. But that isn't the first plan of God.
In Biblical days children weren't granted any rights. They were seen as property. In the Greek world they could be sold by their parents as slaves. Or if a father acquired debts he could not pay his whole family could be sold as slaves to pay off the debts. In fact, in Rome a slave had more rights than a child did.
As followers of Jesus Christ there is a relationship of responsibility as well as authority. It begins with making a strong marriage in which to raise children. There are important roles designed for both the father and mother to play in child rearing. In cases of father's death or abandonment God has proclaimed a special category where he gives grace and blessing to those women who bear that responsibility. He gave the church also responsibility to help single parents, which we need to take seriously and more so in the days ahead.
The best thing you can do to raise strong children is to have a strong marriage. Are their perfect parents? Of course not. Sin, selfishness, pride creeps in and mistakes and offenses are clearly made, but there is a plan that gives guidance.
Do kids tell parents what to do? No; Do parents tell God what to do? No. Do kids tell each other what to do? No. Do parents tell kids what to do? Yes. Does God tell parents what to do? Yes. And it is the parent’s responsibility to help teach their children God’s ways. To learn to mature is not just independence from parents, but dependence on the Lord. That is the order that leads to blessings in the long run.
Pastor Dale
Sermon Nuggets Wed Dec 23
Importance of Obedience
I believe the importance of order and responsibility are also a spiritual issue. Attitudes of authority can be the basis of children’s early relationship with the Lord. How they obey the parents will influence how they are to obey the Lord some day.
Obedience is related to respect. It means one is ready to receive instruction, but is submissive to correction and direction. The more someone sees himself as dependent the easier it is to obey, the less one sees himself as dependent the harder it is to obey.
Obedient children please the Lord. It is right. And even if parents are not perfect God has place them in that responsibility to provide order and training. That is God's design.
There are rare occasions when the state or police or social services needs to intervene because that authority is neglected or abusive, but rather than seek to be the exception to the rule, children need to learn obedience at home for life lessons in the future toward others who are in authority in their lives.
Luke 2:41 They went down to Nazareth with them and was obedient to them But his mother treasured all these things in her heart, and Jesus grew in wisdom and stature and in favor with God and men."
Jesus was 12 years old at this point often considered an adult in their society, but as long as he was with his family it was the will of the Father in heaven for Jesus to be obedient to the parents on earth, even though they were not sinless and they were not perfect. Jesus who is to be our example was an obedient son. A child who does not learn to obey his parents often has problems throughout his or her life with authority. He will defy his teachers, employers, police, and others.
When parents are able to receive exhibit authority in love children are more secure and trusting.
My friend who was a nursery school director informed me her children play happily when they know what they can and cannot do, and where their boundaries are. They will check from time to time to see that those boundaries are secure. If they fine simple rules are not kept increased anxiety results. If the teachers are consistent with keeping the rules and giving correction to the children who try to go beyond those boundaries there is increased disorder.
It is true of any leadership. If our country believes in the strength and trust of its leaders they are more apt to be followed. The more the leadership ignores laws and sets up rules unto themselves the result is lack of trust, order, and security.
Dr. Laura Schlessinger was a popular radio talk host on family values and personal concerns. Unfortunately she was taken off the air from secular radio when her view conflicted with homosexual political correctness. Here is an except from her conversation with a teen girl from her program. "your mother's concern is your welfare and she is totally responsible. If you go out and do anything, the police come back and make her pay for it. She is completely, morally, socially, psychologically, emotionally, physically, and financially responsible for you. When someone has all that responsibility you better believe they have the power. You will have the power, my dear young lady, when you take over all those responsibilities for yourself. The person with the responsibility has the power. You have absolutely no responsibility therefore, you have virtually no power.
"You are not controlled. You are incredibly well taken care of. That's correct that you can't have your own way because at 15 you don't have enough wisdom and experience in life to know what the right way is. You only know what you want and what your other friends have. You mother has a broader picture and it frighten me that you don't respect that.
"You have a right to ask. You have a right to negotiate and discuss. You have no right to argue with your mother None. Zero. But you can negotiate and ask. It is disrespectful and arrogant to argue, but it reasonable to say, "Here is the plan. Here are the ideas. Does this meet everything?" When then your parents make a decision and you honor it. You know what respecting your mother means? You ask her, She thinks it though she makes a decision and you say, "Yes, ma'am. " and when you're totally responsible for all your bills and all your welfare, you can frustrate yourself with your own decision. But right now you honor the person who is totally taking care of you and gave you life.”
As parents and grandparents if God has given you responsibility to teach them to obey as unto the Lord even if it makes you less popular. We are not talking about needless rules, or conflict of power for the sake of power, but an understanding and caring heart that is secure in doing what is best for any child will go well and be in keeping with God’s design in the child parent relationship.
However, children will also watch to see if you are respectful and obedient to those who are in authority over you. Show them the values of order and obedience and how to respectfully handle disagreements. Leave the long term results and consequences to the Lord. Pray for wisdom. Don’t be afraid to apologize when you make a bad decision. Integrity with good intent goes a long way.
Pastor Dale
Sermon nuggets Thurs Dec 24
Verses- Eph 6:1-4 Children, obey your parents in the Lord, for this is right. "Honor your father and mother"-- which is the first commandment with a promise--"that it may go well with you and that you may enjoy long life on the earth."
Fathers, do not exasperate your children; instead, bring them up in the training and instruction of the Lord.
Issue of Offense
The passage in Ephesians helps us understand what it means to exasperate the children. Parents must bear responsibility to be parents. It is not always a fun job any more than being a kid is always fun. It means stepping up to the plate and taking the responsibility to provide correction and training and love, and rebuke and discipline.
Exasperation isn't the same as making them upset, but it keeping them from proper goals. The opposite of exasperation is bringing them instead in the training and instruction of the Lord.
Exasperation is when the child has no understanding where he is at, what he should do. It comes with lack of training, lack of love, lack of understanding. It happens when there is unfairness, and abuse, anger, and manipulation. Exasperation results when children are confused.
Exasperation is when parents are cheating and drunk, and not providing for their family, or not spending time with children, or giving very little interest in their activities. It makes them feel unimportant.
Exasperation is not the same as a child who is upset with house rules or discipline. Hebrews 12 makes it clear that no one likes discipline, but it produces good fruit in the long run. Even God our Father disciplines us because he loves us. A loving parent will discipline their children. An uncaring parent will only discipline them if they get in their way, or keep them from their own selfish pursuits, otherwise they ignore them.
It is a grave responsibility of parents toward raising children who bear the image of God on them. To steer them into adulthood, to recognize they're on loan from God.
Some will say a child need to ventilate his or her anger and say anything and throw things to get it out and not stuff it? Is that true in the adult world? If an adult is upset with a policeman and call him names and throw things at him, does that produce good? Respect is learning proper way of expressing feelings-the need to be heard and need to listen. Parents that is true for children.
I remember a story of a young child and mother going into restaurant to order. She wanted a hamburger, No children. With ketchup, no vegetable with chicken. fries, no chicken. coke. Milk.
"Mom, she thinks I'm a person.”
