Sermon Nuggets Mon July 13
Theme Harmony in the Home
Verses: 1 Pet 3:1 Wives, in the same way be submissive to your husbands so that, if any of them do not believe the word, they may be won over without words by the behavior of their wives,
Harmony in the Home- Wives
I begin devotions this week with a controversial passage in our society because the passage speaks of submission to your husbands as if wives were slaves. In our culture wives are to be treated as equals.
Next week we will speak about husbands, but the phrase “wives, in the same way…” should give us some thought. It refers to the things that Peter had discussed earlier. Last week we looked at the importance of jobs. He was actually talking to slaves who were now saved and instructing them to live lives yielded to the Lord, doing right, and if he suffers unjustly let God use that to bring vengeance from God and convict people their need for Jesus to save them.
Praise God we do not live in a slave based society and for employers to treat their workers
with beatings, no pay, and conditions of physical suffering would be illegal. In that context of having no recourse or rights the slave submitted himself to the Lord. But everyone regardless of their employment should submit himself, or herself, to the Lord.
The same way, wives were in a society without rights or privileges. They had no recourse where husbands could beat, and misuse their wives. What do you do as a wife in a slave-like relationship when there is no one to turn to? You turn to the Lord and recognize higher principles in a relationship that God can use. Be like Jesus and know that God will bring good out of bad situations.
Workers today have rights, and so do wives. We do not live in that same environment and economy. I would not argue to return to a slave-like system with workers or with wives. Many masters treated their slaves with utmost respect, just as many husbands also treated their wives with greatest of honor and love. But there are principles for slaves and principles for wives. Those principles are valid for employees in our work world today and these principles “in the same way” are valid way to treat husbands as well as wives in our day today. Let Jesus be your model.
Christian Parenting Today, by Karen Harter in entitled, "I Have a Dream". In it the Mother awakens to the dawn of a new day. House immaculate, aroma fresh coffee filling the air. She leisurely breakfast on table of fresh flowers and tasteful stereo music, enjoying quiche and grapefruit skimming of the New York Times and await a romantic breakfast with her husband who following his shower dresses neatly folding his pajamas and depositing his wet towel in the hamper. He cheerfully joins his wife for breakfast and meaningful conversation. What a dream!
You get the picture don't you? Then she hears the yell, "Mom, Michael's wet his bed again and now he's trying to get into mine." awakens Mom from her dream. She notices that her husband is gone for the day with the laundry basket dumped onto the bedroom floor and clothes scattered all over. The kitchen a mess with cereal and spilled milk.
I like this part, "It is 10 A.M. and I am still unshowered and uncombed. I am on my hands and knees scrubbing jam off the linoleum, while mentally stewing my husband for not leaving me the checkbook so I can pay the bills. Through the hand prints on the sliding glass door I see two brown legs. They are attached to a handsome UPS man who is looking down at me with an amused sort of smirk.
I hate that. He probably thinks I am messy, disorganized, undisciplined housewife. Oh yes, I know what he's thinking. He's thinking my bangs are too short, and my children are unkempt, and those curtains look tacky with that wallpaper."
What Karen Harter describes in her articles articulates well the dream and the reality. We chide ourselves and feel we fail miserably when what we've dreamed and what occurs are two different worlds.
Too often we idealize Christian marriage where bliss and harmony exist constantly and are surprisingly disappointed when life does not work out that way. We start to think that's the way all Christians live except my family.
Christ's desire for Christian marriages is harmony. How can it be a happier place? One way is to seek to fulfill God's design in your role as a wife and husband. Each spouse needs to apply Biblical principles to assure the Harmony. It is God’s will to seek to save each member of the family and when one spouse is a believer God can use ones life to witness to the other spouse. It starts by seeking harmony in the home.
