Grandchildren of Abraham Genesis 25

Sermon Nuggets Mon Aug 20, Grandchildren

Gen 25: 1-5 Abraham took another wife, whose name was Keturah. ² She bore him Zimran, Jokshan, Medan, Midian, Ishbak and Shuah.³ Jokshan was the father of Sheba and Dedan; the descendants of Dedan were the Asshurites, the Letushites and the Leummites.⁴ The sons of Midian were Ephah, Epher, Hanoch, Abida and Eldaah. All these were descendants of Keturah.

   ⁵ Abraham left everything he owned to Isaac. ⁶ But while he was still living, he gave gifts to the sons of his concubines and sent them away from his son Isaac to the land of the east.

Grandkids, the next Generation                                            

            One day a little girl was sitting and watching her mother do the dishes. She noticed several strands of white hair sticking out from her dark hair. She asked, “Why are some of your hairs white, Mom?” She replied, “Well every time you do something wrong and make me cry or unhappy, one of my hairs turns white.” The little girl thought about this for a while and said, “Momma, how come all of grandma’s hairs are white?”    

As most of you know Judi and I are grandparents and have the delight to regularly have Madelyn overnight. She is under a year so it is a treat to have her want to climb on our laps and give hugs. There is a special bond between many grandparents and grandkids.  Many grandparents will say “If I knew that having grandkids was so much fun I would have had them first.’ Someone told me why grandparents and grandkids tend to get along so well. They have a common enemy.

            Even though we are looking at the life of the patriarchs now in our series on Genesis, we come now to the death of Abraham and the stories of his son Isaac and grandson,  Jacob.

            Remember the main promise God gave to Abraham  Gen 18:17-19? All children are blessings from God to parents, but more so a blessing to Abraham because the promise of descendents was given to Abraham and Sarah. We saw the anguish of Sarah when she was childless. We saw how desperate Abraham and Sarah were to fulfill the promise of having kids by using Hagar the slave woman to give birth to a son. But when the Isaac, promised son finally came to them, they rejoiced with laughter in their old age. 

            Notice at the end of Abraham’s life there are two sons representing two nationalities as we see the Old Testament unfold- the Arabs and the Jews. However you might be surprised to find Abraham had others sons. As we look at the passage we see that God gave more children to Abraham than just the two. Those who are mentioned here would have had to have been born to a man at least 140 years old if Abraham married Keturah after Sarah died and Isaac was married to Rebekah. These children listed in verse 3 would have been more of a miracle than Isaac.

            Some people wonder why she is referred to as a wife in verse 1 and apparently a concubine in verse 6.  I Chron 1:32 also identifies his concubine as Katurah. A concubine held a position somewhat above that of a slave, yet she was not free, nor did she have the status or rights of a wife.

            Now different people will speculate. One says Abraham had a concubine on the side during all this time and now she and the children are mentioned at they end of his life. Hardly seems to fit the context when Ishmael was born and God sternly rebuked their lack of faith and renounced their sin and disobedience. Ishmael, the first born of Abraham was his delight. And afterwards this couple waited for the promised one. 

            Another side of the argument asks the obvious. Why would the Bible make such a point of  Isaac being born long after reproduction was dead in the body. Paul referred to Abraham as being “as good as dead” (Romans 4:19) so far as bearing children was concerned. Wouldn’t it be more so if Abraham was not only 100 but 140 years old when he started having another family with another wife?

            Some speculate that God preformed more miracles by letting Abraham have children up to his death of 175 years old with his a slave woman that he treated as his wife, though she was a concubine, or mistress. That’s possible, but it seems odd that Abraham is applauded more for his faith in later years than early ones and completely ignore God’s desire for purity.

I agree with those who suggest was probably the slave that took Hagar’s place, but as a foreigner she was not from the heritage of Ur like Rebekah and Sarah were. Therefore Katurah and her sons were not looked upon as proper heirs- so even though she was legally Abraham wife, in a sense they were illegitimate, not in the sexual sense, but in the divine line for they were of a different race. 

            However you want to interpret these verses the fact remains that the prophecy of God came true that as you look at those lists other nations came about in his descendents.

Ishmael the father of Arab nations; Esau the Edomites, Jacob the father of the Jews, or Israelites, And these grandkids were identified as beginning Midianites, and Letushites, and Asshurites. Indeed, Abraham was the father of many nations. Thus the promise to Abraham in Genesis 17:4 was fulfilled: “As for Me, behold, My covenant is with you, And you shall be the father of a multitude of nations.”

After a rich and full life Abraham died at the age of 175. This, too, was in fulfillment of the word of God to Abraham: “And as for you, you shall go to your fathers in peace; you shall be buried at a good old age” (Genesis 15:15).

Pastor Dale

Sermon Nuggets Tues Aug 21 Physical Blessing

Gen 25: ⁷ Altogether, Abraham lived a hundred and seventy-five years. ⁸ Then Abraham breathed his last and died at a good old age, an old man and full of years; and he was gathered to his people. ⁹ His sons Isaac and Ishmael buried him in the cave of Machpelahnear Mamre, in the field of Ephron son of Zohar the Hittite, ¹⁰ the field Abraham had bought from the Hittites. There Abraham was buried with his wife Sarah. ¹¹ After Abraham’s death, God blessed his son Isaac, who then lived near Beer Lahai Roi.

          ¹² This is the account of Abraham’s son Ishmael, whom Sarah’s maidservant, Hagar the Egyptian, bore to Abraham. ¹³ These are the names of the sons of Ishmael, listed in the order of their birth: Nebaioth the firstborn of Ishmael, Kedar, Adbeel, Mibsam, ¹⁴ Mishma, Dumah, Massa, ¹⁵ Hadad, Tema, Jetur, Naphish and Kedemah. ¹⁶ These were the sons of Ishmael, and these are the names of the twelve tribal rulers according to their settlements and camps.

            17 Altogether, Ishmael lived a hundred and thirty-seven years. He breathed his last and died, and he was gathered to his people. 18 His descendants settled in the area from Havilah to Shur, near the border of Egypt, as you go toward Asshur. And they lived in hostility toward all their brothers.

There is a Physical Blessing

I am seen many pictures where grandma and grandpa are sittingin the middle of a group of people comprised of their adult children, their spouses, and dozens of kids who are their grandchildren and great grandchildren. The comment is often made that from those two came generations of people. With a glow people not only point out how they are related but the blessing of family.

Families tend to gather for weddings, funerals, and family reunions. Ishmael did return to bury his father in cooperation with Isaac. They buried him in the cave of Machpelah in the field that Abraham had purchased for Sarah, himself, and their descendants.

           

Now the point of this passage is the result of physical blessings promised by God. Having kids and grandkids is a gift from God. The Bible tells us no one is an accident. No one is a mistake. Each birth is a creation of God, but to Abraham this blessing is especially meaningful because he is not only way to old for having children, but when most are dying Abraham is demonstrating the promise of God in personally beginning the descendents of the nations.

Ishmael was the father of twelve princes who settled vast territories and founded cities. He lived in defiance of his relatives, refusing to be put down, despite his impoverish beginnings. Abraham had always had a special place in his heart for his first son Ishmael. Only with reluctance and under great pressure did Abraham send this son away. Abraham would have been content for God’s purposes and promises to have been fulfilled in Ishmael. He petitioned God to look with favor upon this boy. God refused to substitute this child of self-effort for the child of promise, but He did promise to make him a great nation. And this passage shows the physical blessing.

In this verse one more promise is shown to be fulfilled, the promise God made to Hagar years before: “And he will be a wild donkey of a man, His hand will be against everyone, And everyone’s hand will be against him; And he will live to the east of all his brothers.” So this foreknowledge of God was demonstrated as it came about. They fought and rebelled and did not get along.

           

Now the Bible talks about physical blessings we receive from the hand of God. Children are a physical blessing, grandchildren are a physical blessing. The food we eat the air we breathe, the work of our hands, the houses and clothes, and wives and husbands, the lands we own and the inheritances we accumulate are all referred to in Scriptures as good things. But for some people then and now the physical blessings is all the want. They do not want God. As long as they are having pleasures, and families, and money and jobs they have not need for God being first place in their lives. Most of the world experiences the physical blessings of God to various degrees, but there is something more than God wants to tell the world and chooses to do so through the testimony of his personal relationship with the Israelite people. They are to be his people and He is to be their God with no other gods before Him.