I quote a poem by Henry Matthew Ward called By Example
When I got mad and hit my child, "For his own good," I reconciled And then, I realized my plight. Today, I taught my child to fight.
When interrupted by the phone I said, "Tell them I'm not at home." And then I thought, and had to sigh- Today I taught my child to lie.
I told the tax man what I made, Forgetting cash that I was paid And then I blushed at this sad feat, Today, I taught my child to cheat.
I smugly copied a cassette, To keep me free of one more debt. But now the bells of shame must peal, Today I taught my child to steal.
Today, I cursed another race. Oh God, protect what I debase, For now, I fear it is too late. Today, I taught my child to hate.
By my example, children learn, That I must lead in life's sojourn In such a way that they are led, By what is done, not what is said.
Today, I gave my child his due, By Praises for him instead of rue. And now I have begun my guide: Today, I gave my child his pride.
I now have reconciled and paid To IRS on all I made. And now I know that this dear youth, Today has learned from me of Truth.
The alms I give are not for show. And yet, this child must surely know That charity is worth the price; Today, he saw my sacrifice.
I clasp within a warm embrace My neighbor of another race- The great commandment from above. Today, I taught my child to love.
Someday, my child must face alone, This world of fearsome undertone, But I have blazed a sure pathway; Today, I taught my child to pray."
Pastor Dale
Sermon Nuggets Sat Dec 26
Importance of Fathers
As we conclude this passage for the week we noticed the instructions of verse 21 apply to both parents, but it is directed to fathers. There are many studies that speak of the importance of the father and his role in the family. The father has tremendous impact has on the child for good and for ill.
There has been a dramatic rise in absent fathers from the home. Psychologist, Christopher Bacorn reported in the past in Newsweek magazine that he sees clients in their teens abusing alcohol, falling into gangs, failing school and committing violent crimes. One consistent pattern among many of these males is no father figure in the home.
Further research shows greater negative impact on children when a father leaves the home than if he dies.
Where are the Dads? Bacorn says where they are not. “They are not a PTA meetings or piano recitals. They're not teaching SS, taking their children to the doctors when they are sick. They can't be seen at juvenile court when Junior is facing sentencing. Where you find many of them are at taverns drinking, conversing playing pool. At casinos gambling, or on golf courses, tennis courts, and bowling allows. They are working at their jobs from early morning to late at night. They are watching TV or tuning up the car. They are every where but in the presence of their children.”
Bacorn reveals that not only do many boys lack a sense of how a man should behave without proper models, many girls don't know either, having little exposure to healthy male female relationships.
In another article John Heiman was US comptroller of the currency in the Carter administration, Charged with the supervision of the national banking system. He took his son and daughter with him to business meetings so they could see what their dad did. Such business meetings were meant for men and women. Sometimes at formal dinners it was not the most stimulating for children, but he tried to include them in conversations, which also helped him keep some of the concepts simple to explain and kept his antagonists polite in their presence.
When his son was in college he surprised his dad coming into one of the banking meetings dressed like a Hippie. Dad was embarrassed. When the meeting ending the chairman stopped Heiman and asked. "How did you get him to come with you? My son refuses to join me in anything I do. What have you done to encourage him? What a son!”
Today Joshua is an officer of a bank. Time paid off.
It is time for the modern father to step up to the plate of responsibility of parenting and not leaving it up to the mothers alone. The family was designed for the male to take his role as God designed. He is to take the initiative to give spiritual training, love and discipline. He is to train and reproof, to play and to work. He is part of the balance with the mother that each child needs to grow in our society and mature as we model Kingdom living before our kids.
Pastor Dale
Friday, December 18, 2009
Marriage Col 3:17-19
Sermon Nuggets Mon Dec 14
Theme Marriage relationships
Verses
Col 3:17-19
17 And whatever you do, whether in word or deed, do it all in the name of the Lord Jesus, giving thanks to God the Father through him.
18 Wives, submit to your husbands, as is fitting in the Lord.
19 Husbands, love your wives and do not be harsh with them.
Marriage – A personal Dialogue
As most know sermon nuggets are adapted from past sermons. My wife, Judi and I dialogued about these verses in 1998 as a public presentation replacing the traditional sermon. Because of the controversy within evangelical circles over the role of husbands and wives and how we play that out today, I believe there have been abuses on both extremes of liberal and conservative interpretations. For those who are into labels we fall into the or Complementarian interpretation as opposed to the Egalitarian views. We follow more of a conservative view of marriage taking the verses to emphasize the differences in seeking to complement one another.
As is the case with most differences of opinions it is my observations that each side pushes the opposing position into views that do not fairly represent them. Each couple must start with the honest desire to make verse 17 their guideline. Do whatever you do in the name of the Lord Jesus Christ. Ultimate even our marriages are not personal, they are to be a reflection of Gods’ will for the couple and whatever roles they chose to agree on is to reflect the character of Jesus to one another and to those around them.
This week is a presentation of personal dialogue that Judi and I had before the congregation.
DALE: The writings of Paul move from theological to practical. We reviewed that all we have is God's and whatever we do in word or deed should be to the glory of God. The most important relationship we can have is with God, our creator. But the second command is love your neighbor as yourself.
We carry our Christian commitment into our families, first with our spouse, then our children. It affects our work, life, and church. Those are subjects of our upcoming thoughts from this book of Colossians.
Marriage and family relationships are of central importance in living out our Christian commitment. This passage is straight and to the point. It is in the living out of these principles that we need help. God gave us a great plan when it comes to marriage. But in a testimonial way I thought of inviting Judi to join with me as we reflect on marriage together. Now perhaps a better setting to share something like this is a Sunday evening service or Sunday school, but many of you do not attend those events and some things we feel strongly about sharing.
Now we all know that a pastor's family must be perfect. A pastor is the ideal husband. His wife is dutiful supporter. They are an example to their flock. Judi, tell us what it's like to live in a perfect marriage.
JUDI - Yes, it is great to be part of a perfect marriage with a perfect man and perfect woman. To have your marriage arranged by God in heaven and have no doubts who you should marry or how you should get along. That's right. Let me read what it is like. (read Gen 1:26-31)
That's the perfect marriage in the perfect environment where God the perfect match maker make the perfect woman for the perfect man and created the perfect marriage for the perfect family. But when sin came as we read about in chapter two that ended this perfect marriage thing. From then on the relationships between men and women have not been according to God's first and perfect plan.
DALE- Except pastor's families.
JUDI- Including pastor's families. For since all have sinned and come short of the glory of God. We are two people who struggle with our old natures; We do not act the way we want to or should. We face all the challenges of any other couple. In fact there may be a few added pressures on our marriage that some marriages do not face. But every marriage has its pressures.
DALE- We are not marriage experts. We are open to whatever help we can get to work on making our relationship stronger. Judi has some things to learn, and so do I. Marriage is too complex for anyone who thinks he/she has mastered the art.
One fellow who owned two parrots thought he needed an expert. He wanted to know which the female was and which the male was. A person standing near said, "I'm a bird expert and I can tell you. If you'll notice every time the birds eat worms, the male bird always eats the male worms and the female bird always eats the female worms."