Pastor Dale
Sermon nugget Tues July 14, 2009
Verse 1 Peter 3:1 Wives, in the same way be submissive to your husbands so that, if any of them do not believe the word, they may be won over without words by the behavior of their wives,
Marriage is a Matter of Submissiveness
Don't you find it interesting that there is 6 verses for women, and only one for men. In the first century if a man accepted Christ the wife followed. It was not the other way around. It was true then and is true today women were more open to the gospel than men were. After women turned to Christ the question was how were they to live so as to positively witness to their unsaved husband. As head of the households the men often resented what happened and it meant for further suffering of their wives. What's the best way to win their husband over to Christ?
First, submission is for the sake of witness. This is one of those passages that are full of controversy if people in our day make it such. In the day of Women's Liberation we do not like being told submit. Yet this is the call of Christ for all of us. We are to submit to authorities and rulers of every kind.
The relationship between husband and wife is the most basic of relationships. It should be the goal of each Christian to be the best they can be for Jesus sake. But don't mistake the problem with disobeying the Biblical commandment not to marry non-Christian. II Cor. 6:14,15
I did a survey at Stanchfield asking the question what would you like young couple to know before marriage. When it comes to spiritual things the women tend to be more open in their comments than the men.
Listen to the advice from the ladies: "You better be sure he has a sincere relationship with Jesus Christ before you marry him.” “Jesus is the only hope for change.” “Be sure that your spouse is a true Christian and willing to be the spiritual leader of the family.” “Get it together spiritually and know where your to-be spouse is at.” “Marry a Christian.” "One thing I learned before marriage was to wait. When I waited God led me to the right one to be my husband. Someone from a Christian home and as a Christian and attended Church regularly.”
Submission is a whole lot easier if you share the same values and goals under Jesus. Don't expect God to bless if you are in disobedience to him and marry someone outside the faith or think you can change him after marriage.
Now if you have become a believer after marriage that is a different matter. You are not to leave your spouse, but be the type of wife that will allow God's Spirit to work on him and bring him to salvation. Be the best wife you can. Honoring, respect, encourage, love and agree to let him lead in ways that are right. Turn your rights over to the Lord. May your actions be used of God. No Christian wife can help win her husband over by being bossy.
Secondly, Submit for the sake of Harmony
Don't get caught up in power struggles. Most commonly, nobody wins. God designed that there be leadership in every organization. That has nothing to do with knowledge, or even ability. It has to do with harmonious relationship.
Subjection does not mean inferior, not subordinate nor slave. It is for the purpose of order.
For harmony to exist in worship we obviously have shared positions of authority. Every so often the organist or pianist would get the wrong song and begin playing it. Everyone has an embarrassed giggle and stops because there is conflict. Harmony is when we play the same song, sing the same verses at the same time. So we have order. We submit ourselves one to another for sake of harmony, so now a song leader comes and gives us the number tells us to stand or sit.
Within the roles we play there are times when we are in authority. That is an important role for the sake of harmony. We are to reflect love and submission, care and giving up of rights for greater enduring happiness. We must be different than the way other marriages are made if we are under God's authority. God holds the husband responsibility for how the family is doing. That is the ideal situation as the marriage team works together each with their gifts and abilities.
Submission was set as an example by Jesus, as we read in the preceding verses. Jesus sought submission to the will of His Father yet they were co-equal in nature and in essence. He voluntarily ordered this earthly experience to the will of his Father so that His glory and love might be more clearly seen. That is the model Peter presents for us all.
Listen also to some of the comments from the men in the survey. "Let their husband be the leader and be the man she fell in love with and that she should feed him with her solid thinking and thoughtful idea." "Do not have a women's lib attitude toward your husband and family. It will put great pressure on your marriage." “Be a good helper to your husband.”
Marriage is a step of faith by letting the Lord do the leading according to the principles laid out in the Scriptures. Disorder happens when we seek our will and way. That’s how it has been from the beginning.
Pastor Dale
Sermon Nugget Weds July 15, 2009
Verses- 1 Peter 3:2,3 ..when they see the purity and reverence of your lives. Your beauty should not come from outward adornment, such as braided hair and the wearing of gold jewelry and fine clothes.
