Sermon Nuggets Monday July 27
Theme What Husbands Should Know
Verse 1 Pet 3:7 Husbands, in the same way be considerate as you live with your wives, and treat them with respect as the weaker partner and as heirs with you of the gracious gift of life, so that nothing will hinder your prayers.
Note- I didn’t have computer access last week or until today, so will send Monday and Tuesday devotions today. The times may be different depending on my access as I am still on vacation.
What Husbands Should Know.
Last time I commented on 1 Peter 3:1-6. The subject was wives. This week I will center on husbands. I begin with an illustration by Dr. Robert McQuilkin.
Robertson McQuilkin resigned as president of Columbia Bible College and Seminary, in South Carolina. It was a surprise to many as he was an instrumental force for God's kingdom and the advancement of missions. Do you know why he resigned? It was because his wife contracted Alzheimer’s disease and needed his care.
He had struggled priorities of ministry or being a husband to his wife. Didn’t the Bible say that one should seek first the Kingdom of Heaven? Doesn’t that mean serve God above all things? Didn’t Jesus say if someone loves Father or Mother more than me he is not worthy of me? What about the passage mean that says "If anyone comes to me and does not hate his father and mother, his wife and children, his brothers and sisters-- yes, even his own life-- he cannot be my disciple. (Luke 14:26)
Although this may have been a hyperbole for the sake of making it clear that our commitment to God is to be greater than all earthy attachments, how does that pay itself out if what we are doing is part of our commitment of obedience to the Lord in serving Him and the world as president of a Christian Institution? People advised him to put her in a nursing home so he could continue in the school. They needed him.
McQuilkin wrote an article in Leadership magazine where he stated that he doesn't have to care for his wife, he gets to. One blessing is the way she teaches him about God's love. She picks flowers outside-anyone's flowers and fills the house with them. In her confusion she picks the inside flowers too. Someone had given them planted flowers and she picked them and put them in a vase of water.
Sometimes while shopping in a grocery store Muriel begins to load others people's carts and takes off with them. As she needed Robertson more he wrestled daily with the question of who gets him full-time- the school or his wife? He promised 42 years before to take care of her in sickness and in health till death do us part. She had cared for him almost 40 years and with devotion; now it was his turn.
To the world the decision of a 57 years old man resigning from the highest post at a significant religious college to spend his time caring for his wife seemed to foolish when she would not even know who he was in a few short months. He told the school they can get another president. “My wife cannot get another husband.”
One oncologist said "Almost all women stand by their men; very few men stand by their women." McQuilkins said, "It is more than keeping promises and being fair, however. As I watch her brave descent into oblivion Muriel is the joy of my life. Daily I discern new manifestations of the kind of person she is, the wife I always loved. I also see fresh manifestation of God's love- the God I long to love more fully."
Pastor Dale
Sermon Nugget Tues July 28, 2009
Verse 1 Pet 3:7 Husbands, in the same way be considerate as you live with your wives, and treat them with respect as the weaker partner and as heirs with you of the gracious gift of life, so that nothing will hinder your prayers.
Consider your Relationships.
I am dealing with the verse that relates to husbands this week, as I wrote about wives last time. Since people were coming to Christ in the first century, there are the practical questions of how Christian relationship should change. The last chapters we had looked at how Jesus affect one's relationship with the government, with one's master or employers, and with one's marriage. The concept of what we have been talking about is the importance of harmony and order within the institutions that God has made, and how mankind and culture affects those relationships. We see the importance of being a witness to the unsaved and influence our culture around us with the light that comes from God. We saw the overlying principle of submission first to God and then to those who have authority over us so peace will reign and not chaos. We talked about the importance of letting God use us to facilitate change. Sometime we might have to give up rights and privileges in order to see the Kingdom of God advance and people grow in Christ. It is not taking upon ourselves a new form of legalism, but love. If you suffer for good then God will honor you.
A marriage relationship is the hardest place to live out your faith if you are married to an unsaved person. Don't marry a non-Christian you will be disobeying the Lord. But the point we made last time was if you came to faith in Jesus and your husband has not, then be the best wife you can be.