Pastor Dale

Sermon Nuggets Weds August 22 Spiritual Blessing

Verses: Gen 25: ¹⁹ This is the account of Abraham’s son Isaac.

Abraham became the father of Isaac, ²⁰ and Isaac was forty years old when he married Rebekah daughter of Bethuel the Aramean from Paddan Aram and sister of Laban the Aramean.

  2 Isaac prayed to the Lord on behalf of his wife, because she was barren. The Lord  answered his prayer, and his wife Rebekah became pregnant. ²² The babies jostled each other within her, and she said, “Why is this happening to me?” So she went to inquire of the Lord.

²³ The Lord said to her,“Two nations are in your womb,
    and two peoples from within you will be separated;
one people will be stronger than the other,
    and the older will serve the younger. ”

²⁴ When the time came for her to give birth, there were twin boys in her womb. ²⁵ The first to come out was red, and his whole body was like a hairy garment; so they named him Esau. ²⁶ After this, his brother came out, with his hand grasping Esau’s heel;so he was named Jacob. Isaac was sixty years old when Rebekah gave birth to them.

 There is a Spiritual Blessing

The Spiritual blessing came to Isaac. God said he would have the line of Jesus Christ coming through the lineage of Isaac, but also they would on again and off again worship and obey God.

            God chose Isaac. He married the woman God intended for him. He knew that God’s promise and blessing was to him. So when Rebekah was unable to conceive, Isaac prayed that God would open Rebekah's womb.

            I suspect there were lots of questions from well meaning family members. "Don't you think it's about time to start raising a family?" They probably got more advice than they desired. But God had promised that he would bless the descendants of Abraham and Isaac was the legal heir and his wife was from the race God wanted to use as his illustration of blessing and faith. So faith was demonstrated when Isaac interceded with God on Rebekah’s behalf, and she became pregnant in answer to his prayers.

            During her pregnancy Rebekah was perplexed by the intense struggle that took place within her womb, so she inquired of God to determine the reason. And the Lord informed her she was to give birth to twins. Each of the children would be the father of a nation of people. Of these two nations, one would prevail over the other. Normally, the first-born son would have been the heir through whom the covenant blessings would have passed. While the father could designate a younger son to be the owner of the birthright, this was the exception, not the rule.

Here again we find similarities between this couple's story and that of Isaac's parents. The grandkids of Abraham was more than a physical blessing this was a spiritual blessing. Jacob and Esau would be 15 years old before grandpa would have died. He would have seen them and held them in his arms. He would have offered sacrifices of thanks to God who keeps his promises. These twins were a delight to Grandpa because of what God was doing through Sarah’s son.

Esau was born first, and he came from the womb red and hairy. The Hebrew word to describe the color of Esau sounded similar to Edom and may have prepared the way for his nickname as it was decided in verse 30. The name Esau somewhat resembles the sound of the word meaning ‘hairy.’

           

Jacob came forth from the womb grasping the heel of his brother Esau. Jacob’s name was suggested by the Hebrew word for ‘heel.’ Later events, such as the barter of the birthright in verses 27-34, indicate that the name, taken in its negative sense, referred to Jacob’s grasping and conniving nature.

When you are looking for spiritual blessing faith is involved in believing God and waiting for Him to accomplish what he wants in you life. A personal relationship with God is what he desires and that is only possible by putting your faith in Jesus Christ, the promised one all these stories point to. He is the one who died for your sins. He is the one who went without physical blessings so that you and I might have spiritual blessings, eternal blessings. God provides for us a gift, not based on our goodness, but on his.

           

Spiritual blessings continue to come after salvation as we exercise our faith by trusting God for the direction of our lives. When we turn to God for help we must trust His timing as well as His ability. Twenty years is a long time to wait to have kids after marriage, but that was what Isaac did and God proved faithful to his promise. He does not promise all couples they will have kids, but that was Isaac’s promise.

Pastor Dale

Sermon Nuggets Thurs Aug 23 Prophetic Blessing

Verses Gen 25: 23-28  The Lord said to her, “Two nations are in your womb,
    and two peoples from within you will be separated; one people will be stronger than the other,  and the older will serve the younger. ”

²⁴ When the time came for her to give birth, there were twin boys in her womb. ²⁵ The first to come out was red, and his whole body was like a hairy garment; so they named him Esau. ²⁶ After this, his brother came out, with his hand grasping Esau’s heel;so he was named Jacob. Isaac was sixty years old when Rebekah gave birth to them.

²⁷ The boys grew up, and Esau became a skillful hunter, a man of the open country, while Jacob was a quiet man, staying among the tents. ²⁸ Isaac, who had a taste for wild game, loved Esau, but Rebekah loved Jacob.

There is a Prophetic  Blessing

The prophecy in vs. 23 begins to be carried out in the rest of the chapter. It speaks of divine election. Before the birth of the children God determined that it would be the younger child who would possess the birthright and thus be the heir of Isaac so far as the covenant promises were concerned. The older, Esau, would serve the younger, Jacob. Now this had nothing to do with works. This was spoken when the twins were not yet born, and had not done anything good or bad. God wanted to use their lives and births to teach us all lessons about God. It is a prophetic blessing.

Indeed Jacob connived to take the birthright away from his older brother, but God wanted to show in lots of ways in the Bible that the first plan doesn’t work. God has a second plan up his sleeve which is better. We see that in the stories of Cain and Able, Ishmael and Isaac, law and grace, Esau and Jacob. Adam and Jesus Christ.

While we must acknowledge that God in His omniscience knew all of the deeds of both these sons from eternity past, Paul says in Romans 9 that this was God’s will.

            In addition to the election and even the circumstance surrounding the birth of the twins, three factors played heavily in the relationship of the two boys which involved some of the choices that they made as well as their differences. Esau seems to have been a masculine, outdoor-type man who loved to do the things a father could take pride in. He was a skillful hunter, and he knew how to handle himself in the outdoors. In our culture I believe Esau would have been a football hero in high school and college. He was a real macho man, the kind of son a father would swell with pride to talk about among his friends. Whereas Jacob was entirely different.

While Esau seems to have been aggressive, daring, and flamboyant, Jacob appears to be just the opposite: quiet, pensive, more interested in staying at home than in venturing out and making great physical conquests. Not that he had no ambition to get ahead, quite the contrary; but Jacob couldn’t see the sense in tracking about the wilderness just to bag some game. In the solitude of his tent Jacob could mentally reason out how to get ahead without getting his hands dirty and without taking dangerous risks.

The second factor which tended to separate the two sons was the divided loyalty between their parents. Isaac seems to have been the outdoor-type himself; at least he had an appetite for the wild game that Esau brought home. Esau was the kind of son that Isaac could proudly take with him wherever he went. Rebekah, on the other hand, favored Jacob. She probably thought Esau was crude and uncultured. Jacob was a much more refined person, gentle and kind, the type of son a mother would be proud of. Besides, Jacob probably spent more time at home than Esau did. Each parent seems to have identified too much with a particular son, thus creating divisions which would be devastating. This favoritism also brought about disharmony between Isaac and his wife in their later years. Favoritism as parents is not good.

The third factor was the underhanded means by which Jacob wrested the birthright from his brother. While Esau had been out in the field, Jacob had been at home preparing a stew. Weary and famished, though hardly at death’s door, Esau was enticed by the fragrant aroma of the meal. Esau greedily pled for some of “that red stuff.” Rather than showing kindness to his brother, Jacob saw this as an opportunity to gain the advantage. Here Jacob’s greedy, grasping disposition rose to the forefront. Without a hint of shame Jacob bartered, “… First sell me your birthright”. With this Esau’s carnal nature emerged, “… Behold, I am about to die; so of what use then is the birthright to me?” Now I don’t think Esau was starving to death on his death bed. He was impulsive wanting what he wanted now and not wait to cook up something himself because he was hungry and willing to exchange his destiny for a dinner.