Marriage is a Matter of Purity
Since Peter is addressing wives in this passage he recognizes the role is used by God to change the family for Christ. Christianity is more than mental assent to doctrines of Christian faith it is a manner of life of purity first and foremost to God. A wife has testimony of her life to help husband come to Christ by her Christian conduct, her reverence and her purity.
The emphasis on women toward their husbands is in character, not in outward beauty. There are lots of people that work on being beautiful outwardly without inward beauty from God.
Women, even in that society did a lot to making themselves pretty. According to one commentary, those who could afford it didn't work so they spent lots of time and energy primping up and looking attractive. They gave attention to their hair by spinning it, braiding it, decorating it. They would decorate themselves with jewelry. They had rings for noses and ears and wrist and neck and ankles. The latest styles brought brought evny of others. I guess things don't change much through the years.
There certainly isn't anything wrong with trying to look nice, but sexual attractiveness has become an obcession in our society. Such a focus on how pretty we look instead of how godly one is for the Lord is a misguided priority.
I talked with some former folks from Stanchfield who told me in their present church they can't afford to dress up like the others in their young adult Sunday School do. So? I asked. They explained that was the basis of their acceptance in the church, not officially, but informally. Many their age were wearing designer clothes and those most popular as leaders were admired. I said this sounded like Junior High instead of a place of worship for all people.
Since we want to fit in, the criteria to do so is often on outward appearances. Don't get caught up in that game of being accepted or part of certain cliques based on what you wear or how you look. That is not as important to God as your purity and character of righteousness.
Some think this is an injunction against make-up or jewelry, but I don't think that is the intent. It isn't that you shouldn't seek to be attractive and neat. But you shouldn't do that to the neglect of fine character. The character reflected in pure action is far more important than outward adornment. Isaiah's denunciation of the daughter of Zion is for this very reason they were "haughty, and walked with stretched necks and wanton eyes, walking and mincing as they go, and making a tinkling with their feet. (Is. 3:16-24) Many of the women would get caught up in affairs, and extra marital relationships because of their outward advertisements. Instead women are to be pure and holy and set aside for their husbands only. It does no marriage any good to go around comparing what you think you might have gotten in a husband, instead of what you do have in a husband. The Lord's word desires that we make our husbands happy with faithfulness, purity, and reverence for them.
There are scriptural indications of the bride being adorned for her husband, which are symbolic of purity and reverence for Christ. I wish that many women would put in at least the equal time reading their Bible and praying as they do in trying to fix their hair and look nice. The inner beauty is what God is concerned about the character.
The emphasis on Scripture in the original emphasizes more of the winsome behavior than the words we use. You may be the only Jesus that your husband may ever see and he is watching you. What is it that Jesus is trying to tell him through you? Men are not won by words but by love and pure behavior.
Certainly look attractive for your husband. Don’t take that for granted. But emphasize the things that matter. Let Christ show in your love, faithfulness, purity, and reverence.
Pastor Dale
Sermon Nuggets Thurs July 16, 2009
Verse 1 Peter 3:4 Instead, (your beauty) should be that of your inner self, the unfading beauty of a gentle and quiet spirit, which is of great worth in God's sight.
Marriage is a Matter of Gentleness.
Let me say that one of Satan's greatest triumphs is to break up a marriage. This strategy was part of the disharmony since the Garden of Eden. Harmony in the home was disrupted when blame was introduced.
One of the greatest complaints that husbands have against their wives is the use of the tongue. Nagging, put downs, comparisons and angry words become a barrier to any relationship. One man said his wife was an angel-she is always up in the air and harping about something. The tongue can be cruel when critical, and negative. On my survey one man added, "I wish my wife wouldn't compare me to other men." That would go for both genders. To do that is tearing down your spouse and building someone else up.
But tongue can also be used of the Holy Spirit to bring harmony in the home. Praise him; tell him what you admire in him; be devoted to him; encourage him. It is with gentleness and kindness that makes someone beautiful in God’s eyes. God honors those are humble, not proud and arrogant toward their husbands. It is hard to live with someone who wants to pick a fight about everything.