"Well how do you know which is the male and which is the female worm?" "Oh said, the fellow, ‘I don't know that. You see, I'm just a bird expert." Perhaps that's what it is like with marriage experts.
Preachers and spouses do not have a handle on everything there is to know about being marriage, but it is also important to say we have problems, struggles, tensions. We are very human. It is not just the laity that are going through divorces. Many clergy face this today.
Judi and I have seen ministry friends split up and go through divorce.
JUDI - A few years ago I spent time with one of my closest friends while Dale talked often with her husband, who had an affair. They tried to reconcile for awhile, but the clergyman returned to his girl friend, not only gave up the family, but his ministry, job, and turned his back on faith. This hurt deeply. We should not take lightly the Scriptures that say, "What God has joined together, let not man break up" It has serious consequences and hurts for years to come with all family members.
Like all relationships it takes work. It is not always easy. It carries lots of pain that might be avoided if both people took very seriously their relationship to the Lord.
DALE I see verse 17 a key to not only direct our individual lives but our marriages together as the two become one. So the journey is a spiritual one with committed Christian husbands and wives. When we covet before God and our friends to remain faithful to one another, we are not naïve. It takes three-a husband, a wife and the Lord.
Pastor Dale
Sermon Nuggets Tues Dec 15 09
Why Marriage
DALE - Let me tell you how I saw marriage before I was married. When I was single I was afraid to get married. I think for three reasons.
First, I enjoyed my freedom and living the way I wanted without necessarily being responsible to another person. I could eat what I wanted, when I wanted, and my time was my own. I could spend or save money as I wished, and had control over the TV, Radio, and record player.
Secondly, I was in ministry as a youth pastor and it became very hard for me to realize how I could work in time with a wife or family with ministry demands. I was finishing up my studies at the same time.
Thirdly, I was afraid of divorce. I knew if I went into the ministry, which I believed God called me to, a divorce would ruin my future. With the rise of marriages breaking up, even among clergy, I was afraid to chance it. I believe I could stay true to my commitment with God’s help, but I had no control or guarantee that whom ever I married would want to stay with me. The right type of wife is especially important in ministry.
JUDI- I want to add that for some of you who are single. It is perfectly OK to be single. You're definitely not a second-class citizen in the Kingdom of God. Paul in 1 Cor 7 makes that clear. Dale spoke on that last Spring.
Because of what I had seen growing up in my family, being married was not number one on my list. I was preparing for the mission field which took priority.
DALE: There were a number of reasons why I wanted to get married, even before I met Judi. As a healthy male with sexual desires I knew that God would honor the marriage bed and that sexuality outside of marriage was disobedience to God's commands. I wanted to live my life for God not personal pleasures and lusts, so that would be a big reason to get married.
I didn't completely understand love at that time, but whatever it was, it would be an important factor in a relationship. I knew the love of parents, the love of friends, but not the love of a wife or of children, that was a curiosity for me.
I also knew that most churches would not hire a single pastor. Yet those singles who loved the Lord and called to ministry give far more time and effort to their calling than those who were married. Unfortunately, because of our sexually saturated society single professionals, especially men, are suspect of promiscuity or homosexuality which just is not true for most.
I would be dishonest if I didn’t also say I experienced loneliness. My life was very full with people in ministry, but also no one with whom I could share my personal intimate thoughts and dreams who would accept me, love me, and not judge me.
But when I went to a Bill Gothard Seminar in the 70s there was one statement that came home to me as I was considering marriage. "Can you serve God better as a single person or married couple?" What is God's will for you?
The reason I really like that is because of the passage. “Whatever you do, do it for God's glory.” Was it God's will for me?
JUDI- If someone seeks to put Christ first in their life, that place of priority does not change when a woman meets a man she starts to love. In fact, the prayers increase that God would be clear in his direction and if seemed to be His will that we marry then I was willing to look at our relationship beyond just being friends enjoying one another’s company.
I had seen some of my nursing friends quickly give up their career and goals when some man came into their life. I wondered if their feelings for a man clouded their commitment which seemed so right before. I didn’t want that to happen to me.
I respected Dale’s commitment and believed God called him into the ministry, but I needed to ask if I felt I could partner with him in the church and in the responsibilities that a pastor’s wife is expected to fulfill. I wasn’t sure I was. So one of my hesitancies was to deal with my heart and how a husband would change that direction for me. How could God use my education, training, and personality in a different direction that I intended? That was important for me.
Pastor Dale
Sermon Nuggets Weds Dec 16
Before Marriage
JUDI - The Bible says that you are not your own you have been bought with a price. (I Cor 6:20) I had given my life to Jesus Christ at 9 years old and planned to be a missionary nurse. I gave God the complete right and freedom to do whatever He wanted. I later reconfirmed that desire to have Him lead me in my life. As I got closer to graduation from High School I had a desire to go into nursing as well as become a missionary. I enrolled at Moody Bible Institute in Chicago for Bible background.
While listening to many speakers at Moody, as well as through personal reading and talking with others I came to think there might be other roads before me than just the mission field. I had a friend who applied to a Christian nursing school, Mounds Midway School of Nursing in St. Paul. I decided that would be the next step of the journey for me.
DALE- In 1971 Judi and I met at a wedding in Rochester, Minnesota. She had graduated and was working at Midway Hospital. I was a Seminary student while serving as a youth pastor at Olivet Baptist in Robbinsdale. I was glad we were a bit older, out of college, had other interests, working, and somewhat financially stable.
I want to caution young people against marrying too early in life. I believe the greatest changes in a person are between 18-24 years of age.
I think another very important factor in our dating was the truth of the Bible that says "Do not be unequally yoked with unbelievers." (2 Cor 6:14) I have had friends marry non Christians who told me later how they wished they would have obeyed the Bible. They thought love would conquer all. But the most important relationship you will have will be with Jesus. And young people, since every date is a potential mate, date Christians.
JUDI- In addition let prayer be part of your dating. There are some couples who still have never prayed together as husband and wife. I prayed regularly that God would send the right man to me if I was to marry. But frankly I thought God would be clearer than He was. I was sure my dream man would be tall dark and handsome like my brothers. Well, we don’t always get what we want, but God had a different idea.
DALE: One of my spiritual heroes is Billy Graham. When he first met Ruth he knew that was the woman for him. But he also had previous relationships that he felt were the right ones for him. Having complete confidence in the partner God sent wasn't true for us.
Our dating was filled with doubts. I knew I was to marry a Christian. I prayed about it. If God called me to the ministry, I would want that to be part of the criteria for a wife. If was important to me that she would be willing to join me in ministry and the added struggles of not living in a house that is our own, possible moving every four years, being expected to come to church and actively participate in the program.
I thought it would be important that she would be willing to entertain, have people stop by unexpectedly, and of course be able to put up with me. I wanted a woman who would be a good mother to my future children.
JUDI- Since many Mounds Midway nurses married someone from Bethel Seminary I did not want to marry a Bethel man, nor a minister. Through personal and spiritual self searching God was changing me.
If I was to marry I wanted a man who loved God, was sensitive but with a good sense of humor. It was very important that he held the same personal values I did.