Jacob made him swear a solemn oath declaring the sale of the birthright. This done, the meal was served, and Esau went on his way. Thus Esau despised his birthright” So it is that the writer to the Hebrews can speak of Esau as a man who has no appreciation whatsoever for spiritual and eternal things.

Pastor Dale

Sermon Nuggets Fri Aug 24 Birthright Blessing

Verses: Gen 25: ²⁹ Once when Jacob was cooking some stew, Esau came in from the open country, famished. ³⁰ He said to Jacob, “Quick, let me have some of that red stew! I’m famished!” (That is why he was also called Edom.)

³¹ Jacob replied, “First sell me your birthright. ”

³² “Look, I am about to die,” Esau said. “What good is the birthright to me?”

³³ But Jacob said, “Swear to me first.” So he swore an oath to him, selling his birthright to Jacob.

³⁴ Then Jacob gave Esau some bread and some lentil stew. He ate and drank, and then got up and left.

So Esau despised his birthright.

There is a Birthright Blessing

Now here is a prophetic blessing to Jacob through the Birthright. To understand the significance of this bargain you need to know what a "birthright" meant. You would receive double the inheritance of all others. You would be the leader of the family. You would be the one through whom the promises of God would pass. Esau has a choice: should he take the food and give up the birthright, or should he hold on to this most valuable possession and go and try to find food somewhere else? Esau chooses to live for the moment and swears that the birthright now belongs to Jacob. Esau gives up all these benefits for a bowl of stew! Haven't we been known to do the same things?

Some choose the pleasures of passion over the purity of marriage. Some choose the applause of our friends rather than stand true for the Lord. Some choose what is easy over what is right. Some indulge their appetite for more stuff over the wisdom of financial responsibility. Some choose to fill their minds with garbage rather than devote their minds to the Lord. Some choose to hoard what they have rather than to reach out to the needy.

Esau had to choose between living for the moment and living for eternity. That same choice faces each of us. Every day we must choose between temporary pleasures and holiness before the Lord. Esau reminds us to keep our focus.

 The word shows us the foreknowledge, election and choice all in this one statement. Esau sold his birthright because Esau “despised his birthright”. Like Isaac, the world in which we live prefers the Esaus and dislikes the Jacobs. We are going to find later what a stinker Jacob is also. He is a sinner, selfish, conniver. But he wanted what God was offering, which was grace. Esau didn’t. I think this is also a type of embracing the birthright we have explained in the New Testament. John 1: 11-13  “He came to that which was his own, but his own did not receive him. 12 Yet to all who received him, to those who believed in his name, he gave the right to become children of God — 13 children born not of natural descent, nor of human decision or a husband’s will, but born of God.”

As we witnessed awesome accomplishment by athletes of the world competing in the Olympics some were asked, “If you were offered a banned performance-enhancing substance, with two guarantees- you will not be caught, and you will win would you take it?” 195 said yes, 3 said no. Then asked,  “if you are offered a drug knowing you will not be caught and you will win every competition you enter for the next 5 years then you will die form the side effects would you take it?” More than half said yes. The desire for the immediate pleasure, fame and goal to which they all had been working is like selling your birthright for a pot of portage.

Yet sports, movies, sex, drinking, drugs, pleasures are so attractive to our society and the things of God have no draw. In spite of your sins will you give it up and go with God? Most say no. God uses this to teach us lessons. What does it profit you if you gain the whole world, gain all the gold medals, make your business flourish, become the riches person in your school, have the most popular boy or girl friend, or car whatever and lose you birthright to heaven?

I believe that just as Abraham attempted to convince God to choose Ishmael for the heir of promise, Isaac hoped that God would change His mind concerning Esau. He struggled at this point with God’s will, but don’t we all in some areas of our lives too?

Now you may not agree with me on this, but hear me out. God’s blessing to the one son still left the other to make choices for or against God. We cannot condone Jacob’s sins just because God chose to favor him. He still was wrong in some of the things he did. But he did want the gift of God and Esau didn’t. And it was a gift not based on works but based on God’s will.

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We dare not discriminate against any nation, Jewish or Gentile. We should bless the Jews and the nation Israel, but this does not necessitate our condoning that which is clearly sin. Let us remember that at this time in Israel’s history as a nation they are rejecting God and Christ, Jesus the Messiah. As a whole the Arab nations have rejected the God of the Bible for a moon god redefined by Mohammed. Many Jews and many Arab folks embrace Jesus Christ as their Lord and savior. The witness to the people of all nations is in our hands.

While we may commend the bravery of the Jews and their intestinal fortitude, let us not call evil good, or inadvertently discriminate against the Arab peoples. Some will blindly endorse every action of the nation of Israel which must be always first be questioned on biblical grounds. Without getting political there is no other country in the Middle East that honors freedom and democracy. We value that highly and there are also other reasons to make alliances.

Finally as Christians do not use shrewdness, but that is only a euphemism for unethical practices. Jacob had good ends, but did not use good means. As a believer in Christ be a person of integrity and not follow Jacobs example here. Ends do not justify the means. Jacob was one who valued the birthright. Some believers are so committed to causes they can kill abortion doctors for instance, or lie to cult members, or launder money to Christian ministries because the goal is so important. The goal is never more important than godliness  (Romans 8:29; Ephesians 4:15). Jacob was to learn that blessing resulted from prevailing with God, not prevailing over men.

We have a wonderful birthright granted to us by the grace of God in Jesus Christ. It is not by works we are saved. Even when we fall short, God keeps his promises. We do not lose our salvation. But seek to live up to the calling. Honor him with our hearts as well as with our minds, hands, and feet. As children of God we have a birthright. We have a blessing that never ends.

Pastor Dale     

Finding a Spouse Genesis 24

Sermon Nuggets Mon Aug 13 Finding a Spouse

Verse Gen 24:1-4 Abraham was now old and well advanced in years, and the Lord had blessed him in every way. ² He said to the chief servantin his household, the one in charge of all that he had, “Put your hand under my thigh. ³ I want you to swear by the Lord, the God of heaven and the God of earth, that you will not get a wife for my son from the daughters of the Canaanites, among whom I am living, ⁴ but will go to my country and my own relatives and get a wife for my son Isaac. ”   

Finding a Spouse                               

            How do you find a spouse? I came across some interesting advice given by children. Kally age 9 tells us “You flip a nickel and heads means you stay with him and tails means you try the next one.” I can imagine 10 year old Allan has overheard some conversations at home since he gives this advise “You got to find somebody who likes the same stuff. Like you like sports, she should like it that you like sports, and she should keep the chips and dip coming.” When asked about finding a spouse Anita age 9 writes’ Its better for girls to be single but not for boys. Boys need somebody to clean up after them”            Perhaps Kirsten age 10 is on the right track when she write, “No person really decides before they grow up who they’re going to marry. God decides it all the way before, and you got to find out later who you’re stuck with.”

            I’ve already shared some amazement in India where most of the marriages are arranged. I asked John Bushey what happens if a guy likes a girl and vice versa and they want to get married. He told me the story of one of his classmates at the university who was Hindu. He took a liking to one young lady. The family informed him that they would arrange the marriage. But he continued to contact her. One day his body was all chopped up and delivered to his house with no one claiming responsibility. Dating just isn’t done.

            The rate of divorce is greater when Western customs are practiced. Dating isn’t all it’s cracked up to be either. Many in our society think trial marriages are the way to go, but once again statistics show more people break up after living with someone than those who commit to marriage before living together. As Ann Landers said, “A marriage license is not a guarantee that the marriage is going to work, any more than a fishing license assures that you’ll catch fish. It merely gives you the legal right to try.”

Genesis 24 is the longest chapter in this book. It is devoted to finding a wife for Isaac. Some Christians think that God has only one person in the world designed to be their spouse and if they are unhappy in their marriage relationship they didn’t get the right person and should divorce and try again. That certainly is not a Biblical concept. So far as our own partners are concerned, we need to place far more emphasis upon the matter of being the right partner rather than upon finding the right partner.

Although most here are not going to be looking for a spouse, I believe there are transferable principles in terms of seeking God’s will in other matters.