Some things we mentioned wives should know that marriage is a matter of submission in the partnership, it is a matter of purity in actions and dress, a matter of gentleness in attitude and words and a matter of trust in Jesus under whom one gives complete faith that He will work it out for His best. There is no place for abuse or misuse of the law however and if one finds themselves in that type of situation, help is needed for all parties involved. That is not honoring to the Lord.
Now we introduced our thoughts to speak to the husbands. I do not particularly like the way New International Version translates the Greek. I feel there is more interpretation than what the text might allow. The King James Version seems to me to be the best translation closest to the original words in my humble handling of the language.
Therefore listed the NIV text above. Here is how the KJV translates it. "Likewise, ye husbands, dwell with them according to knowledge, giving honour unto the wife, as unto the weaker vessel, and as being heirs together of the grace of life; that your prayers be not hindered."
As God desires harmony in the home the relationship between husband and wife is a reflection of the relationship that God desires with Jesus and the Church. Further reading on this is in Ephesians 5:25-33 , there are important Biblical instructions for husbands. But especially if you have a wife who is not a believer in Christ yet, our examples as men in love and in our commitment to our relationship with wives should provide a significant witness of the love of Christ.
Pastor Dale
Sermon Nuggets Weds July 29
Verse- 1 Peter 3:7 "Likewise, ye husbands, dwell with them according to knowledge, giving honour unto the wife, as unto the weaker vessel, and as being heirs together of the grace of life; that your prayers be not hindered."KJV
Consider your Responsibilities
Husbands are to be in the same way , or KJV says likewise. That goes back to 2:17 Show proper respect to everyone. But 2:13 and 2:17 would indicate the proper respect is shown by appropriate submission. The consideration that the husband has for his wife is also submitting to the example of Jesus Christ. This involves so much, but not the least of which is submission to the will of the Father. We know that Jesus desired two things on the earth to glorify his Father in heaven, and love His own so that they would be cared for.
Jesus was committed to his task of providing salvation because that is what brought more glory to God. The words "Till death us do part" are more than a just a phrase intended to give solemnity to the wedding ceremony. That is a determined commitment that makes for a happy marriage that goes beyond just the surface. It is an expression of commitment through all the joys and sorrows of marriage. That commitment to the will of the Father is part of the example of Christ.
If the Lord has desired that the husband be the head of the house for the sake of harmony and peace it is a role within a relationship to express love and relationship to the world. You can be sure that Satan will tempt man to lord it over his wife, or for the wife to be tempted to lord it over her husband to discredit the plan of God in a Christian marriage. It is easy to fall into the temptation to rule instead of lead.
Look at the verse Luke 22:25-26 "The kings of the Gentiles lord it over them and those who exercise authority over them call themselves Benefactors. But you are not to be like that. Instead the greatest among you should be like the youngest, and the one who rules like the one who serves." He also washed His disciple's feet as a demonstration of leadership. "You call me Teacher and Lord and rightly so, for that is what I am. Now that I, your Lord and Teacher have washed your feet, you also should wash one another's feet. I have set you an example that you should do as I have done for you." (John 13:13-15)
Notice that the military model of authority depends on subduing disobedience with power from above. Its objects is accomplishing the task at hand. The Christian model of authority depends on submission from below. Its object is the personal growth of the one who is led.
Tasks serve as opportunities for spiritual growing and the task can be modified for the learner's development.
Jesus communicated with the Father regularly and desired it. Be like Jesus. Let your conversations be from the heart with love and appreciation. Leadership before God means I must answer to God for the way I provide spiritual leadership with my family. So many studies are done that show the adverse affect that fatherless homes have on children in the long run. Just as fathers provide an important balance if done with love and reliance on God, so do roles as a husband to love, lead and care for his wife. God has called me to be considerate to my wife. If I am not, I have to answer to God, not my wife. It is a spiritual obligation that I do not make my decisions and expect her to waddle along with my every whim and whistle. No. It is a submission of my rights to God and asking God and Judi and in matter that are of importance to make them with her good in mind.