Dale and I dated three years, before we married and of course, now live happily ever after.
DALE- The frustrating part of making the decision to marry for me was the lack of 100% confidence that she as the one for me. I envied others who had that confidence. In our relationship when I was ready to make a commitment she wasn’t. Then I would back off and she was ready to move forward. We decided to stop seeing or talking with each other for month and just pray about if we should continue our relationship.
During that time I just concluded that she exhibited the important qualities that would make a good wife and mother. (not to mention the fact that she was very good looking!) We talked a lot together and didn’t try to put the best foot forward. We both knew honesty would be essential for any future relationship, even expressing our frustrations and doubts.
JUDI- I continued to work at the ICU ward at Midway Hospital. I moved on with important things in my life like finding an apartment, signing a lease, purchasing a car and seeking to pay off my school loans. I attended a local church and decided not to go to the church Dale attended because of distance, as well as not to be pushed by expectations of others into a relationship that we enjoyed but were willing to change plans if indeed God had someone else for us.
DALE- I was coming up to graduation from Seminary and still didn’t think the timing was right. I interviewed with a couple of church committees churches but was declined further interviews since I was single. I also wondered if the Lord was opening the door for hospital chaplaincy. I decided to stay on at the church as part time youth pastor and study at Hennepin General Hospital with their Clinical pastoral education program. I would be in the area and we could keep talking and praying about our future together even if the pastorate was not for me.
I learned what it means to walk more by faith than sight. To keep doing the basics; being what God wanted me to be and trust He will lead when that time is right for change. I was learning that being in the will of God was more being that doing. He was working on me.
Pastor Dale
Sermon nuggets Thurs Dec 17
Adjustments to Marriage
DALE- My hardest year was the first year of marriage. It is during this time there is both excitement of romantic love and adjustments to the realities of daily living. After a few months I really became confused if I had made the right choice. I didn't like the adjustment period. I enjoyed the sexual relationships, but I am convinced if I was not married with the spiritual commitment to her and God I might have left like many singles do when they just choose to live together. I would not have understood love on the deeper level that only comes with such commitment. Some people like the change and flexibility and challenge of new things, but later discover feelings aren’t the same as commitment.
JUDI- Commitment involves the spiritual, physical, social, and psychological.
The conflict of wills was a big one. We didn't agree financially on how to spend our money and buy things, even though we discussed it before marriage. We didn't agree on what type of purchases, personal, home, or professional. The biggest difference was the priorities of purchases and savings. Finances are the common causes for conflict in a relationship. Our financial habits were different before marriage and to change quickly was not easy. It seemed to me I had to do most of the changing.
There are other circumstantial adjustments when a couple goes through changes. Right after we were married Dale had a job as a Chaplain in nursing homes. We purchased a new home four months after marriage. After 6 months my sister came to live with us, since my parents had died. She was almost 12 at the time. So now we had the privilege of raising a teen when we hardly were used to one another.
DALE- In adding to the adjustment of living with another person who was fun to date and dream about the future, now we needed to develop our own routine. Most counselors advise not having children the first year of marriage so the couple has a chance to really get to know one another. I suppose with having Marti come into our home it was like marrying someone who already had an adolescent.
I resented the positive conversations the Judi would have with Marti, while the times we talked were regulated to address necessities of living, parenting, and time management.
Judi also returned to college to get a BSN four year nursing degree. It was then I realized she was driven to be an all A student or felt like a failure. Being a new wife, a mother to her sister, continuing to work ¾ time and a student provided stress. I was feeling like my quality time with her was almost non existent. Instead of dates or walks we were delegated to the necessities of living, talking care of Marti, driving her to school activities, shopping, laundry and church. I felt I was being ignored. I didn't want to admit it, but I was jealous of her time. It was also awkward to define my role with a sister-in-law not really being a parent but having guardianship responsibilities.
JUDI- part of every relationship is learning how to fight fair. When emotions are hurt it is easy to be offensive or defensive. We want to either attack the other because we feel hurt, or we want to crawl into a shell and not communicate. It is an important lesson to learn that disagreements are part of a relationship, and they should be looked on tool to deepen the relationship. Each brings their personalities into making a stronger solution.
DALE- since the Bible says not to let the sun go down on your anger (Eph 4:26) I wanted to resolve arguments right away. She remained silent and didn’t want to talk about it. When I would force the issue to get it resolved it seemed to get worse. The unresolved tension became a threat to me.
One night she wisely said to me, “I promise we will discuss this in the next day or two. You are very verbal and can express yourself easily. I need to think about it and what I am feeling and how I want to say it. We are different. I can’t come up with all the solutions until I can think them through.”
That made sense to me. The fact the problem wasn’t being ignored, just delayed helped me feel better and come to realize she didn’t have to be like me, nor was I being ignored. The conversations later proved to be more productive and helpful than on the spot solutions which I thought we needed.
JUDI- After I got my degree Dale moved from being a chaplain with regular work hours to moving to a new community and taking on the responsibility of a pastorate. Now his schedule involved day and night responsibilities. When we were at home he seemed to be thinking about the next sermon, Sunday School lesson, or church problem to be addressed. I didn’t have school and work as before. Now I resented the time he spent at the church in many meetings. Most of the activities we did revolved around the church not leaving much personal time. I was feeling lonely missing my friends from Minnesota.
DALE- I believed I was in the will and direction of the Lord, but I had a lot to learn about being a pastor. Not only were there expectations from many people for my attention, but also for us as a “family”. Learning new roles in a new environment also took adjustment and needed communication that we didn’t always have. Even our rare vacation times were with Marti.
Fortunately Judi enjoyed calling with me at the hospitals and with shut-ins and driving in the country provided talk time. I enjoyed the fact that she was sharing in the ministry and the people also like it.
We did have devotions together and prayed about our marriage. We never questioned love or commitment to each other. But change was needed and it wasn’t going to happen without a plan to change and a process to evaluate progress.
Pastor Dale
Sermon Nuggets Fri Dec 18
A Better Spouse
DALE- Part of growing in a relationship is to take time for one another. I decided at least monthly to date my wife.
My desire to be a better husband comes wanting to please the Lord as well as Judi. "Husbands love your wives and do not be harsh with them." If I take my faith seriously, then I must take my relationship with Judi seriously.
I have emotional feeling for her that I call love. But the Bible does not speak about love in that way. Love is a commitment. I must be committed to her in faithfulness. There are needs in my life that I choose that only she can fulfill. She has my promise on that.
But I also realize that I cannot meet all of Judi's needs nor can she meet all of mine. It would be idolatry to think she can or should.
JUDI- Some struggle with the thought “Wives, submit to your husbands, as is fitting to the Lord.” Part of submission to Dale is a public awareness that he is my husband and I am his- no other. That is fitting to the Lord. I choose not to flirt; I do not dress to please other men. I do not make decisions regarding my schedule that would involve home or family or church time without consulting him.
For me submission is harder to discuss, than practice. Perhaps it's a matter of pride. I resented it when he tried to control or manipulate me, but when he included me in choices I learned to trust him more.