Pastor Dale

Sermon Nuggets Tues Aug 14 Priority

Gen 24: ⁵ The servant asked him, “What if the woman is unwilling to come back with me to this land? Shall I then take your son back to the country you came from? ”

⁶ “Make sure that you do not take my son back there,” Abraham said. ⁷ “The Lord, the God of heaven, who brought me out of my father’s household and my native land and who spoke to me and promised me on oath, saying, ‘To your offspring I will give this land’ —he will send his angel before you so that you can get a wife for my son from there. ⁸ If the woman is unwilling to come back with you, then you will be released from this oath of mine. Only do not take my son back there.” ⁹ So the servant put his hand under the thigh of his master Abraham and swore an oath to him concerning this matter.

The Right Priorities 

When you seek to make important decisions and especially one as important as whom you are going to marry many people miss out on the most significant of priorities. What is God’s will? When Abraham realized at the age of almost 40 Isaac was to be the one who was going to produce offspring in keeping with the promise of God he wanted to be sure that God’s will was followed. First, it was important not to marry a Canaanite  woman.

I have had people asking me if the Bible teaches you should never marry someone of a different race. (I think it is perfectly fine for Swedes and Norwegians to marry.) One can easily turn to the Old Testament and show verses how the Israelites were instructed not to marry foreign spouses. But as you discover the context it was because this most significant relationship influences spiritual priorities.

There were foreign spouses who were people who believed and followed God and there was a blessing to their marriages. Rehab was both a foreigner and a sinner, as a prostitute, but was converted and honored in the lineage of Jesus. Ruth was a Moabite but in this great love story of the Old Testament she converted and followed the Lord God Jehovah and is honored in the list of women. Scripture shows clearly the priority of marriage is marrying someone who shares the same faith. Following Gods’ will allows for interracial marriages.

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The priority for Abraham was God’s word. It was to be kept obediently to have his blessing. Abraham based his request on God's promise to Him. He knew that God intended to give this land to his children. So it was God’s will for Isaac to have a wife and children. He knew that it was God's intention to judge the Canaanites. So to bring up a people unto himself he was going to start the search by looking for a spouse among his own ancestry. Certainly there were many beautiful women in that area. But Abraham knew that God had called the Jews as His special people. Isaac could not marry a Canaanite woman because it would lead to a compromise of faith. 

In addition, when we think of the right priorities Abraham instructed his servant to seek out a wife for his son with the assurance that God would give divine guidance. “His angel” would be sent on ahead to prepare the way for the servant. In the search for the right one Abraham was ready for God to open some doors and close others so to speak. Leaving the Spirit to direct us involves the circumstances also. If the women of my ancestry will not return with you, then we will have to look someplace else perhaps in a different locate, or family, or even country.

I do not know why Christians think they will find a godly mate in a singles bar or some other such place. I do not fault any Christian for attending a Christian college or attending a church group with the hope of finding a marriage partner there. If we wish a godly mate, let us look where Christians should be. If God does not provide one in this way, He can certainly do so in His own sovereign way. But it makes sense if you’re fishing to go where the right fish are.  Likewise, young people, when dating, date Christians who share the same convictions. There is a natural attraction to girls with boys and boys with girls. Being just close friends for very long begins to work on the hormones. Many people end up in a relationship that could have been prevented. Dating frequently leads to emotional involvement and physical attraction. Romantic love is a wonderful emotional feeling, but it will never sustain a marriage. Do not put yourself in a situation where romantic love can grow until you are certain that you want it to grow.

The Bible is where we get our good start when it comes to finding God's will for our lives. In the Bible we find commands and principles. If you were driving on a road and a sign said "Speed Limit 55" that would be a command. If it said "Use Caution" that would be a principle. The Bible has both kinds of directions in the Bible. God gives us certain commands. 1 Thessalonians 4:3 "It is God's will that you should be sanctified and that you should avoid sexual immorality, that each of you should learn to control his own body." 1 Thessalonians 5:18 "give thanks in all circumstances, for this is God's will for you in Christ Jesus."

The commands and principles of Scripture will point us toward God's will. We find someone we are interested in but they are not believers and we fret over whether this could be the right person for us. But the Bible tells us that we should only get involved with believers. (1 Corinthians 7:39-40)

Pastor Dale

Sermon Nuggets Weds Aug 15 Prayer

Gen 24: ¹⁰ Then the servant took ten of his master’s camels and left, taking with him all kinds of good things from his master. He set out for Aram Naharaim and made his way to the town of Nahor. ¹¹ He had the camels kneel down near the well outside the town; it was toward evening, the time the women go out to draw water.

¹² Then he prayed, “O Lord, God of my master Abraham, give me success today, and show kindness to my master Abraham.¹³ See, I am standing beside this spring, and the daughters of the townspeople are coming out to draw water. ¹⁴ May it be that when I say to a girl, ‘Please let down your jar that I may have a drink,’ and she says, ‘Drink, and I’ll water your camels too’ —let her be the one you have chosen for your servant Isaac. By this I will know that you have shown kindness to my master.”

¹⁵ Before he had finished praying, Rebekah came out with her jar on her shoulder. She was the daughter of Bethuel son of Milcah,who was the wife of Abraham’s brother Nahor. ¹⁶ The girl was very beautiful, a virgin; no man had ever lain with her. She went down to the spring, filled her jar and came up again.

¹⁷ The servant hurried to meet her and said, “Please give me a little water from your jar.”

¹⁸ “Drink, my lord,” she said, and quickly lowered the jar to her hands and gave him a drink.

¹⁹ After she had given him a drink, she said, “I’ll draw water for your camels too, until they have finished drinking.” ²⁰ So she quickly emptied her jar into the trough, ran back to the well to draw more water, and drew enough for all his camels. ²¹ Without saying a word, the man watched her closely to learn whether or not the Lord had made his journey successful.

²² When the camels had finished drinking, the man took out a gold nose ring weighing a beka and two gold bracelets weighing ten shekels. ²³ Then he asked, “Whose daughter are you? Please tell me, is there room in your father’s house for us to spend the night? ”

 The Right Prayer

If we want God's guidance we have to ask for it.  James tells us if "anyone lacks wisdom he should ask of God who gives to all men liberally". But we must be asking sincerely.

If the priority is seeking God’s will we are lead by his commands and principles and then appropriately directed by prayer. God’s Word give us the path to go. The leading the Holy Spirit by prayer within those clear paths makes it personal to us. For instance, God does not want everyone into full time Christian service. But by prayer and calling he does want some to serve him overseas. If that is the calling of a young man or woman then pray for a spouse that will share in that calling and commitment.

It was very important to me when I knew God was calling me to the ministry that God would provide a wife who would share Christian values, principles to be sure, but also willing to take on the unique role as a minister’s wife. That meant we both did a lot of praying.

If we truly want to find God's will we have to keep all options open. Before we can find God's will we have to trust that God's will is the best. We must understand that what God chooses is always the right choice. It is certainly true that we will never be open to God's direction until we can pray with Jesus, "not my will, but yours be done."

            This servant asked God for a specific sign. Is it appropriate to ask God for a sign? Throughout the Bible we see Biblical characters discerning God's way in many different fashions. Some had God speak directly to them in a dream or vision, Others cast lots (even the disciples in Acts 1) Some asked for other signs (Gideon Judges 6:37-40 and the fleece; Moses was given a miracle (Ex. 4); Hezekiah saw his shadow (2 Kings 20:9; ) But remember these Biblical characters did not have the advantage of God's Word or God's Spirit to guide them. Today we can check God's Word for guidance and we have God's Spirit living within us to guide us into all truth. Asking for a sign when God has spoken clearly is an act of sin . . . not faith.

I will share some personal thoughts of which you may not agree and that is okay. I have asked God for a sign. Sometimes I knew what he wanted but wanted to be sure. That was not a act of faith, but lack of faith since I sensed His Spirit. I would not get a sign, but acted on what I felt was right. Other times some important decisions were confirmed and I was affirmed that was the right thing to do.

 Look at how carefully the servant chose his sign. How could the servant determine quickly which of the girls that would soon be arriving would have the qualities necessary for Isaac? It would be necessary for him to make the first approach toward conversation, and the obvious thing would be for him to ask her for a drink of water from her pitcher. However, almost any girl, out of common courtesy, would agree to such a request as that.. If, however, she would then, offer to help in some further way, going a second mile as it were, this would definitely be a good sign. Perhaps the most severe test would be whether she was willing not only to give him some water, and perhaps even his attendants, but also his ten camels. Surely, if she would do this, without grumbling, it would go far toward proving that she was the kind of wife they were looking for.