I should add in the context of being a witness for Jesus at home some try to influence their unsaved husband in very manipulative manners. It does not help; it only drives many husbands farther from Christ. I knew a lady that hated it when her husband would go to a bar. So she decided instead of being home for him she would smother herself in Christian activities to get back at him for going to the bar. Now he had to make supper, or find clean clothes. Now he wanted to let him see how he liked it when she was gone all the time thinking she was much holier than he was because she was involved in church and religious activities. Her religion was only another weapon in her arsenal waging war against him. I was not surprised the marriage ended in divorce.
Some will play their religious radio programs, or T.V. programs so loud that dear ol' dad is bound to hear it in the hopes of getting him saved. They will leave literature all over, and religious books so they trip over them to get them to read it. What do you think that does to the men? It makes them more determined than ever to stay away.
The Bible has a much better way of going about it. It is with a gentle spirit that is full of love for your husband. Be the best wife you can be and in all matters that it relates to you, be at peace with your husband so he will see your character and God will then speak to him. You do your job, keep praying, and let God work through you to draw Him to Jesus Christ.
There are lots of competitors out there to get in the way of your relationship with Christ and your relationship with your husband. You must make a choice that your relationship with your husband is your priority next to God.
Pastor Dale
Sermon Nuggets Fri July 17, 2009
Verses-1 Pet 3:5,6 For this is the way the holy women of the past who put their hope in God used to make themselves beautiful. They were submissive to their own husbands, like Sarah, who obeyed Abraham and called him her master. You are her daughters if you do what is right and do not give way to fear.
Marriage is a Matter of Trust.
This is an unusual passage in our Western culture. We already mentioned the context of this passage is the principle laid down in the previous chapter. Peter was instructing his readers who were going through persecution to follow the example of Jesus. In trusting Him as Savior and Lord you are submitting yourself to the authority of God and His Word. He says follow Christ.
The hardest place to follow Jesus is in the home. In the same way Jesus faced hardships, so follow His example even in your home. Sometimes you will suffer wrongly, sometimes you will wonder if it is worth it. In the society that treated wives poorly Peter wanted to encourage wives to look to Christ.
What did Jesus do when negatively attacked? How did Jesus respond in situations of false judgment? He looked beyond the immediate situation to the ultimate plan of His Father who is in heaven. Notice His hope was in God. He trusted in Him who was in charge.
The beauty that pleases God is the inward nature and spiritual beauty. That is far greater than how we look on the outside. Peter used Sarah as an example. Sarah’s beauty was talked about generations after her death. Remember that Pharaoh saw her very attractive and she was quite an older woman at that time. That's preservation! Young Jewish girls wanted to be like her. Peter pointed to this model’s spiritual beauty of trusting herself to her God and her husband. That was what was attractive to God.
If a man were a slave today, or a prisoner, or in the armed services and did not have freedom, a good prisoner and a good slave would be seeking to please his master or supervisor, or commander. Abraham sinfully yielded to fear instead of righteousness. Sarah trusted anyway.
God protected Sarah because of His grace. She demonstrated trust. Peter calls all of us to act in the spirit with a desire to honor God and delight in the strength that God is being obeyed, unless or until there is direct conflict of Biblical truth.
It was Abraham living in the fine town and city of Ur when he heard the call of God to move and go to the Promised Land. Sarah with all the wealth and finery went with him. She obeyed. When Abraham was in the will of God she submitted to God’s call on her husband’s life and saw that as her responsibility to follow. In following Abraham’s faith commitment she was being obedient to what and where God was calling her. She called Abraham her master and Lord. There was no power struggle with her. Too often power struggles have spiritual issues at the core. Are we trusting an obeying the Lord as revealed in the Scriptures or our wants and ways?
The last phrase, “do what is right and do not give way to fear” is giving a principle of trusting God for outcomes over which you have no control. Do what is right is our part. And do not fear for God is ultimately in charge. When we do what is right we need not be afraid. Why does the commitment to Christ allow Christian marriages to last longer that most of the world’s marriages? It is by trusting the Lord and doing what is right and watching how He works out His will in our humble submission and service.
Pastor Dale