DALE- If I was to take Judi's concerns seriously, as a Christian husband, I needed to make some changes in our relationship. Some interpret this passage to mean treat your husband as if he is the Lord. That would also be idolatry. When God’s word say submit to those in authority over you, it was the Apostles who fulfilled God’s will by obeying God rather than man when two commands conflicted.
I was convicted of sin against Judi by being harsh with her in some areas. I was strangling her freedom to use some of our money in ways that she thought would be best for the both of us. I wanted it my way which is not love. Love is not selfish. So one thing that helped was to agree Judi had some money she could call her own that I would have no say over. She could blow it however she wanted even if it was on things that I felt were unnecessary. Call it an allowance; call it a gift; it doesn't make a difference. It was hers to do as she wanted and emotionally I gave up the right to comment on her purchases as an act of love for her.
JUDI- It also became important for me to not create win and lose situations. Rather than put down Dale or hold anger against him I sought harder to clarify the issues of disagreement and work on solutions that were mutually acceptable. I learned there were times to compromise and times to raise up discussion and not to remain silent. We learned to evaluate what was really important to address and what wasn’t. It was a submission of power that eliminated lots of conflicts. We tried to keep the focus on the issue rather than whose idea or opinion ought to win over the other. As we thought more about the issue of our discussion and not our pride it was an important step to work on solutions and decisions.
DALE- I did not want Judi to be like a child where I was a parent over her doing what I told her and expecting her to comply with my wishes. She is not a child.
Nor did I want to be her sergeant and she a private in the army. You need that type of leadership if you are at war. But the Biblical model of leadership taught by Jesus is servant leadership. Jesus gave himself for his disciples. He loved them and first acted in ways he wanted them to follow. He told them "Don't be like the Gentiles that Lord it over one another" Rather the one who should be first must be last. (Matt 20:25-26)
Judi is a woman created by God to be a helper, friend, and partner. When I saw her as God's gift to me, I become a steward of one of God's children with responsibility to encourage her to grow as an individual hand made by God to serve Him. To respect her uniqueness and be aware that God gave her to me to teach me important lessons for my spiritual growth. He knew how we were to compliment each other. What I appreciate and love more was her respect and trust for me. I know that isn't always easy. Trusting and agreeing with my decisions was her way to make me feel worthwhile to her. I felt good about that which also had the opposite effect of not wanted to control but ask for her opinions.
By making me feel worthwhile built me up in ways that she probably doesn't imagine. If she does not agree with a decision we talk about it. I choose out of love for her not to want to decide something that is for my benefit, but our benefit.
It was okay to readily admit there are many areas that she is much more capable of handling than I. Another major change for me was the adjustment that I do not have to be right, or smart, or have my way of doing things. I do not have the have the last word on everything. She probably still doesn't think so, but I can admit and listen to her when she has an idea that is better than mine. It's not a male ego thing for me to have to get my way.
JUDI- Out of my love and commitment to God and Dale I try to be his loyal supporter, unconditional listening post, giving feedback when he asks. Growing and maintaining our marriage and home is my number one priority above pursuing further degrees or other job placements which would take me away from home or church.
DALE- What has God taught me in the years of marriage since 1974? That I could not have picked a better person suited for me than the one God picks. I was pleasantly surprised discovering after we were married how much we agreed on the important things of life, things we did not think of talking about before marriage. She is my best friend and counselor. I readily admit that I am dependent upon her. I would not want to hurt her in any way.
Also it is hard for me to imagine marriages that do not have open communication. I can't imagine being married and not talking about hopes, dreams, disappointments, frustrations, and even disagreements. Judi has saved me 1,000 of dollars in therapist fees! She has kept confidences, although if pastoral matters do not concern her about other people I do not share those with her.
I think the reason we can discuss our thoughts and concerns and weaknesses is because we work at not putting the other person down. I see the hurt in her eyes when she feels that way. There is no one who can hurt me more emotionally than Judi. She chooses not to. There is no one I can hurt more emotionally that Judi. I chose not to. What good does that do? We seek to hold our tongues when we are angry to refocus on the issue and not our irritation, but can admit when we have angry feelings.
We are different personalities. She puts up with more than I put up with and I know that. She prays for me and that means more to me than she ever knows. I can trust her completely.
I could go into different ways people feel loved- gifts, touch, talking, time spent with the other, doing little (or big) things for them. Telling your spouse frequently “I love you.” in different ways doesn’t hurt either.
JUDI- I found that I cannot change Dale I can only work on changing me. It is very important for me to share my thoughts, preferences and ideas with my husband. Husbands are not mind readers. Nor are they perfect; nor are they God.
God has a will for both of us together to serve Him and bring glory to His name through our lives and marriage. When God called Dale into the ministry I accepted that as my calling as well. Although I feel I come short, but my prayer is that the Lord is honored in my relationship to him as a wife.
DALE- God has given me instructions as a Husband. Verse 18 is someone else mail, not mine. Verse 19 is mail for husbands. I have nothing to say about how Judi is supposed to submit to me as fitting to the Lord. That is between her and God. Do you get what I am saying? I have an awful lot of responsibility to love her and not be harsh with her. That is God's letter to me.
1 Corinthians 13 give me more to think about love and how to act toward her than I wish was in the chapter. I realize only Christ is the perfect lover. I am glad He modeled that for me as an example to others and especially Judi. I am glad He has given to me the Holy Spirit to work on me and our relationship together.
(We closed the service praying for one another and for the couples in the church)
Pastor Dale
Theme Marriage relationships
Verses
Col 3:17-19
17 And whatever you do, whether in word or deed, do it all in the name of the Lord Jesus, giving thanks to God the Father through him.
18 Wives, submit to your husbands, as is fitting in the Lord.
19 Husbands, love your wives and do not be harsh with them.
Marriage – A personal Dialogue
As most know sermon nuggets are adapted from past sermons. My wife, Judi and I dialogued about these verses in 1998 as a public presentation replacing the traditional sermon. Because of the controversy within evangelical circles over the role of husbands and wives and how we play that out today, I believe there have been abuses on both extremes of liberal and conservative interpretations. For those who are into labels we fall into the or Complementarian interpretation as opposed to the Egalitarian views. We follow more of a conservative view of marriage taking the verses to emphasize the differences in seeking to complement one another.
As is the case with most differences of opinions it is my observations that each side pushes the opposing position into views that do not fairly represent them. Each couple must start with the honest desire to make verse 17 their guideline. Do whatever you do in the name of the Lord Jesus Christ. Ultimate even our marriages are not personal, they are to be a reflection of Gods’ will for the couple and whatever roles they chose to agree on is to reflect the character of Jesus to one another and to those around them.
This week is a presentation of personal dialogue that Judi and I had before the congregation.
DALE: The writings of Paul move from theological to practical. We reviewed that all we have is God's and whatever we do in word or deed should be to the glory of God. The most important relationship we can have is with God, our creator. But the second command is love your neighbor as yourself.
We carry our Christian commitment into our families, first with our spouse, then our children. It affects our work, life, and church. Those are subjects of our upcoming thoughts from this book of Colossians.