There are other times when we "sense" God speaking to us other than signs.  We have an "impression from God." When God gives an impression He almost always also gives some verification. All impressions must be evaluated carefully by the clear and authoritative teaching of Scripture. Scripture wins over feelings. If Scripture does not speak to the issue we should check with godly friends and circumstances, all giving to God in prayer to allow Him to lead. Even without “signs” go with what you want to do after you have given it to the Lord and go with the affirmation that He can “close the door” through circumstances, and that is alright also.

What do you think?

Pastor Dale

Sermon Nuggets Thurs Aug 16 Personality

Gen 24: 15-27  ¹⁶ The girl was very beautiful, a virgin; no man had ever lain with her. She went down to the spring, filled her jar and came up again.

¹⁷ The servant hurried to meet her and said, “Please give me a little water from your jar.”

¹⁸ “Drink, my lord,” she said, and quickly lowered the jar to her hands and gave him a drink.

¹⁹ After she had given him a drink, she said, “I’ll draw water for your camels too, until they have finished drinking.” ²⁰ So she quickly emptied her jar into the trough, ran back to the well to draw more water, and drew enough for all his camels. ²¹ Without saying a word, the man watched her closely to learn whether or not the Lord had made his journey successful.

²² When the camels had finished drinking, the man took out a gold nose ring weighing a beka and two gold bracelets weighing ten shekels. ²³ Then he asked, “Whose daughter are you? Please tell me, is there room in your father’s house for us to spend the night? ”

²⁴ She answered him, “I am the daughter of Bethuel, the son that Milcah bore to Nahor. ” ²⁵ And she added, “We have plenty of straw and fodder, as well as room for you to spend the night.”

²⁶ Then the man bowed down and worshiped the Lord, ²⁷ saying, “Praise be to the Lord, the God of my master Abraham, who has not abandoned his kindness and faithfulness to my master. As for me, the Lord has led me on the journey to the house of my master’s relatives.”

²⁸ The girl ran and told her mother’s household about these things.

The Right Personality

            Well, in making a decision like marriage I want God’s will. Be in God’s word. Be in prayer. Talk to people whom I trust that can give good advice. But I also want the right personality match.

One guy was asked why he never got married. He said, He was looking for the perfect woman. “Haven’t you find her?”

“ Yes, but unfortunately, she was looking for the perfect man”, so she kept looking.

            Let me say there is no such thing as the perfect couple because of sin. There was only one perfect couple in all of history and that was Adam and Eve. They were made for each other and lived in a perfect environment in a perfect relationship with perfect love until Satan came in and goofed everything up. Since sin came into the world marriage changed forever. From that time on there are going to be disagreements, there are going to be adjustments, there will be miscommunication, and frustrations, and all the things that are common in close relationships.

           

I think of Ruth Graham’s comments when asked if she ever considered divorcing Billy Graham. She said, “Never. I never have thought of divorce. Although, I’ve come pretty close to murder a couple of times.” 

            Don’t expect more of your mate than what God intended. Don’t expect your mate to meet all your needs. God doesn’t want your spouse to take His place and the most significant needs in your life can only be met by God not another person. There are some hobbies and interest and conversations that are better with other people. That is why God gives us friends. Don’t expect your spouse to always share your same interests-but it is good to find someone with whom you will remain faithful in love and seek to work on bettering relationship and communication if you will find meaning in your marriage.

           

Some people have the mistaken idea that they will change their fiancée after they get married. It doesn’t happen. Does the one you intend to marry and live with for the rest of your life have the personality and characteristics that you enjoy when you do the mundane things of life? Do you enjoy thing things together when you shop, when you clean house, when you make a decision on a car, or furniture for the house, or where you are going to live and how you decide on priorities for use of money?

            Now character is more important than personality. Character is what you are in your values. Personality is how that character is displayed. A person may have integrity, but be very shy. Personality might include if one is an extrovert or introvert. Character is demonstrated by humbleness. It can be demonstrated in a passive person or in an aggressive person.

Notice the character and personality of Rebekah. She was industrious, not lazy. She was willing worker. She was polite, she was respectful. She was hospitable and humble. She had a good relationship with her parents, and friends among other women and girls. She was generous and sharing. And by the way, she was beautiful. Not bad to look at.

            As Vernon would say, Lord make my wife to be beautiful and dumb. Beautiful so I can find her easy to love and dumb so she can find me easy to love. 

            When all is said and done we must walk by faith. And find that you are compatible in the important values and opinions of marriage and that you will be willing to go with the strengths of the other. If one is a better money manager than the other let that person handle the finances. If one is a better organizer than the other, give those responsibilities to that mate. If one is gifted in certain areas lead with your strengths and seek to minimize the weaknesses. And in a relationship let God do the directing. Keep your eyes wide open before you enter into the relationship and half shut afterwards.          

If we would have a godly mate we must wait for God’s time. How often I have witnessed men and women marrying hastily, fearing that the time for marriage was quickly passing them by. They married those who were unbelievers or uncommitted because they concluded that anyone was better than no one. Isaac was 40 years old when he married. It is well worth waiting for the mate of God’s choice.

Pastor Dale

Sermon Nuggets Fri Aug 17 Parents

Verses Gen 24:28-33, 49-51

²⁸ The girl ran and told her mother’s household about these things. ²⁹ Now Rebekah had a brother named Laban, and he hurried out to the man at the spring. ³⁰ As soon as he had seen the nose ring, and the bracelets on his sister’s arms, and had heard Rebekah tell what the man said to her, he went out to the man and found him standing by the camels near the spring. ³¹ “Come, you who are blessed by the Lord,” he said. “Why are you standing out here? I have prepared the house and a place for the camels.”

³² So the man went to the house, and the camels were unloaded. Straw and fodder were brought for the camels, and water for him and his men to wash their feet. ³³ Then food was set before him, but he said, “I will not eat until I have told you what I have to say.”

“Then tell us,” Laban said.

⁴⁹ Now if you will show kindness and faithfulness to my master, tell me; and if not, tell me, so I may know which way to turn.”

⁵⁰ Laban and Bethuel answered, “This is from the Lord; we can say nothing to you one way or the other. ⁵¹ Here is Rebekah; take her and go, and let her become the wife of your master’s son, as the Lord has directed. ”

The Right Parents

            Do you notice how little Isaac had to do with the process of finding a wife? Isaac, if left to himself, may never have found Rebekah. The first pretty girl or the first woman to profess a faith in God might have seemed adequate. The servant was unwilling to settle for second rate. Not only were Abraham and his servant a part of the process, but Rebekah’s family also had to be convinced of God’s leading. Anyone who fails to heed the counsel of godly Christians who are older and wiser is on the path to heartache.

We all know that there are times when someone must stand alone to do the will of  God. There are other times when a couple feels alone when they come from families and backgrounds that care very little about spiritual things.

            But one of the big dynamics in any relationship is in laws. It is true, you do not marry only your spouse; you marry the families. Getting along with in-laws will make for a better marriage. Now don’t forget when the Bible says that a man needs to leave his father and mother and cleave to his wife that means your spouse gets first priority not your parents. Some parents have also gotten in the way of their sons and daughters relationship to their mates.

            Some of these problems can be worked out if on one side children realize experience of parents can help prevent them from making some big mistakes and get their permission and advice and blessing, but some parents will never think anyone is good enough for their child and interfere in ways that will never be healthy. The apron strings must be cut. They have under God developed their own home and as parents we love and support and guide the best we can, but mostly we give them up to the Lord with our blessing and with our permission.

            There was a marriage I was asked to do with a young couple and there was strong parental objection. I cautioned the couple and tried to do my job of showing them the reality of in-law relationship. There would have enough struggles as it was, and didn’t need that one. They chose to postpone their marriage until some of those problems could be worked out.

Here Laban her brother and Bethuel her father rejoiced in hearing about Abraham their relative and how God had led them. They were believers as well. They worshiped the Lord. It used to be the old school when the man would ask permission of the father for his daughters hand in marriage. Some people cringe at that today in our culture. But there is also something affirming when there is good relationship between the families and the I-laws. If there is concern it is better to find out why and let those with love and experience help in making such important decisions.