Within religious circles two terms have emerged regarding roles in a relationship. They are complementarian and egalitarianism. The complementarian view of marriage maintains that each gender for the most part has different roles to play in their relationship. A husband is considered to have the God-given responsibility to provide for, protect, and lead his family, while a wife is to collaborate with her husband, respect him, and serve as his helper in managing the household and primarily providing nurturing of young children.
Egalitarianism maintains that women and men should share equal authority and responsibility in marriage, and have equal leadership opportunities in religion and elsewhere.
I personally follow the complementarian view of Scripture. Most certainly each partner has unique gifts and abilities within a relationship, but the pattern for harmony within a relationship is best provided with responsibilities in roles that make that relationship function under God’s design. We have responsibilities as husbands. I believe it is to provide loving leadership to wives as a ministry to the Lord.
Pastor Dale
Sermon Nuggets Thurs July 30, 2009
Verse- 1 Peter 3:7 "Likewise, ye husbands, dwell with them according to knowledge, giving honour unto the wife, as unto the weaker vessel, and as being heirs together of the grace of life; that your prayers be not hindered."KJV
Consider Your Responses
As husbands, what should our responses be toward our wives? The NIV says to be considerate. The KJVsays to dwell with them according to the knowledge. What the Greek is saying literally is to live at home with his wife according to the standard of experiential knowledge. The word implies to make a home for, to inhabit one's abode together, to live at home with.
Men often allow themselves to become so occupied with so many other things that they have little time for their families and seldom spent time at home. In other words I believe he must become sensitive to his wife's feelings and desires. He must be considerate.
Knowledge is knowing about your wife, what she thinks, what she likes, what she dislikes, how she feels. Listing to her fears, and hopes and dreams is a means to gain knowledge and become an encouragement to our help mate. Still the number one problem in most marital relationships is the lack of communication. It takes work.
Often husbands fail to realize how tedious and boring housework can be. Men might think they've earned a trip alone fishing or with the boys playing golf and forget that women need a break from their housework also and have a vacation. Since I am on vacation this week Judi and I were reminiscing on past vacations. I longingly reminded her of the week up at a resort where we all had fun, fishing, swimming, playing table games, talking. “We should try to do that again.”
She responded, “I just remember working the whole time cleaning, organizing and cooking all week.”
How our memories change with years. Apparently she didn’t get the break she was looking forward to having. (I carried the stuff in.)
When I passed out a survey to couples on what they wished their spouse would know a common comment by wives is the feeling of being taken from granted. Women want to be appreciated and loved. They want romance, men. I forget that. I think that my wife knows that I love her. After reading the surveys I noticed my wife’s handwriting was not in the pile, but the comments just as well could have been. Love exists, but the affectionate relationship begins to cool. Women want to be appreciated and told that, shown that in ways that will not necessarily lead to sex.
When as the last time you and your spouse went out on a date? Dating and romancing your spouse can change those patterns and be a lot of fun and it is worth the trouble. Preventive maintenance takes on going work but it is work that must be done sooner, not later.
Another thing from the surveys is both men and women said good marriage take WORK. Even those who rated their marriage the highest said marriage takes work. Habits creep in slowly and after awhile a couple realizes the spark of romance is gone and they didn’t notice.
When I suggest dates some think they can't afford that. You can't afford not to. It might mean special attention at home, like making her breakfast in bed, or put together a puzzle, or renting or borrowing a classic video, or building a snowman. Even offer to take the kids every so often so she can get out of the house and do something for herself. It will do wonders.
Be the best husband you can possibly be; you will be happy. Most women would like to have the respect they received when you were dating. During those earlier days you wanted to hear what she said. You told her how much she meant to you. You liked being with she. Those practices will still be greatly appreciated.
The husband is to have a special place of honor for his wife, showing her worth and distinction, that she is highly prized, esteemed and loved.
Pastor Dale
Sermon Nuggets Friday July 31, 2009
Verse: 1 Peter 3:7 "Likewise, ye husbands, dwell with them according to knowledge, giving honour unto the wife, as unto the weaker vessel, and as being heirs together of the grace of life; that your prayers be not hindered."KJV
Consider your Reasons
The Bible calls the woman a weaker vessel. There isn't much debate that men are physically stronger than women. But cultures and countries respond to women differently as we are being painfully aware in the Middle East and Asia. Democracies have argued for free rights and privileges as well as equal wages and benefits for all people regardless of gender. Spiritually, of course, the Bible also acknowledges we are equal at the foot of the cross. Galatians is clear that in Christ there is neither slave nor free, male nor female, Jew or Gentile. We are all created in the image of God.