Marriage and family relationships are of central importance in living out our Christian commitment. This passage is straight and to the point. It is in the living out of these principles that we need help. God gave us a great plan when it comes to marriage. But in a testimonial way I thought of inviting Judi to join with me as we reflect on marriage together. Now perhaps a better setting to share something like this is a Sunday evening service or Sunday school, but many of you do not attend those events and some things we feel strongly about sharing.
Now we all know that a pastor's family must be perfect. A pastor is the ideal husband. His wife is dutiful supporter. They are an example to their flock. Judi, tell us what it's like to live in a perfect marriage.
JUDI - Yes, it is great to be part of a perfect marriage with a perfect man and perfect woman. To have your marriage arranged by God in heaven and have no doubts who you should marry or how you should get along. That's right. Let me read what it is like. (read Gen 1:26-31)
That's the perfect marriage in the perfect environment where God the perfect match maker make the perfect woman for the perfect man and created the perfect marriage for the perfect family. But when sin came as we read about in chapter two that ended this perfect marriage thing. From then on the relationships between men and women have not been according to God's first and perfect plan.
DALE- Except pastor's families.
JUDI- Including pastor's families. For since all have sinned and come short of the glory of God. We are two people who struggle with our old natures; We do not act the way we want to or should. We face all the challenges of any other couple. In fact there may be a few added pressures on our marriage that some marriages do not face. But every marriage has its pressures.
DALE- We are not marriage experts. We are open to whatever help we can get to work on making our relationship stronger. Judi has some things to learn, and so do I. Marriage is too complex for anyone who thinks he/she has mastered the art.
One fellow who owned two parrots thought he needed an expert. He wanted to know which the female was and which the male was. A person standing near said, "I'm a bird expert and I can tell you. If you'll notice every time the birds eat worms, the male bird always eats the male worms and the female bird always eats the female worms."
"Well how do you know which is the male and which is the female worm?" "Oh said, the fellow, ‘I don't know that. You see, I'm just a bird expert." Perhaps that's what it is like with marriage experts.
Preachers and spouses do not have a handle on everything there is to know about being marriage, but it is also important to say we have problems, struggles, tensions. We are very human. It is not just the laity that are going through divorces. Many clergy face this today.
Judi and I have seen ministry friends split up and go through divorce.
JUDI - A few years ago I spent time with one of my closest friends while Dale talked often with her husband, who had an affair. They tried to reconcile for awhile, but the clergyman returned to his girl friend, not only gave up the family, but his ministry, job, and turned his back on faith. This hurt deeply. We should not take lightly the Scriptures that say, "What God has joined together, let not man break up" It has serious consequences and hurts for years to come with all family members.
Like all relationships it takes work. It is not always easy. It carries lots of pain that might be avoided if both people took very seriously their relationship to the Lord.
DALE I see verse 17 a key to not only direct our individual lives but our marriages together as the two become one. So the journey is a spiritual one with committed Christian husbands and wives. When we covet before God and our friends to remain faithful to one another, we are not naïve. It takes three-a husband, a wife and the Lord.
Pastor Dale
Sermon Nuggets Tues Dec 15 09
Why Marriage
DALE - Let me tell you how I saw marriage before I was married. When I was single I was afraid to get married. I think for three reasons.
First, I enjoyed my freedom and living the way I wanted without necessarily being responsible to another person. I could eat what I wanted, when I wanted, and my time was my own. I could spend or save money as I wished, and had control over the TV, Radio, and record player.
Secondly, I was in ministry as a youth pastor and it became very hard for me to realize how I could work in time with a wife or family with ministry demands. I was finishing up my studies at the same time.
Thirdly, I was afraid of divorce. I knew if I went into the ministry, which I believed God called me to, a divorce would ruin my future. With the rise of marriages breaking up, even among clergy, I was afraid to chance it. I believe I could stay true to my commitment with God’s help, but I had no control or guarantee that whom ever I married would want to stay with me. The right type of wife is especially important in ministry.
JUDI- I want to add that for some of you who are single. It is perfectly OK to be single. You're definitely not a second-class citizen in the Kingdom of God. Paul in 1 Cor 7 makes that clear. Dale spoke on that last Spring.
Because of what I had seen growing up in my family, being married was not number one on my list. I was preparing for the mission field which took priority.
DALE: There were a number of reasons why I wanted to get married, even before I met Judi. As a healthy male with sexual desires I knew that God would honor the marriage bed and that sexuality outside of marriage was disobedience to God's commands. I wanted to live my life for God not personal pleasures and lusts, so that would be a big reason to get married.
I didn't completely understand love at that time, but whatever it was, it would be an important factor in a relationship. I knew the love of parents, the love of friends, but not the love of a wife or of children, that was a curiosity for me.
I also knew that most churches would not hire a single pastor. Yet those singles who loved the Lord and called to ministry give far more time and effort to their calling than those who were married. Unfortunately, because of our sexually saturated society single professionals, especially men, are suspect of promiscuity or homosexuality which just is not true for most.
I would be dishonest if I didn’t also say I experienced loneliness. My life was very full with people in ministry, but also no one with whom I could share my personal intimate thoughts and dreams who would accept me, love me, and not judge me.
But when I went to a Bill Gothard Seminar in the 70s there was one statement that came home to me as I was considering marriage. "Can you serve God better as a single person or married couple?" What is God's will for you?
The reason I really like that is because of the passage. “Whatever you do, do it for God's glory.” Was it God's will for me?
JUDI- If someone seeks to put Christ first in their life, that place of priority does not change when a woman meets a man she starts to love. In fact, the prayers increase that God would be clear in his direction and if seemed to be His will that we marry then I was willing to look at our relationship beyond just being friends enjoying one another’s company.
I had seen some of my nursing friends quickly give up their career and goals when some man came into their life. I wondered if their feelings for a man clouded their commitment which seemed so right before. I didn’t want that to happen to me.
I respected Dale’s commitment and believed God called him into the ministry, but I needed to ask if I felt I could partner with him in the church and in the responsibilities that a pastor’s wife is expected to fulfill. I wasn’t sure I was. So one of my hesitancies was to deal with my heart and how a husband would change that direction for me. How could God use my education, training, and personality in a different direction that I intended? That was important for me.
Pastor Dale
Sermon Nuggets Weds Dec 16
Before Marriage
JUDI - The Bible says that you are not your own you have been bought with a price. (I Cor 6:20) I had given my life to Jesus Christ at 9 years old and planned to be a missionary nurse. I gave God the complete right and freedom to do whatever He wanted. I later reconfirmed that desire to have Him lead me in my life. As I got closer to graduation from High School I had a desire to go into nursing as well as become a missionary. I enrolled at Moody Bible Institute in Chicago for Bible background.
While listening to many speakers at Moody, as well as through personal reading and talking with others I came to think there might be other roads before me than just the mission field. I had a friend who applied to a Christian nursing school, Mounds Midway School of Nursing in St. Paul. I decided that would be the next step of the journey for me.
DALE- In 1971 Judi and I met at a wedding in Rochester, Minnesota. She had graduated and was working at Midway Hospital. I was a Seminary student while serving as a youth pastor at Olivet Baptist in Robbinsdale. I was glad we were a bit older, out of college, had other interests, working, and somewhat financially stable.