Notice vs. 55 they gave permission but also it is hard to say goodbye to their daughter and sister, so they asked that the girl can remain, but the servant was anxious to go. Rebekah was willing. V. 60 shows the blessing of the permission.

            If those whom love you are behind the marriage it has a much better chance of succeeding. That is true in India. The parents have the best in mind for their children usually. And in such circumstances there is desire to see their children happy. This was the situation before them. It also took trust since Rebekah had not seen Isaac yet only she heard about him.

            Seeking advice of other mature Christians is an important part of seeking God’s will. Getting advice will often times let you see options you might not have thought of before. To see the will of God listen to the others question and concerns and let them ask and reflect with you. Those who are the close to you and love you the most will give your straight advice. And when the time comes to marry as much as it is possible, do what you can to make relationship with the in laws the best they can be.

Pastor Dale

Sermon Nuggets Sat Aug 18 Pledge

Verses Gen 24: ⁵⁷ Then they said, “Let’s call the girl and ask her about it.” ⁵⁸ So they called Rebekah and asked her, “Will you go with this man?”

“I will go,” she said.

⁵⁹ So they sent their sister Rebekah on her way, along with her nurse and Abraham’s servant and his men. ⁶⁰ And they blessedRebekah and said to her,

“Our sister, may you increase
    to thousands upon thousands;
may your offspring possess
    the gates of their enemies.”

⁶¹ Then Rebekah and her maids got ready and mounted their camels and went back with the man. So the servant took Rebekah and left.

⁶² Now Isaac had come from Beer Lahai Roi, for he was living in the Negev. ⁶³ He went out to the field one evening to meditate,and as he looked up, he saw camels approaching. ⁶⁴ Rebekah also looked up and saw Isaac. She got down from her camel ⁶⁵ and asked the servant, “Who is that man in the field coming to meet us?”

“He is my master,” the servant answered. So she took her veil and covered herself.

⁶⁶ Then the servant told Isaac all he had done. ⁶⁷ Isaac brought her into the tent of his mother Sarah, and he married Rebekah.So she became his wife, and he loved her; and Isaac was comforted after his mother’s death.

The Right Pledge

Before Abraham’s servant completed the negotiation for Rebekah to be Isaac’s wife there was consultation with the girl and we will see how Isaac responds to the mate provided. In India I asked, what if the girl or boy says no. Then almost always they have the final say. But when the pledge is made it is honored.

I would like to say when you seek the will of God and there is clear directions that it is of God go with that decision and make the very best of that decision. There is no circumstance on this earth that is without problems and struggles. I see that with some of my pastor friends when moving to a new church. They pray about going to a certain church; the church prays about finding a pastor; they believe God directs them and then there are some problems. They immediately think, “Oh, we must have made some mistake. We must not have been in God’s will.” I don’t believe that. Yes. It may be a chance for growth and maturity and learning important lessons, but if you make that pledge then make the best of it relying on God’s power to see it through.

Just like there are no perfect pastors and perfect churches, no perfect parents, no perfect children, no perfect husbands and no perfect wives, there are pledges we keep and promises we make to make such relationships godly and good. It is that commitment that God does his best work.

Rebekkah said yes; Isaac said yes. All were in agreement to the pledge. Now live up to that pledge. Do you notice that love came last, not first, in this chapter? Isaac learned to love his wife in time. Love came after marriage, not before it. That leads me to a principle which many Christian counselors often stress: Romantic love is never the basis for marriage. Marriage is the basis for romantic love.

Verse 66 may seem incidental, but I think it reports a very essential step in the process of seeking a wife for Isaac. Abraham was convinced that Isaac needed a wife like Rebekah. The servant, too, was assured that Rebekah was the one for Isaac and had succeeded in convincing her family of this fact. However, let us not overlook the fact that Isaac, too, needed to be assured that Rebekah was the woman God had provided for him.

Much is compressed into the final verse of this chapter. Isaac took Rebekah into his mother’s tent, and she became his wife. His love for her blossomed and continued to grow. His marriage gave Isaac consolation for the death of his mother.

Perhaps no Old Testament passage illustrates the guiding hand of God as well as this portion in the book of Genesis. The importance of seeking Priorities of Gods’ will through the Word, through prayer, through the leading of an angel or if you will in the New Testament the leading of the Holy Spirit, through wisdom (that was the personality issue in marriage) through advice and counsel and permission of others, and lastly in keeping the pledge and going with the decision in the power and peace of God.

Pastor Dale

Death of a Spouse Genesis 23

Sermon Nuggets Mon July 30   Death of a Spouse                                       

Verses: Gen 23:1 Sarah lived to be a hundred and twenty-seven years old. ² She died at Kiriath Arba (that is, Hebron) in the land of Canaan, and Abraham went to mourn for Sarah and to weep over her.

Death of a Spouse-

            The story is told of a couple that didn’t get along very well. They would fight and argue every chance they had. Finally, the wife said, “Henry, all we every do is fight. We never have a decent conversation any more. I am going to pray that the Lord will take one of us home so we can have some peace. And when he does, I’m going to move to Washington to be by my sister.”

            One man died who had been mean to his wife, and ornery to his kids. At the funeral the preacher began to tell about how wonderful the deceased man was, until finally the widow nudged one of her sons and said, “Go up to the casket and see whose that preacher is talking about. We got the wrong funeral.”

            When we went to India I will admit the best meal I had as in the humble home of Dr. Joseph who was a faculty member of a seminary. His daughter, about 20 years old made it for us. He informed us that she was the woman of the house, since his wife died about 15 years ago. He also has two sons who were at seminary. On his wall hung a painting of his wife. He missed her dearly. Two years after her death he remarried but his second wife soon died with cancer also, so he concluded the Lord wanted him to be a single parent as he raised 3 children into adulthood. His tears were a mixture of admiration for his daughter and grief over his loss. 

We know that when a loved one dies life takes on a dramatic turn. Never is that more exemplified than when a spouse dies. I have heard the comment made more than once that when you bury a spouse, it is as if part of yourself is being put into the grave. One of our church members wrote a card of thanks.  “The cards and flowers were beautiful, the memorials, visits, and hugs meant so much to us. I never thought I could accept losing my partner for fifty great years and my best friend, but through your prayers and support, I have felt lifted up and carried to a place of joy and peace…Knowing he is in heaven, I can only be happy for him. God is so good! His grace is sufficient for me!”

            The adjustment to the loss of someone so close as a loving spouse is the hardest experience a person faces. In marriage the Bible describes the relationship as “two become one.” That oneness ins many ways is broken and typically man surviving spouses feel torn and empty. Many can look forward to the journey to heaven especially when the earthly body is experiencing hardship, illness, pain, or suffering. When a loved one passes older saints look forward to seeing them again.

This week we will look at Abraham putting his wife Sarah in the grave and look at different expressions at the passing of a loved one.

Pastor Dale                 

Sermon Nuggets Tues July 31 Expression of Grief

Verses: Gen      23: 1,2 Sarah lived to be a hundred and twenty-seven years old. ² She died at Kiriath Arba (that is, Hebron) in the land of Canaan, and Abraham went to mourn for Sarah and to weep over her.

An Expression of Grief          

             Grief is an adjustment to loss. It is the emotional, mental and physical reaction to losing someone or something very close to you. One can experience grief when a loved one dies, but you can experience grief when you move from a home, a son or daughter leaving for college, or getting married. The loss of a job, or even the loss of a item that may be stolen or broken that has sentimental value can produce feelings of grief.

            Elizabeth Kuber Ross, a noted physician who has done much study with terminal patients and their families, noted there are five common experiences when one faces a significant loss or terminal illness. After the initial stage of shock, it is not uncommon to experience a period of denial. There is a closing off of the news that you don’t want to hear or believe. It seems like an unreal dream. It cannot be true. They don’t and won’t accept the fact that someone close has died. They may go through the motions of a funeral service, but emotionally are deadened to accept the fact and refuse to do anything different than before. Some will keep clothes, dresses, and rooms exactly like they were before the death as if somehow the person were coming back.