But that does not mean the Lord has given us the same gifts, talents, abilities as individuals-men and women. Some women have higher intelligence compared to men and vice versa. Some are more mechanical or mathematical, not to mention the Holy Spirit gives Spiritual gifts as He wills, and for periods of time according to God’s purposes. .
Weaker is a comparative term. Weaker implies one is weak and the other is weaker. We are all weak that is why we both must be dependent upon God.
This context of our meditations relate to how one is to influence others for the sake of Christ, whether one is saved when he is a slave, she is a wife, or he is a husband. As a father and husband you have responsibility to God to bring your family in the admonishment of Jesus. There are many women who become the spiritual leaders in their home because the husband is not saved or is living in rebellion against God and His truth. But as I read the Bible the man is held accountable to God to lead his family and provide spiritual influence.
This week I read how former President Jimmy Carter left the Southern Baptist Church. His views go contrary to their stated teaching on the place of women in the church and in marriage. I will blog on this with my weekly email "From Cope’s Computer" this coming Wednesday. But as a politician and a Christian, he feels the way women are treated in his denomination should not be in complimentary roles. He sees the church putting women in subservient positions that deny their equality in a culture, country and church. Even to use the term weaker would likely be prejudicial and wrong.
How do we live out two princples of weakness and equality in gender relationships according to the Bible? The passage makes clear equality in standing and in your inheritances given by God. You are each a child of God and there is no distinction. There are equal spiritual rights. Certainly, all people putting their faith in Christ are saved by the blood of Jesus Christ. God is delighted in the prayers of heartfelt conversations. He is delighted in loving the Jew as He is of the Gentile. Compared to the Jews would Gentiles be the weaker race because of the role they place in redemptive history? Is God’s plan for the Israeli nation over?
God will avenge injustice as much as the slave and the citizen, for the Jew or the Gentile, for the woman and the man, for the husband and the wife, for the employer and the employee, for the slave and the master.
How one treats his wife affects his relationship with God. Prayers are hindered if the wife is not properly cared for and honored under God.
When I came to Stanchfield I met Melvin and Amy Christensen. I think of them often. One man said to me “I have changed since I got married. I am different man today than back then. I must be true to myself and follow who I really am.” He was going to divorce his wife.
I thought of Melvin who tenderly cared for Amy when she had a stroke. When she was unable to communicate he devotedly worked and worked until she would talk. He did not give up. When she needed food he cooked it when she did all the cooking before. When she needed to be dressed he dressed her. The bright part of the day was when he could get her to write and speak a word. They celebrated. He learned through the years to continue in perseverance and brought her home.
They invited me to dinner as many of you have been in their home. Amy pointed to things to show me. When Melvin was increasing getting hard of hearing they worked out a system to communicate and help one another in their weaknesses.
I thought of them when a younger wife told me, "I guess I never really loved him. I have to do something for myself now, you know. I've given enough and lost many years in this relationship.”
After hearing the same senseless script I go back and think of the God honoring relationship between Melvin and Amy. Together they served their Lord by serving the community and the church faithfully. I went to Melvin at his request when a child needed money to go to camp. I watched Amy read her Bible and Daily Bread while confined at Grandview. They knew what Jesus meant when He said it is more blessed to give that receive. In dying we have eternal life.
What is it going to be ladies? What is it going to be men? Is the purpose of marriage to seek to meet your selfish needs? When there are gender power struggles in a relationship how does that honor God or witness to the sacrifice of Jesus for us? How are people to know the love of Jesus for His church and the importance of commitment, respect and mutual submission? I am glad for examples like the Christensons in Stanchfield who let their marriage show me Jesus.
In our relationship for harmony in the home I believe Scripture presents workable roles for the saved husband and the saved wife that brings glory to the Lord and peace as a light to Him. It is not in demanding our rights, but submitting them with our unique responsibilities before the Lord.
Pastor Dale