I want to caution young people against marrying too early in life. I believe the greatest changes in a person are between 18-24 years of age.
I think another very important factor in our dating was the truth of the Bible that says "Do not be unequally yoked with unbelievers." (2 Cor 6:14) I have had friends marry non Christians who told me later how they wished they would have obeyed the Bible. They thought love would conquer all. But the most important relationship you will have will be with Jesus. And young people, since every date is a potential mate, date Christians.
JUDI- In addition let prayer be part of your dating. There are some couples who still have never prayed together as husband and wife. I prayed regularly that God would send the right man to me if I was to marry. But frankly I thought God would be clearer than He was. I was sure my dream man would be tall dark and handsome like my brothers. Well, we don’t always get what we want, but God had a different idea.
DALE: One of my spiritual heroes is Billy Graham. When he first met Ruth he knew that was the woman for him. But he also had previous relationships that he felt were the right ones for him. Having complete confidence in the partner God sent wasn't true for us.
Our dating was filled with doubts. I knew I was to marry a Christian. I prayed about it. If God called me to the ministry, I would want that to be part of the criteria for a wife. If was important to me that she would be willing to join me in ministry and the added struggles of not living in a house that is our own, possible moving every four years, being expected to come to church and actively participate in the program.
I thought it would be important that she would be willing to entertain, have people stop by unexpectedly, and of course be able to put up with me. I wanted a woman who would be a good mother to my future children.
JUDI- Since many Mounds Midway nurses married someone from Bethel Seminary I did not want to marry a Bethel man, nor a minister. Through personal and spiritual self searching God was changing me.
If I was to marry I wanted a man who loved God, was sensitive but with a good sense of humor. It was very important that he held the same personal values I did.
Dale and I dated three years, before we married and of course, now live happily ever after.
DALE- The frustrating part of making the decision to marry for me was the lack of 100% confidence that she as the one for me. I envied others who had that confidence. In our relationship when I was ready to make a commitment she wasn’t. Then I would back off and she was ready to move forward. We decided to stop seeing or talking with each other for month and just pray about if we should continue our relationship.
During that time I just concluded that she exhibited the important qualities that would make a good wife and mother. (not to mention the fact that she was very good looking!) We talked a lot together and didn’t try to put the best foot forward. We both knew honesty would be essential for any future relationship, even expressing our frustrations and doubts.
JUDI- I continued to work at the ICU ward at Midway Hospital. I moved on with important things in my life like finding an apartment, signing a lease, purchasing a car and seeking to pay off my school loans. I attended a local church and decided not to go to the church Dale attended because of distance, as well as not to be pushed by expectations of others into a relationship that we enjoyed but were willing to change plans if indeed God had someone else for us.
DALE- I was coming up to graduation from Seminary and still didn’t think the timing was right. I interviewed with a couple of church committees churches but was declined further interviews since I was single. I also wondered if the Lord was opening the door for hospital chaplaincy. I decided to stay on at the church as part time youth pastor and study at Hennepin General Hospital with their Clinical pastoral education program. I would be in the area and we could keep talking and praying about our future together even if the pastorate was not for me.
I learned what it means to walk more by faith than sight. To keep doing the basics; being what God wanted me to be and trust He will lead when that time is right for change. I was learning that being in the will of God was more being that doing. He was working on me.
Pastor Dale
Sermon nuggets Thurs Dec 17
Adjustments to Marriage
DALE- My hardest year was the first year of marriage. It is during this time there is both excitement of romantic love and adjustments to the realities of daily living. After a few months I really became confused if I had made the right choice. I didn't like the adjustment period. I enjoyed the sexual relationships, but I am convinced if I was not married with the spiritual commitment to her and God I might have left like many singles do when they just choose to live together. I would not have understood love on the deeper level that only comes with such commitment. Some people like the change and flexibility and challenge of new things, but later discover feelings aren’t the same as commitment.
JUDI- Commitment involves the spiritual, physical, social, and psychological.
The conflict of wills was a big one. We didn't agree financially on how to spend our money and buy things, even though we discussed it before marriage. We didn't agree on what type of purchases, personal, home, or professional. The biggest difference was the priorities of purchases and savings. Finances are the common causes for conflict in a relationship. Our financial habits were different before marriage and to change quickly was not easy. It seemed to me I had to do most of the changing.
There are other circumstantial adjustments when a couple goes through changes. Right after we were married Dale had a job as a Chaplain in nursing homes. We purchased a new home four months after marriage. After 6 months my sister came to live with us, since my parents had died. She was almost 12 at the time. So now we had the privilege of raising a teen when we hardly were used to one another.
DALE- In adding to the adjustment of living with another person who was fun to date and dream about the future, now we needed to develop our own routine. Most counselors advise not having children the first year of marriage so the couple has a chance to really get to know one another. I suppose with having Marti come into our home it was like marrying someone who already had an adolescent.
I resented the positive conversations the Judi would have with Marti, while the times we talked were regulated to address necessities of living, parenting, and time management.
Judi also returned to college to get a BSN four year nursing degree. It was then I realized she was driven to be an all A student or felt like a failure. Being a new wife, a mother to her sister, continuing to work ¾ time and a student provided stress. I was feeling like my quality time with her was almost non existent. Instead of dates or walks we were delegated to the necessities of living, talking care of Marti, driving her to school activities, shopping, laundry and church. I felt I was being ignored. I didn't want to admit it, but I was jealous of her time. It was also awkward to define my role with a sister-in-law not really being a parent but having guardianship responsibilities.
JUDI- part of every relationship is learning how to fight fair. When emotions are hurt it is easy to be offensive or defensive. We want to either attack the other because we feel hurt, or we want to crawl into a shell and not communicate. It is an important lesson to learn that disagreements are part of a relationship, and they should be looked on tool to deepen the relationship. Each brings their personalities into making a stronger solution.
DALE- since the Bible says not to let the sun go down on your anger (Eph 4:26) I wanted to resolve arguments right away. She remained silent and didn’t want to talk about it. When I would force the issue to get it resolved it seemed to get worse. The unresolved tension became a threat to me.
One night she wisely said to me, “I promise we will discuss this in the next day or two. You are very verbal and can express yourself easily. I need to think about it and what I am feeling and how I want to say it. We are different. I can’t come up with all the solutions until I can think them through.”
That made sense to me. The fact the problem wasn’t being ignored, just delayed helped me feel better and come to realize she didn’t have to be like me, nor was I being ignored. The conversations later proved to be more productive and helpful than on the spot solutions which I thought we needed.
JUDI- After I got my degree Dale moved from being a chaplain with regular work hours to moving to a new community and taking on the responsibility of a pastorate. Now his schedule involved day and night responsibilities. When we were at home he seemed to be thinking about the next sermon, Sunday School lesson, or church problem to be addressed. I didn’t have school and work as before. Now I resented the time he spent at the church in many meetings. Most of the activities we did revolved around the church not leaving much personal time. I was feeling lonely missing my friends from Minnesota.