            Another stage might be bargaining. It can include making promises to God. “If you heal me from Cancer I will serve you faithfully in church, or be a minister.”

 Or if someone dies a sort of bargaining is going over and over in your mind what could be different to prevent the death. You might hear the words expressed “If Only.” If only I did this, or he did that. Blaming can be part of bargaining: blaming God, blaming a doctor, blaming the driver of a car, or the speed of an ambulance or blaming the person himself for not going to doctor sooner. “If only”. But the sad truth is, it doesn’t change.

            Anger- can be a common emotional reaction sooner or later. You may be angry that you cannot do anything to change the situation. One can experience anger at self or others, or even the person who died.  People have emotions that they stuff inside and sometimes come out irritated at circumstances, people or things that normally wouldn’t bother you. It is part of grief.

I know of one pastor who told the story to a group of us that he was at the gravesite and noted that many family members felt anger and anguish toward this father. Some did not want to come to the burial. Without knowing the history he stopped at the conclusion of the prayer and said. “Now perhaps it is significant that when this body is buried you bury with it some of your feelings of anger.” Tears started flowing and stories started coming out of his abuse, and neglect as a father. They shared memories and hurts that they long held. The pastor had a burial service for those hurts. Symbolically they took dirt and put it on the grave symbolizing the dirt they felt. They began to let it go and some healing began

.

            Depression is not uncommon when there is the sense of loss. One can feel self pity and turn inward, not wanting to be part of normal life. Not feeling like doing anything or talking to anyone that might bring life back to normal, because it will never be normal.

            Hopefully, acceptance is also part of grief experience. Some never get to that point. It is the stage when you realize the person is gone. You miss her, but you must go on with life.  Things do get better and it is okay. It is part of coming to emotional grips with the loss when there may be special times and lonely times, and sad times, but one sees that as being part of the normal experience of life. One realizes others have gone on and made it and they can too. Life begins to feel good again and it is okay to laugh or have a good time and not feel guilty about it as if you shouldn’t be. Talking helps a lot in the grief cycle. A burden bearer listens to the tears, the memory of the stories, and most importantly loves. You can’t take the pain away. Time and talking and expressions of grief are the best ways to healing.

            Feelings are normal. We can have a mixture of emotions after someone’s death. Talking and expressing them begins the grieving process. Some wonder if they are going crazy. If there is any a time to “fall apart” it would be at the time when someone loses another they are close to. Remember at the place of Lazarus’ tomb, Jesus wept.

Pastor Dale

Sermon Nuggets Weds Aug 1 – Remembrance

Verses Gen 23: 3 Then Abraham rose from beside his dead wife and spoke to the Hittites. He said, 4 “I am an alien and a stranger among you. Sell me some property for a burial site here so I can bury my dead. ”

An Expression of Remembrance

           

Why is it a custom to have an obituary? What is purpose of a funeral service? How is it part of grief is remembering of experiences of the loved one?

Abraham mourned, and wept and grieved over the loss of Sarah his wife, who incidentally is the only woman mentioned in the Bible that gives her age when she died. Mourning in that day included the rending the clothes, beating the breasts and sprinkling ashes upon the head. We do not know how long Abraham mourned, but at Jacob's death his children mourned for seven days. Weeping is a personal response of a person undergoing grief, loss, and disbelief.

Part of an expression of a funeral or burial service is an opportunity to grief is a private and public way, which helps with the healing. It is significant at the time of ones passing to have an opportunity to think about the memories of an individual. We have memorials placed around not only to honor, but to remember. The memorial in Hawaii remembers the loss at Pearl Harbor and the USS Arizona remains there to remember that tragedy. There is a memorial for 911 victims in NYC. Yesterday was an anniversary of the death and injury to many who were victims of the collapse of the I-35W Bridge in Minneapolis. We have seen people’s pictures posted on the news who were shot and killed by James Holmes in Aurora, CO. People in a funeral service, or in some tangible way, act out grief by remembering the person.

For many it isn't only the remembrance of a person, but an event or occasion. It might be to remember our freedoms at a memorial day celebration. It might be to remember the beginning of a nation at George Washington's memorial as he symbolized being the father of the country. The tomb of the unknown soldier is not about a person, but many people, unknown to us who served our country and gave of their lives for our liberties.

Dear Abby gives this advice on how to respond to those who are grieving: "How one handles grief is a personal matter. Let the one who has suffered the loss take the lead. If he feels like talking, encourage him to talk. If he prefers to sit in silence, don’t intrude on his silence. Friends should call, bring food, offer to run errands, and do what needs to be done. A hug, a squeeze of the hand, a look which says, "I’m here, if you need me," conveys more than a thousand words.

 There was a place Abraham could go to that he owned and didn’t have to feel guilty or obligated. He could take care of it to work out some of his grief. That tomb has been visited for generations that followed remembering the work of God through Abraham and Sarah and the beginning of the Jewish nation and the redemptive history of God’s intervention with mankind for salvation.

There is something healing to have a spot to go for memories and sharing of private thoughts. Living just outside the cemetery I become aware of visitor who come and think about the family member, or loved one who died. They sometimes offer a prayer and think about the grace and goodness of God as they are flooded with personal memories of a shared life. Recently people gathered around the spot where a neighbor was buried and many told stories about him. Some of the stories were funny, some were of his charity, others talked about his work and others about his hobbies. It helps them to come to say goodbye to one who lived through history of life.

 Even when someone is cremated and wants their ashes placed over a lake, or mountain, I give the family permission to take some of the ashes, and if it is important to them, to have a spot they can go to for reflection and meditation.

Remembering is part of grieving.

Pastor Dale

Sermon Nuggets Thurs Aug 2 Honor

Verses: Gen 23: ⁵ The Hittites replied to Abraham, ⁶ “Sir, listen to us. You are a mighty prince among us. Bury your dead in the choicest of our tombs. None of us will refuse you his tomb for burying your dead.”

⁷ Then Abraham rose and bowed down before the people of the land, the Hittites. ⁸ He said to them, “If you are willing to let me bury my dead, then listen to me and intercede with Ephron son of Zohar on my behalf ⁹ so he will sell me the cave of Machpelah,which belongs to him and is at the end of his field. Ask him to sell it to me for the full price as a burial site among you.”

¹⁰ Ephron the Hittite was sitting among his people and he replied to Abraham in the hearing of all the Hittites who had come to the gate of his city. ¹¹ “No, my lord,” he said. “Listen to me; I give you the field, and I give you the cave that is in it. I give it to you in the presence of my people. Bury your dead.”

¹² Again Abraham bowed down before the people of the land ¹³ and he said to Ephron in their hearing, “Listen to me, if you will. I will pay the price of the field. Accept it from me so I can bury my dead there.”

¹⁴ Ephron answered Abraham, ¹⁵ “Listen to me, my lord; the land is worth four hundred shekels of silver, but what is that between me and you? Bury your dead.”

¹⁶ Abraham agreed to Ephron’s terms and weighed out for him the price he had named in the hearing of the Hittites: four hundred shekels of silver, according to the weight current among the merchants.

¹⁷ So Ephron’s field in Machpelah near Mamre —both the field and the cave in it, and all the trees within the borders of the field—was deeded ¹⁸ to Abraham as his property in the presence of all the Hittites who had come to the gate of the city. ¹⁹ Afterward Abraham buried his wife Sarah in the cave in the field of Machpelah near Mamre (which is at Hebron ) in the land of Canaan. ²⁰ So the field and the cave in it were deeded to Abraham by the Hittites as a burial site.

An Expression of Honor

            Abraham wanted to give his wife a proper burial out of honor for her as his loved one. He wanted to have a place he could purchase her grave.

           

 I want to caution you from the two extremes when it comes to funerals and our understanding of them. The one extreme is to make too little of funerals and burials, and the other is to make too much of them.

            It is an increased practice that people don’t have any services of any kind. Some will treat a person’s dead body just like an animal. It is true the Bible teaches the body is temporary. It comes from dust and it shall return to dust.  When the soul leaves it really doesn’t make a lot of difference what you do with the body.