DALE- I believed I was in the will and direction of the Lord, but I had a lot to learn about being a pastor. Not only were there expectations from many people for my attention, but also for us as a “family”. Learning new roles in a new environment also took adjustment and needed communication that we didn’t always have. Even our rare vacation times were with Marti.
Fortunately Judi enjoyed calling with me at the hospitals and with shut-ins and driving in the country provided talk time. I enjoyed the fact that she was sharing in the ministry and the people also like it.
We did have devotions together and prayed about our marriage. We never questioned love or commitment to each other. But change was needed and it wasn’t going to happen without a plan to change and a process to evaluate progress.
Pastor Dale
Sermon Nuggets Fri Dec 18
A Better Spouse
DALE- Part of growing in a relationship is to take time for one another. I decided at least monthly to date my wife.
My desire to be a better husband comes wanting to please the Lord as well as Judi. "Husbands love your wives and do not be harsh with them." If I take my faith seriously, then I must take my relationship with Judi seriously.
I have emotional feeling for her that I call love. But the Bible does not speak about love in that way. Love is a commitment. I must be committed to her in faithfulness. There are needs in my life that I choose that only she can fulfill. She has my promise on that.
But I also realize that I cannot meet all of Judi's needs nor can she meet all of mine. It would be idolatry to think she can or should.
JUDI- Some struggle with the thought “Wives, submit to your husbands, as is fitting to the Lord.” Part of submission to Dale is a public awareness that he is my husband and I am his- no other. That is fitting to the Lord. I choose not to flirt; I do not dress to please other men. I do not make decisions regarding my schedule that would involve home or family or church time without consulting him.
For me submission is harder to discuss, than practice. Perhaps it's a matter of pride. I resented it when he tried to control or manipulate me, but when he included me in choices I learned to trust him more.
DALE- If I was to take Judi's concerns seriously, as a Christian husband, I needed to make some changes in our relationship. Some interpret this passage to mean treat your husband as if he is the Lord. That would also be idolatry. When God’s word say submit to those in authority over you, it was the Apostles who fulfilled God’s will by obeying God rather than man when two commands conflicted.
I was convicted of sin against Judi by being harsh with her in some areas. I was strangling her freedom to use some of our money in ways that she thought would be best for the both of us. I wanted it my way which is not love. Love is not selfish. So one thing that helped was to agree Judi had some money she could call her own that I would have no say over. She could blow it however she wanted even if it was on things that I felt were unnecessary. Call it an allowance; call it a gift; it doesn't make a difference. It was hers to do as she wanted and emotionally I gave up the right to comment on her purchases as an act of love for her.
JUDI- It also became important for me to not create win and lose situations. Rather than put down Dale or hold anger against him I sought harder to clarify the issues of disagreement and work on solutions that were mutually acceptable. I learned there were times to compromise and times to raise up discussion and not to remain silent. We learned to evaluate what was really important to address and what wasn’t. It was a submission of power that eliminated lots of conflicts. We tried to keep the focus on the issue rather than whose idea or opinion ought to win over the other. As we thought more about the issue of our discussion and not our pride it was an important step to work on solutions and decisions.
DALE- I did not want Judi to be like a child where I was a parent over her doing what I told her and expecting her to comply with my wishes. She is not a child.
Nor did I want to be her sergeant and she a private in the army. You need that type of leadership if you are at war. But the Biblical model of leadership taught by Jesus is servant leadership. Jesus gave himself for his disciples. He loved them and first acted in ways he wanted them to follow. He told them "Don't be like the Gentiles that Lord it over one another" Rather the one who should be first must be last. (Matt 20:25-26)
Judi is a woman created by God to be a helper, friend, and partner. When I saw her as God's gift to me, I become a steward of one of God's children with responsibility to encourage her to grow as an individual hand made by God to serve Him. To respect her uniqueness and be aware that God gave her to me to teach me important lessons for my spiritual growth. He knew how we were to compliment each other. What I appreciate and love more was her respect and trust for me. I know that isn't always easy. Trusting and agreeing with my decisions was her way to make me feel worthwhile to her. I felt good about that which also had the opposite effect of not wanted to control but ask for her opinions.
By making me feel worthwhile built me up in ways that she probably doesn't imagine. If she does not agree with a decision we talk about it. I choose out of love for her not to want to decide something that is for my benefit, but our benefit.
It was okay to readily admit there are many areas that she is much more capable of handling than I. Another major change for me was the adjustment that I do not have to be right, or smart, or have my way of doing things. I do not have the have the last word on everything. She probably still doesn't think so, but I can admit and listen to her when she has an idea that is better than mine. It's not a male ego thing for me to have to get my way.
JUDI- Out of my love and commitment to God and Dale I try to be his loyal supporter, unconditional listening post, giving feedback when he asks. Growing and maintaining our marriage and home is my number one priority above pursuing further degrees or other job placements which would take me away from home or church.
DALE- What has God taught me in the years of marriage since 1974? That I could not have picked a better person suited for me than the one God picks. I was pleasantly surprised discovering after we were married how much we agreed on the important things of life, things we did not think of talking about before marriage. She is my best friend and counselor. I readily admit that I am dependent upon her. I would not want to hurt her in any way.
Also it is hard for me to imagine marriages that do not have open communication. I can't imagine being married and not talking about hopes, dreams, disappointments, frustrations, and even disagreements. Judi has saved me 1,000 of dollars in therapist fees! She has kept confidences, although if pastoral matters do not concern her about other people I do not share those with her.
I think the reason we can discuss our thoughts and concerns and weaknesses is because we work at not putting the other person down. I see the hurt in her eyes when she feels that way. There is no one who can hurt me more emotionally than Judi. She chooses not to. There is no one I can hurt more emotionally that Judi. I chose not to. What good does that do? We seek to hold our tongues when we are angry to refocus on the issue and not our irritation, but can admit when we have angry feelings.
We are different personalities. She puts up with more than I put up with and I know that. She prays for me and that means more to me than she ever knows. I can trust her completely.
I could go into different ways people feel loved- gifts, touch, talking, time spent with the other, doing little (or big) things for them. Telling your spouse frequently “I love you.” in different ways doesn’t hurt either.
JUDI- I found that I cannot change Dale I can only work on changing me. It is very important for me to share my thoughts, preferences and ideas with my husband. Husbands are not mind readers. Nor are they perfect; nor are they God.
God has a will for both of us together to serve Him and bring glory to His name through our lives and marriage. When God called Dale into the ministry I accepted that as my calling as well. Although I feel I come short, but my prayer is that the Lord is honored in my relationship to him as a wife.
DALE- God has given me instructions as a Husband. Verse 18 is someone else mail, not mine. Verse 19 is mail for husbands. I have nothing to say about how Judi is supposed to submit to me as fitting to the Lord. That is between her and God. Do you get what I am saying? I have an awful lot of responsibility to love her and not be harsh with her. That is God's letter to me.
1 Corinthians 13 give me more to think about love and how to act toward her than I wish was in the chapter. I realize only Christ is the perfect lover. I am glad He modeled that for me as an example to others and especially Judi. I am glad He has given to me the Holy Spirit to work on me and our relationship together.
(We closed the service praying for one another and for the couples in the church)
Pastor Dale
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