Some people ask me if it is proper for a Christian to be cremated. I remind them of the many saints of God who were burned at the stake, or as the book of Hebrews tells us some bodies were torn into two and thrown to the animals.  It makes no difference if it is cremated, or buried, or tossed in the garbage heap as far as eternity goes for after death we are done with the body  When Jesus returns there will be a resurrection- in 1 Corinthians 15 and I Thes 4 is clear that it will be a new body. 

I have told Judi I could care less what she does with my body when I am gone, but I want her and the family to do what they feel is right for them. Funeral services are for the living not for the dead. I do not see value in extremely expensive funerals to show to others how much we loved the person. There are also times you cannot and should not follow the wishes of the one who died. Sometimes people think their wishes are just as sacred as Scripture and they are not. It’s more meaningful to the living to follow the wishes of the loved one than it is to the loved one. They are not going to return to haunt you. Some people live under tremendous guilt because they were unable to carry out all the wishes of a spouse.

            Why don’t we treat the dead body as we would an animal? It is simply because we are not an animal. Each person was created in the image of God. Because as children of God each of us are created in the image of God and are special part of God’s creation. We are not animals. I believe this is proper as each life is a special creation of God. I have been to funeral service when I was a chaplain in the nursing home where only the funeral director, the director of nurses, and myself were the only ones there at the burial. The funeral director wanted to make it clear that there would be no money involved because there wasn’t enough even to bury the person.

But because we no longer need our bodies does not mean that we treat them with disrespect, but rather with honor. Biblically I noticed how much was related to honoring the life of the person who lived. I read today in the news of a notorious outlaw in the 1800 in Australia was hanged and his body was thrown into a mass grave. A developer wanted to keep the bones but the family petitioned the bones be exhumed and place in a family burial spot.

 Abraham was buried later in this spot, Isaac was buried here, Rachael was buried here and at the end of Genesis Jacob tells his son Joseph not to bury him in Egypt but here in this cave with Abraham and Isaac and their wives. This is the family plot.

            As you might read in other passages about burial like Jezabeel not to be buried is a curse and dishonor. It was a curse of God on a land when those who died were so great they couldn’t be buried, or if one was not buried after an execution it was against the law of Moses and a curse could come upon the land. Eccl 6:3 A man may have a hundred children and live many years; yet no matter how long he lives, if he cannot enjoy his prosperity and does not receive proper burial, I say that a stillborn child is better off.” 

            Because of the relationship he had with Sarah he wanted to give her a proper burial in her own grave and not a borrowed one. Who knows what the immediate future would hold in relationship to the Hittites?         

            I do not see in the Bible where believers treat the dead like the unsaved do. Kings and Pharoahs would have elaborate funerals where sometimes slaves and even family members are killed with them to join them in the afterlife. Some people go all out on expense of a funeral servicing for the sake of other people and what they think with the misguided believe that the more I spend on the casket and flowers the more others will know I love my spouse.

            Abraham paid the right price. It was not inflated, nor was it free. Now it might seem odd that Abraham could have had a free grave. But that wasn’t good enough. Certainly, we know that he had means to provide, but the neighbors would have been proud to just give him the cave and the land as a gift. They wanted to also honor him and her by this act of compassion. It was important to Abraham in honor of his wife to pay the proper price. He didn’t want a professional discount. He didn’t want to take advantage of the situation, nor did the seller. The seller was honest and forthright saying, I want to give it to you. This is what the market price is, not too high not too low, and without any hesitation that is what Abraham was willing to pay.

            I think that is a good policy for business with the unsaved. Be fair in your business dealings. Don’t let them think they hate to see you come because you rip them off. Nor is it right to play into the emotions of the moment and be talked into things that are not needed or wanted. The Biblical example of Abraham is to honor the life that lives.

            I would like to add that I believe the funeral homes in this area do a very fine service and are very helpful to talk through issues with the family to make it as meaningful as possible and within the means and interests of the loved ones.

            A burial is also an expression of honor.                       

Pastor Dale

Sermon Nuggets Fri Aug 3 Faith

Verses Gen 23 & Heb 11:  ¹³ All these people were still living by faith when they died. They did not receive the things promised; they only saw them and welcomed them from a distance. And they admitted that they were aliens and strangers on earth. ¹⁴ People who say such things show that they are looking for a country of their own. ¹⁵ If they had been thinking of the country they had left, they would have had opportunity to return. ¹⁶ Instead, they were longing for a better country—a heavenly one. Therefore God is not ashamed to be called their God, for he has prepared a city for them.

           

An Expression of Faith.

            I think this passage is also an expression of Faith. When we have funeral services I remind the family members that part of what we purpose to do is to remember the person that died. Part of why we have a service is also in a corporate and community way to let the friends know we love them and support them and share with them in their loss and bear their burden. Funeral service and attendance is one way of doing that, flowers, gifts, and acts of kindness assist in that expression of love at a time like this. It is neat to know you are remembered and thought of and prayed for.

            But a service is also an expression of faith. We have the greatest news at that time of a funeral and that is for anyone who is in Jesus Christ there is a passing form this world into the next. We remind ourselves of salvation. It is an opportunity to tell the good news that Jesus Christ died for your sins that you regardless of your past can be forgive of all your sins and by trusting in the works of Jesus on the cross to save you, and forgive you, you turn your life over to the Lord with personal desires and you will be saved.

            Burials become an expression of faith. Christ is our hope beyond the grave. Only Jesus Christ gives us the power of the resurrection, because only Jesus Christ rose from the dead and is alive. We do not worship a dead God but a living savior that is the whole story of Easter.

            What does this have to do with Abraham? It was a faith promise that God would lead Abraham from Ur into a promised land and give him descendants. Now I thought he would have a dozen kids or more, but He only had two, Isaac and Ishmael. Not much of a crowd there and they split up and went different ways. But they were the fruit fruits of the promise,

            Interestingly this is the first land that Abraham staked claim to as being his in the promised land. So far everything had been borrowed, not owned. He lived in tents, never in houses. He never settled. Jis address was a tree outside Mamre. Now he purchased as sole owner land which by faith became the first fruits of the promise of God that land would be theirs. Abraham’s intentions were not yet understood. He desired a permanent possession, not a borrowed tomb. This land of Canaan was to be his home, not a mere stopping-off place. Consequently, Abraham asked the people to urge Ephron to sell him the cave of Machpelah, which was at the end of his field (verse 9). This was not to be a gift but a purchase at full value of the property.

            God would give them possession of that land some 400 years plus later. This is the spot that had the draw on the people of Israel. It was the marker of faith that this land is the promised land of God to the Israelites as a commitment to God. (read Heb11:13-16)

            This becomes a mark of a fulfilled promise and a future inspiration. By determining that Sarah, and later he and his descendants, would be buried in Canaan, Abraham “staked his claim” in the land which God had promised. The land where he would be buried was to be the homeland of his descendants. The place that God had promised him was the place where he must be buried. It became the hope for the generations that followed. It was sacred, not because a dead body was there, but because this was part of the promise of faith by God to the people. It was there and declared their belief in an active, living, and personal God.

Interestingly, the land of Canaan had not yet been possessed when this book (Genesis) was written. But those who received it from the hand of Moses were those who looked forward to its conquest. What motivation this story must have provided for the armies of Israel as they marched into Canaan to possess it!

The cave of Machpelah stood for centuries as a monument to the faith of Abraham, Isaac, and Jacob. The empty tomb of our Lord guarantees the Christian that the grave is not our final resting place but an abode for the body until Christ returns for His own.

What does the grave mean to you  ? Is it the end or only the beginning? Your relationship to the God of Abraham and to His Son, Jesus Christ, makes the difference. The occasion of the death of a loved one should always be viewed as an opportunity for Christian witness. What we say at such times is very important, but let us not forget that what we do is also vital. Abraham’s deeds in chapter 23 are as significant as his declarations. It was a witness of his faith to the nations around him.

It is our goal when we bury our loved ones to remember 1 Cor 15 we do not grieve as those who have no hope, but grief, express you loss and your hurt and heartache, but with the hope that in Christ there is the resurrection. There is faith. We honor our loved ones, but only because we can honor the one who saves from sin and death and brings us to life everlasting. We will see Abraham, Sarah, Isaac and Jacob and all who commit their lives to the Lord.

Pastor Dale